Episode 20 Transcript: What It Takes to Make $250k a Month

Natalie Franke
What does it really take to run a multi seven figure business as a photographer and educator? Today on the podcast, I have the honor of chatting with a friend of mine and also one of the most world renowned photographers in my lifetime. Caitlin James. She is a trailblazer, a trendsetter. And she has built a business that generates over $250,000 every single month. But we all know that’s not the whole story. In this conversation, we pull back the curtain, we talk about what it truly takes to make that sort of revenue. Day in and day out this episode, you don’t want to miss. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve it.

Natalie Franke
There was a CNBC article that recently came out and I want to start us there because when I read the headline, it’s it’s something along the lines, have, you know, this person side hustles for hours a day and makes what a quarter of a million dollars a month? $250,000 a month? What it said, I think something in that realm thing crazy. And the minute I saw it, I was like, that’s not that’s not the whole that’s not capturing the whole story. No. So I want to kind of just start there for a second and say you you’ve built something really beautiful, you’ve built something really incredible, that should be celebrated. What is it? What are we what?

Katelyn James
Yes, first of all that article was, I was so honored, want to have something worthy of CMBC being like, yeah, we want to talk about that. That’s crazy. But it was also the first time I had ever shared with the world. What my life was actually like, and it started with a headline that was all about the money. And you know, that’s what makes people click and I get it. That’s, you know, that’s the industry they’re in. But what was maybe a misconception was that my story goes way. We’re talking 14 years back. And my entrepreneurial journey goes 14 years back. Actually, my entrepreneurial journey goes even further back than that. And so the time, thought, tears, the heartache, the bad decisions, the unhealthy seasons in our marriage, when my workaholism just took over, none of that played out into that story. So you’re seeing literally the most shiny, impressive part of me, almost minimizing what it took to create it. And I’m not mad at them. I mean, I did a podcast episode of my own, talking about the realities of you know, just that wasn’t truly a good representation of me.

Natalie Franke
So entrepreneurs, business owners will hear something like you know, you’re making almost a quarter of a million a month and immediately we know yes, that’s not profit. That’s revenue. Yeah. Even hit a number like that. You know, there must be a lot of ads, you’re running, there’s paid spent, there’s employees, you’re paying their health insurance. Yes. None of that is foreign to us. We know that right? But you know, an article goes out and the reporter wants the juicy bits. It’s gonna get the average person to click and think how is this mom making that much money four hours a day? I want to do it right now this moment. She must have started right now this moment.

Katelyn James
Surely that’s it? Surely it was like a Yeah, yeah. Found the thing sold the thing made the money.

Natalie Franke
But what was the first entrepreneurial dollar you ever made? Where did this truly begin? What were the humble beginnings of this seven figure business start?

Katelyn James
So the first business was Caitlin’s crafts, Caitlin’s crafts with two K’s that’s very important because that’s when I really started getting creative with whole the whole marketing thing. Like, how can I have a cool name, not just a boring name, right. So Caitlin’s crafts with two K’s I bought a dish from Walmart 40 cents, painted it, sold it at craft stores, and made like 40 bucks off of it. And that honestly was It was nothing financially impressive. But I watched people buy something that I created. And that I came up with, you know, I sketched ideas. And then I painted them. And then I watched it was like my first experience thinking through themes, collections, even like I was really into. And I just realized, like, I could get paid for things I could create that blows my mind. So what’s crazy is the EIN number of that business that was bringing in $1,000 a year just enough to have to pay taxes right is the same EIN number. I just transferred it to Caitlin Jay’s photography that now spends $1,000 a day on Facebook ads. Wow, it’s crazy. How so that that was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. But I also I went to craft shows with my dad, he would sit there for hours with me. And I’d go home and I didn’t sell a single plane. And for some reason, I kept going. And I was still it was like, it just opened this small door for me, I got my foot in to the taste of being an entrepreneur, and I couldn’t stop. And that I needed other things that flopped. Like I was paid hourly to do your booking for this random mom, I was like a year, I was a scrapbooker. That was a complete waste of my time. And I learned though, through that experience, why hourly rates matter why you cannot if you can’t speed this up, you can’t charge more, you can’t do it. It’s not a sustainable business. So I’m just at in my, you know, 16 year old space of a bedroom, I’m destroying my carpet. I actually did a blog post on this destroyed my parents carpet being creative. And I remember apologizing, like, Mom, I’m sorry, like it’s destroyed the paints all the way through to the sub floor, like Sorry, but now I’ve hired my mom. And she’s been working for us for six years. And my goal is to get this woman to retirement age, and to be able to allow her to be a paid grandma taking care of her grandchildren, while I run this business. So my entrepreneurial beginning started in my room as a high schooler, and shout out to my parents for letting me pursue it. They truthfully, and I could learn a lot from this, like my, my daughter was mourning, through sequins all over the floor. And I’m like, cleaning up. She’s like, but it look, it looks like we’re in Narnia. And I’m like, okay, so I should learn from my parents. They let me be creative. They let me pursue hard things. They taught me how to pay sales tax on my very, very small amount of profit. And they aren’t entrepreneurs themselves. But they were like in the journey with me. And now it has led to a multimillion dollar business that now employs both of them. I employed my dad starting this year, and he’s doing maintenance work for the school. We started for our kids. I mean, it’s all encompassing, and it started there.

Natalie Franke
What I love about that as well, is that you when you said I would go to craft shows, and no one would buy a single thing nothing. And yet I kept going. Yes. How many people at the first sign of friction, potential failure, or what the world might perceive as failure? Yes, stop.

Katelyn James
Yes, all the time. And how much does that still happen to me? Even now, because I just relaunched something recently that did fine. Ish. But it wasn’t KJ great, right. It wasn’t at my level of what I it did not even get close to hitting the mark. And my team has had to back me away from the ledge of like, Caitlin, you got to keep going like you. So yes, KJ 1.0 kept going when I was failing as a young entrepreneur. But that is a that’s a decision you have to continue to make. It’s not a you failed and you kept going and that’s just who you are Caitlyn forever as entrepreneur, you will always keep going. No, I have wanted to stop so many times. But I think the foundations of that you know what that taught me sitting at a craft show selling a $40 plate next to someone selling tie dyed T shirts that were 12 bucks. I learned about markets, I learned about audiences I learned about I gotta find my people. My people weren’t at the Podunk craft shows. They were buying from boutiques. So I went to a boutique and I started selling to a boutique, because that’s where people pay 40 bucks for hand painted bowl. People at a craft show in the middle the country don’t want a hand painted bowl. They want something cheap and easy. And don’t take all my money, right? They didn’t appreciate me so. So I think back in the day, I learned lessons like, I’ve got to find my brand. Who am I I’m in the wrong place. I’m selling hand painting hand painted bowls, to people that could care less about handling a bolt. So those failures taught me something every single one of them. But even to this day, two months ago, I’m still having to revisit the thought of I’ve got to choose to start again, that did not go well. Like that launch was not what I wanted it to be. I feel like I’m floundering. I feel like I’m you know, I’m a multimillionaire business owner and I still am making poor decisions and I’m still not getting it right. But then I try again and I do

Natalie Franke
I love that and from from those beginnings I don’t want to miss the moment at which so many people really did start to see your progress and like discover you so to speak. Which I feel like there have been multiple iterations but you then move from that into photography. Yes. And college in college. Tell us a little bit about that. And you know, you became a photographer you worked. What were you doing that while going to school at the same time? Yes, you’re taking classes and chats

Katelyn James
when I started to develop my under eye circles never went away. I remember telling my mom, I think I need to get an eye doctor because for some reason my eyes are so dark and she’s like honey, you’re not sleeping. That’s why I started shooting Oh headshots on campus. Then I got into weddings. And then I, I mean, my college friends would leave and go to like our friends river house on the weekend and be like, you’re coming, right? And I wouldn’t go. I was editing, I was shooting, I was making $2,500 in a day. And I remember when my checks would come to that dorm room, we lived in a house, but when it came to the college house, they’d be on the table and be like, Guys, I just got another deposit. And at the time, the deposit would be anywhere from 250 to 500, or maybe even 1500 If they got her big package. And my college roommates thought that was insane that I got a check from someone for $1,500. And I was going to be getting more from them. Once I shot the wedding, like right before the wedding. So I remember just I was living in two worlds. I was living in the carefree college world where you’re not responsible for anything. And life is just a free for all right, and acting like a very responsible small business owner. And I enjoyed it. It was there was a tension there for sure. I and I sacrifice there’s relationships that we still talk about now that like Where were you are junior senior year you weren’t around, and I wasn’t I was working. But I am almost 15 to 20 years ahead of a lot of my peers. There’s a cost. A huge cost. There’s a cost. Yes.

Natalie Franke
Right. Yeah. But to the headline we love to celebrate. I think very often we don’t acknowledge that. Yeah. Because I had a very similar experience to I started my business out of high school and throughout college. You know, I was the one where they just stopped inviting me Yes. Oh, because they knew I was going to be taking the train home to work that so single week, and

Katelyn James
then a bummer when you’re like, and I’m seeing things that I didn’t even get a text about. I used to get a text about these things.

Natalie Franke
And when I would ask, you know, it’s like, oh, no, but we knew you’d be too busy.

Katelyn James
Yeah. And you have to be like, you’re right. I still want to be invited, though.

Natalie Franke
I know that there is a cost is it’s a hard cost. Yeah. And it doesn’t necessarily even go away. It just changes I think, as you grow in business. Would you agree with that?

Katelyn James
Yes. Oh, it definitely it. It evolves into something new. And I think what was hard, and I’ve actually never put these pieces together until now. But I think the sacrifice for me once I got married, it seemed like Well, now, all those friends that I’m living with, like the pressures not right in front of me. But what I didn’t realize is that my workaholism and my, you know, and that makes it sound bad. It was bad. I was addicted to getting stuff done. But there’s, there’s a healthy way to do that. And there’s a grind and a a hustle phase that has to happen, right? I think instead of it being Oh, I’m not hanging out with college friends, I wasn’t aware of what I was missing out with Michael. In our newlyweds, it was more. It was easier to say, hey, I’ll be down in an hour to watch our show. And then three hours later, he’s in bed and I’m like, Oh, it’s okay. He was tired. But as someone who feels loved by quality time, that was a miss. And I didn’t realize it was a miss until we had extreme disconnection. Because that was our pattern. One more minute, turns into 30. Just a quick, I need like an hour, and then I’ll be done. And then he’s moved on to something else. Like he’s in bed, or he’s he’s like, Oh, I’m just gonna go like meet my family do something that we went through years of that, and where he very clearly didn’t feel like the priority. I said, once, I don’t think we should go on vacation. Like, I’ll just get so behind. And to this day, that comes up, that conversation comes up. And we’ve spent five, six years pouring into our marriage, because not because anything got scary close, like we were never, nothing serious was going to happen. But it was serious in that underlying he didn’t feel important because my business was so important. And so that is that’s a sacrifice I made. And I’m not proud of that sacrifice. There’s other sacrifices I am proud of like, you know, I am consistent. And I stayed with my systems and they paid off. Super proud of that. Not proud of when it started to affect my family. So can you grow something that’s big? And just have to say like, I’m just going to be unhealthy if I’m going to have something as big as what she’s built? No, I think there were ways that I could have been more aware because I’m doing it now. Right? And yes, it’s at scale, but I’m constantly innovating and I’m still creating content and I’m still doing things, but it does look very different than she works four hours a day and there she yet multimillionaire just happens like no, there’s a lot of backstory there.

Natalie Franke
Well, when you brought up you know, you even had a moment where you’re like, I can’t go we shouldn’t go on vacation because I’m going to fall behind. When you’re saying that. I got the feeling that you were thinking that’s something that you’re like, I can’t believe I did that. That’s a universal I hear it all the time in the world. Do I hear business owners all the time, I just saw our friend hope post,

Katelyn James
I just saw this took her laptop on our honeymoon, she almost

Natalie Franke
took her laptop on her honey, so proud of you hope that you didn’t do that. I’m so proud of you. But all of your older sisters would be like Cofrin. Don’t do what we did. We’ll call you out on that. But the truth is, every business owner, I believe, is even in seasons of success. It is hard for us to find the line between where the business starts and ends. And where we start and end. It is hard for us to feel like we can put it down it is hard. Because when it isn’t just a job, meaning I’m not just clocking in and clocking out, but it’s a piece of my identity. It’s linked to my greater purpose. Yes, I see it being a legacy I’m going to leave behind.

Katelyn James
That’s hard. It is hard. It’s almost easier to say, I’m just going to have this nine to five job that pays the bills, but at least my identity is separate. How do you do this whole thing? Where your purpose in a lot of weight? No, I’m a mother. And that is my deeper, that’s my calling in life. But I also have another call I have I’m like a multifaceted, purposeful person, which we all are, how do you run a business that impacts lives, and does have a part of who you are built into it? Right? It sometimes seems like, well, maybe I should just do something. I don’t care about that deeply. Because this is so hard to balance. I get it. I lived it. It’s one of the pain points that the article didn’t hit on and it couldn’t hit on that. Right. Right. That’s the thing about the article was, it was my first introduction to the world of Hey, guys, my business is bigger than you think. Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed. But should I be embarrassed? No. But part of not being embarrassed is explaining I worked so hard to get here. Right? And the sacrifice was deep and it was wide. And I can’t fit all that into an article. So

Natalie Franke
and it can so quickly lead to burnout. Yes. Is that something that you have experienced in your business? Yes, let’s talk about

Katelyn James
it many times. I, I think my burnout in my business is happened multiple times. But there was one season where it was intense to the point where I said, I have nothing left to give. Like I have nothing left in me. And that was two years ago. It was in August, actually, I was feeling this way leading up to it. So August is a month that I decided to take off my coach was basically like, you aren’t allowed to say, definitely, I have nothing left to give when you haven’t created a space to even determine if that’s true. And and during the season of burnout. What I realized was that burnout came from believing a lot of reoccurring thoughts, soundtracks patterns in my life that weren’t necessarily true. So like, for example, one storyline that I told myself was, it’s all on me, it is all on me. My whole family depends on me. If I don’t create something new, everyone’s gonna suffer. Bite my mom and dad’s health insurance. Like if my mom is gonna be able to pay for her foot surgery, which he desperately needs. The health insurance bill comes to me and the business pays like it is an incredible amount of pressure. And I let that just overtake me. And then my coach was so great. She was like, Caitlin, let’s just unravel that one soundtrack that you have. Is it actually true? I’m like, yes. It’s called Caitlin James photography. It’s true. It’s my face, I have to show up. And she said, Do you know how to log into the backend of your business? And I said, No. And she said, so you’re probably selling courses right now, as we’re talking. If that system breaks or disconnects or something, are you going to fix it? And she was like, I said, No, I’m, I don’t even know how to miss my sister’s job. She’s like, right? So is it true that it is 100% on you the way you make money? Is that all on you? It’s actually not accurate. But it is a story that I believe because my brain wants to prove that I’m right. Like I because then I get to sit in the victim story. Like Woe is me. I don’t know what else to do, but that I got stuck there for so long. And I needed someone to help me unravel what is true and what is not. And that was not true. So then I moved on to the next story. And the next story that I made up that was not true was that people have such high expectations of me. And I can’t live up to him. So when she told me when our coach was like, just you need to take a month off, minimum month long sabbatical do not work. You need this. Your body’s telling you your mind is telling you you need this. So it took a month off. And I thought our students are going to be so upset. I’m not going to be in the Facebook group. I’m not going to be responding to their comments. I’m not going to create content for them. Our YouTube stats are going to plummet. I’m not I believe all these things. Well, what else could be possible? Well, everyone in our community praised me. The thing that I thought was gonna make me seem like I don’t care was the thing that my audience needed from me. They started saying things like, I needed to see you take a break because I watch everything you do. You work so hard. You get If you’re giving yourself a break gave me permission to take a break. So, so the full story of burnout for me is that you can sit in this place of, I’ve got nothing left to give. And in the very statement of saying, I’ve got nothing left to give, the reality is me listening to what I needed, was releasing freedom for an entire community of people, and releasing freedom to me, I came back from that month off with so many ideas that my team was overwhelmed with me. They left, I walked away them being like, Oh, she’s losing it, she’s done this, we’re gonna shut the whole ship down. And I came back on fire again. And I, it just goes to show like our minds are powerful, we can convince ourselves of absolutely anything. And then we subconsciously look for ways to confirm that we are true that we’re right about all of our thoughts about ourselves. And if you just step away for a minute, you start to realize there’s a lot more there. I wasn’t done. I was on it. Quite honestly, I think I’m just getting started. I love that. Yeah.

Natalie Franke
I love that. Confirmation bias is so powerful. You’re right, you will find what you look for. Yes. And if you are looking for a T shirt, yeah, you will. Yeah. If you’re looking for evidence for why you’re falling behind or falling short or not able to live up to these expectations that I call it the shoulds. I hate the word show. Yeah, who you should be how you should Yes, shaming, you’re gonna see it everywhere. You see evidence for that everywhere. But the same is true of the opposite as well. Yes. Right is a maturity of the opposite.

Katelyn James
Yes, we were recently talking about this with our communities freaking out about AI. Right. Yeah. And so I’m trying to help in our, in my personal growth, this has been the story of my life. As I grow personally, I just duplicate that into who I’m pouring into as a business owner. So what’s interesting is, when you’re burned out, you’re normally not growing. So then when you’re not growing, you have no content to share. It’s just a vicious cycle. And you have to stay healthy in order to be able to help be a healthy leader. So they’re talking about AI, and I just did a podcast episode where I talked about how the opportunity that AI gives us an opportunity to check your mindset. Because for me, I’m like, Oh, my gosh, looking at this stuff. I’m like, Yeah, I think our industry is going down the hole like it’s going to be trashed. But then I realized, you know, what, what if another possibility, another soundtrack to believe would be that AI is going to make people desperate for authenticity? And what am I good at? What did people said that I’m good at? I mean, I hope I’m good at it. People have said before, that authenticity is one of the reasons why they love learning from me. So if authenticity is going to be the rarity in our industry, then maybe there’s actually a lot of opportunity for growth. But that mindset about just a simple concept like AI, it comes back to where’s your headspace? And and do you have the tools to be able to break down the soundtracks, these lies that you’re believing? So one of the greatest things I’ve learned as a business owner, that’s growing and innovating and burning out and then coming back is the tool of being able to parent my own thoughts to take your thoughts captive, which we’ve we’ve talked about before, like, how can you actually grab hold of a thought and not let it spiral? Right? And that sounds I’m not going down the train of like, just manifest whatever you want, it will happen. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying a human being that is driven, has to be a human being that can control what happens up here. We are in control. I know sometimes in rare circumstances, it you get in the loop, we’ve experienced that in our own family, right? Where you need some help to get the Yes, you’ve got to have to help. So there are some situations where it gets out of control. But for me, I had the power to pull myself back in. And I needed someone to teach me how to do that. And I and they did. So crazy.

Natalie Franke
I love that and with the AI thing too. I mean, it’s it’s so interesting. I was listening to you speak recently about the subnet. You know, we talked about you built a wedding photography business. You should Caitlin actually photograph my wedding. For folks. I

Katelyn James
know, way back. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Okay, I have this is this is an idea have don’t lose your train of thought. I was like that was so long ago. I love your bread odd or something. They’re beautiful, but they’re way too warm. A couple of times to re edit them for you. I am gonna do it for YouTube episode. I’m probably like one of the

Natalie Franke
AI tools. Do it have imagined ai do it perfect partner with them and make it hard for you to that’s great. Oh my gosh, no, it was a beautiful day. It was a great day. But that was 10 years ago. So you built this amazing, you know, photography business. You moved into education. You’ve been doing education. And that really is kind of the the core of where this article came from. You’ve experienced the seasons of burnout, but you really have built something exceptional. And I remember reading something there’s like two things I want to touch on one you said you know this education world it changes every six months, every six months. There’s something new coming out. Yes. And I Think that we often overlook the need as independent business owners to be open to change? Oh, it’s hard. It is hard and AI really became, you know, it almost I think illuminated for us not that change is an inevitable part of life. Because we know that if you run a business, right, you know that yes, but that the rate of change, the pace of change is about to accelerate to a degree that perhaps we’ve never experienced, or Yes, like, do you remember when we were photographing weddings back in the beginning and we needed a map? To get to the wedding?

Katelyn James
Yes. And if you don’t have your printed out map, how are you going to get there?

Natalie Franke
You couldn’t. And then we got Mapquest or we found old we do we sound ancient. So you could at one point, you could actually print out the street by street turns, but if you missed an intersection, Oh, yeah. Good luck. Your heart would be sweating. Yeah, I would be shaking. I was like, that’d be anxiety came from it. It was an absolutely so much MapQuest, I’m gonna send you a bill for my therapy, my last round of therapy. But but the truth is, like, I never could have Fathom at that point that I would have a cell phone in my pocket that would not only route me to a place I’m going, but then if there’s a speed trap, it would tell me, Oh, if there’s traffic, it would give me a different way to get there. My point being Yes, change is inevitable. Oh, yes. And the rate of it’s increasing, but the mindset you have about it is what I’m hearing from you. It’s the mindset and what you’re telling yourself, whether it’s AI, whether it’s new tech tools, whether it’s Yeah, new equipment that’s coming out, oh, it is

Katelyn James
so easy. It’s easy to default to fear, yes. Because fear is rooted in self protection. And we are as humans, we want to self protect. And so instead, so we, it’s got to be a choice. There’s not a lot of people that choose to trust and to be innovative. First, our mind goes, my mind went to fear first. I’m like, if I shoot a wedding a big spring, and my clients are like, I want an AI generated Rocky Mountain background, not Blue Ridge mountain background. I mean, if people start doing that, then house buddy, who owns the business owns a wedding venue? What’s he going to do when people come and say, where are these mountains? Right? That’s crazy. That was my first thought. Interesting. But now, now that I’ve set taking a step back, and like, how can I use this in not in negative ways in positive ways, there’s gotta be a way. And that’s when I had the thought of like, if people are going to start craving authenticity, then maybe our art as photographers will actually be something people seek out. I think there will be people that will say, No, I want it to really look like my wedding. Genuinely. We’ve seen

Natalie Franke
that throughout history, if you even think about the fact that Gen Z loves record players and film cameras. Yeah. And they’re like, now there are even digital cameras that are coming out that create digital images that automatically look like film to give you my point being we do crave what is real, we will always crave what is real. And so I also err on the side of believing that we’re AI is going to be really beautiful. This is what I tell myself is that it’s going to allow us to be more human. Yeah, what it will actually do. Yeah, is give us if we choose Yeah, and we have to this is also why we’ve got to be leaning into it because it doesn’t just we’re not at a stage where it’s creating itself, humans are creating it, right. So if you’re not engaging with new technology, you’re also not able to lead the conversations about it, you’re not able to react and help build it. But the point being that my hope is, AI is going to be something that actually enables us to be more human. And those business owners and independents in particular, while certain jobs will change, while the roles we do day to day will shift, right? And they already are shifting right. The experiences that we create the beauty and the humaneness that only we can offer this world will be even more valuable.

Katelyn James
Oh, 100%. Yes. And if you start to view it from that perspective, it’s exciting. It’s not intimidating. Right.

Natalie Franke
Right. It is exciting. I mean, even gosh, we’re announcing, you know, we just announced by the time this, this comes out that, you know, our development team in HoneyBook has been building AI tools. And one of the tools that they’ve been working on now for over a year is a predictive leads tool where our technology can actually tell you what leads are going to book you before you’ve even responded to them. Oh my gosh, like when I tell you so like a predictive lead can tell you it’s like two times more profitable. If we flag it 30% That the stat is just out. We’ll link in the show notes. But my point being, it’s also going to help you as the business owner to stop having to do things that you shouldn’t be doing. Like you talked about systems multiple times and how you’ve built this. Yes, yeah. And I want to lean into that a little bit, too. I heard a little rumor. And by that I mean, I know when you launched your first course. Yes. Now you had been building systems to do this. Yeah. And that’s what I want to make sure we click on here for years and years and years. But when you launched your first course, or do did over you did six figures on your first course launch.

Katelyn James
Yes, in a weekend. I think we did like 70 grand in the first like few hours was insane. And this was not recently this was 2015 Okay, maybe even 2014. So back in the day. That was big money back then.

Natalie Franke
It’s pretty open up at that point. Yes. Oh, we that on a course launch.

Katelyn James
Oh, it was unheard of. And I mean, I was shocked. I mean, I joke about my dad opened the door and like, Daddy, I think I made $70,000 Like in the last hour, and he’s like, you’ve been duped, you, you this is not real. People can’t do that, right. But that came from, I always tell people that want to be educators, you have to either be. But there’s two things, the two to two G’s, you’ve got to you’ve got to be great at what you do, you’ve got to master it, you’ve got to be amazing, exceptionally great at what you do. Because if you don’t do exceptionally well, you don’t have content to share that’s going to innovate and help you just going to regurgitate what someone else has already taken teaching. So you got to be great at what you do. And you have to be able to give. And if you’re able to give and you enjoy giving if you are a giver, you will be an extremely successful educator. And that’s what I did for eight years. I was consistently blogging and giving and giving for free and I loved it like I would leave a wedding and like how can I put into a really catchy something like why my posing works, power praise precision three piece of posing, I put in a blog post, and I like I thrived off of creating content like that. And so I did that for so long for it so consistently that the photographer’s that were learning from me when I came out with that course. And I offered them a chance to pay me back for what they had learned. I mean, it was a no brainer. We no one was upset with that course, no one complained, everyone was just so grateful. And I remember having a lot of thoughts like I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve this. And one of my good friends, Amy Deimos was like you’re getting paid for years of giving with no payment. Like you’re finally getting reimbursed for your giving heart. And at first I didn’t believe her but but as we’ve moved away from that season, I’m like, I do think that’s what happened. And so being the perfectionist that I am, I moved away from that season, like how can we make the next one better? How can we make the next how can we give some more and giving right in the season we’re in now, our new lead generation is because Tyler said, Caitlin, you need a YouTube channel. And so he built together. I mean, it’s my face, but it’s his system. But we built a YouTube channel. And that has allowed me to reach and give and give and give. And that is brought a new sense of direction to what we do as far as education because we were lost for a season we had a season of I had all these children. So grateful for them, and I love them. But I lost. I lost the way I gave I was giving to my children, I still do. But I couldn’t figure out how to give to the community. I couldn’t find time to blog, I couldn’t find time to get So YouTube has created a way for me to go back to my roots and give again, and guess what has happened. Numbers have skyrocketed.

Natalie Franke
Reciprocity is one of the most powerful foundational principles, you know, when you give somebody something, you’re immediately initiating that relationship. And, you know, we all know, like know, and trust is so critical to purchasing decisions. But yes, it’s it’s as simple as that. You You had such success and that initial course launch. Yes. Because the material was great. Yes, because you built the systems, you had the email list going you had set the foundation. And you had given for years and years and years and years and showed up and blogged and, and shared what you were doing. And also, you know, we didn’t even touch on this. But that’s during a season when that was not the norm in our industry. It was the opposite, right?

Katelyn James
It was. So when I first started, we actually just found a note from my first one of my first computers that my mom’s using now. It was a note where I literally a sticky note on a Mac laptop where I had written out 2009 goals, and 2009 So it was a year and a business. I mean, you could tell I was literally this was just a note for myself. And I was using exclamation marks like just want to make sure you see how excited I am. I was crazy. So anyway, I look at this list. And there’s hilarious things like I wanted a window decal for my car. That’s how I thought marketing was going to happen. I mean for Kaitlyn, we can laugh at it now. So I wanted a window decal but I also wanted to shoot 35 weddings and I want to do host workshops and I wanted to so my I had a vision back then, of things that I it’s like I knew I could go somewhere. I just didn’t know where I was going. And I was doing workshops and I thought, okay, if I could do 25,000 per workshop four times a year, that’s a six figure business within a business. And I just kept creating those different revenue streams. And I look at that goals list now. And I think to myself, like, wow, I’ve come so far. But when I started doing those workshops when I started offering to teach, that’s when I started getting pushback from the current industry leaders. People were industry leaders because they were famous. They weren’t industry leaders because they were givers. that that’s a huge shift. So sweet friend, sweet friend of mine, but she was 10 years ahead of me in photography, she would say to me, Oh, you’re getting into that workshop thing and roll her eyes, like you’re gonna give. And now I’m like, yep, gotten to that workshop big, and it really paid off. And I’ve changed people’s lives. I wasn’t just pursuing fame for myself. And I and that’s what that’s the legacy that I want. And so it’s, I’ve said this before, and I feel like I’m rambling. But it just gets so excited about this stuff. I think there’s something so beautiful, when you can take your passion, like photography, your gift, and then Pair it with changing people’s lives, and then see some profit from it and then see an overarching purpose in your life. That is the beautiful gift I’ve been given in what I’m doing. And I’m constantly trying to seek out how does that evolve into the next, like, what’s my purpose in the next season? What’s the gift that I’m going to share with the world next, and change people’s lives? So reciprocity, giving in a time where giving wasn’t cool, pushing the envelope doing that was actually it’s sad, but it was actually innovative back in 2009, to share what you knew it was

Natalie Franke
very it was controversial. Yes, like innovative make it palatable. Yes. It was controversial. People were upset.

Katelyn James
Oh, yes. Because we were going to change an industry. They What they didn’t realize that the industry was going to change no matter what. So if they had latched on to the there are so people in this city right now that are still doing things the same old way. And I mean, you can be a successful photographer, and still help your fellow peers in the industry. Are you going to build a multimillion dollar education, business? Maybe not. But you could support your family in a new way and make friends just worth it to be nice, just be a nice person.

Natalie Franke
I even would go as far as to say, I think the independent business owners who build their business on a foundation of showing up and supporting one another will be the ones that stand the test of time. And we’ve seen this I mean, you look through even the last couple of years, you know, we’ve had a pandemic season, we’re now experiencing a recessionary period in the economy. We’ve had hurdle after hurdle and struggle after struggle, business and personal all of us Yes. And what I remember very, very vividly when it was like March 10 2020. And the world was suddenly shutting down. And our world the service based business world suddenly goes away, there’s gonna be no services, because they’re gonna be no no events. And there was immediate panic. And what I witnessed in that moment, was this coming together this moment of, okay, what are we going to do? And we, I mean, we dropped everything we actually we all took pay cuts that HoneyBook the whole company agreed to take pay cuts, so not a single person would get laid off, even though our members weren’t making money. Because again, the beautiful thing about this business is HoneyBook only wins when businesses win. Yeah, if businesses don’t win, we don’t win. And that’s, that is an ethical alignment I’m so passionate about. So when all of the business revenue got cut off, as a company, we said we’re going to take pay cuts, because we don’t want to if we can avoid it, we’re gonna do whatever we would have to do. And we’re gonna stop business as usual. And we literally I started asking, I started going to different community leaders and saying, Okay, what can we offer and we had, you know, a finance expert, Dominique Broadway coming on and talking about okay, if you’re strapped for cash, here are your options. Stuff, she charges 1000s of dollars to teach. She was given for free, Paige Griffith coming in with, okay, you need, you know, this specific type of clause now for your contract act yourself. Yeah. And we’d never even heard of a force majeure. At that point. None of us were like force majeure. What does that mean? What language is that? And she went as far as to say, give it away? Yes. Give it all away. Because we are in this together? Yes. Because even if you compete with me, we are also and more importantly, perhaps the community. Yes. And it’s that spirit. And it

Katelyn James
goes back to like, you know, someone could twist your words and say, you have to make money. You can’t just give and give and give, and your right, right. But what you’re at the heart of what you’re saying is, is that and it’s what I’m saying, if you live to give, you are going to expand your business and you’re going to grow. It’s just a natural consequence of having a heart that that is natured that way, and so I love that I didn’t know that but honey book, but I love that. I mean, yeah, we love honey book. We love them even more when you tell stories like that. Yeah.

Natalie Franke
Well, I want to I want to take a little bit of a step towards a conversation that we actually chatted about prior to turning the cameras on. And it’s about pressure. There’s a lot of pressure. There’s a lot of pressure, because I can only imagine, you know, yes, you’ve had phenomenal business success. You have a seven figure business, you’re doing multi seven figure business. We’re not talking like you just had a million multi seven figure business, recurring streams of revenue. How many team members do you have now?

Katelyn James
It’s a good question. So myself, yep. My sister is the CEO. runs the whole thing, right? I mean, she can’t live without her. My sister in law, Morgan. She literally looks just like me, but She’s not related to me, technically, she, she runs so much of the back end and customer support. We have a part time employee, Casey, who does community development. And then Michael is a part of it. But he has removed himself a lot, because we started a micro school for our children that celebrates entrepreneurial beginnings, which is awesome. That’s a whole nother conversation. So Michael’s removed himself a little bit, but he was doing a lot of fun. He’s still doing some financial things. Tyler, he technically, if we should put his face on the website, he’s not a salaried employee, but he could be. He’s like, Alright, guys, okay, I’ve been saying this for years. But he is the reason we have a YouTube channel. He’s the reason that our courses get filmed and filmed well. And he’s very much a team member. And then we have some contracted employees that serve things like, you know, ads, strategy and management, things like that. But when it comes to just our team, it’s still small, mighty, but they get paid very well. And there’s some people that have said, Oh, you’re killing it, you can just shut this down, like whenever you want, I’m like, No, that’s not how it works. Because you see numbers, but you don’t see how much it costs. And you don’t see the health insurance package, you don’t see, you know, the there are costs that come with hiring people. And the pressure is, and I was just talking with a friend about this, the pressure is that I have built something at a scale to where I can’t just say, I don’t want to do this anymore. It affects my family, right? It affects everybody. And you know, we joke my brother and my brother in law and sister building house right next to us in the woods, and we sold some of our land to them. And it’s beautiful. And, and I told my sister, I’m like, something I have to fight is as they every time I see a construction truck, go down your driveway. So noes have thoughts of like the business got to keep going because they have a new mortgage. Like that’s those are the things that I think about. And I’ve gotten to a place where I handle it in a much healthier way than I used to, because of my ability to catch the stories before they spiral. But I think I am trying to live into the I get to another I have I have twos and if God’s been faithful for 14 years, it might not look like the same income. It always has. It might fluctuate and dip. But I’m I know, I can trust that my business mind is not going to just shut down one day and not ever produce anything profitable again. But this is the tricky part, I feel like I’m flip flopping back and forth from positive to negative. The tricky part is when you build a multi million dollar business, if you want to pivot it and you want to do something else, it’s not going to be a multi million dollar pivot waiting for you. It’s going to be at the beginning again. And I can’t shut down. And I don’t want to. But if you talk to any business owner, this level that doesn’t want to be acquired. I don’t have I can’t be acquired, I maybe could but I don’t want to be if you want to keep the legacy going over here, but you want to build something else. This has to keep going to pay the team that’s running it. And it’s at a scale where it can’t just be like cut in half. Right. So that’s my struggle.

Natalie Franke
Well, you almost have to side hustle your way into new ventures.

Katelyn James
Yes. Which I am, which I love. Coming back to the CNBC article on side hustle. It is a side hustle, I

Natalie Franke
didn’t realize it. They were writer more correct than we thought. Yeah, no, I, I it’s it’s so true. And I think you know that pressure is something that personally like in my own journey has really been a challenge because we talked about that fountain of inspiration and creativity. And, you know, the brain can’t be both creative and open minded and terrified and feeling the pressure at the same time.

Katelyn James
Right. It’s like, the greatest challenge and entrepreneurs mind between the two. How can you be the person innovating and creating and the person run by fear? You can’t have both. That’s hard.

Natalie Franke
It is hard, but it’s so deeply universal. It’s so universally it’s your most

Katelyn James
Yeah, it’s it’s so human. And I none of my great ideas have come from a place where I was sitting down with a notebook fretting about is the next launch going to be six figures or not? Are we going to be able to bring on that new person we need to bring on? Do we have to cut back here. None of my ideas that have made me money came from places of fear. It’s come from places of i Oh, there’s it’s just flowing. It’s just flowing. I’m not thinking anything about the money. I’m thinking about what’s the what is the need and how can I serve people? And that’s how I make money. But if I focus on the money the money doesn’t come

Natalie Franke
that right there might be the golden lesson in entrepreneurship.

Katelyn James
Yeah, we can shut it all down. We’re done. We’re done all we needed podcasters ever

Natalie Franke
know but I mean the knee because you even at one point were like you didn’t want to launch presets. Yes, I didn’t want to launch presets. Why? Why did you what was like the indicator that the market was begging for it?

Katelyn James
Our consultants said it’s like I’m doing some research and SEO wise the number two search result on Google for Caitlyn James is Caitlyn James presets. So think about all these people, potentially hundreds a day are searching In for your presets and coming up with nothing. So why don’t you pay attention to what people need and want from you? Instead of thinking about, you know, oh, I don’t know I was. Sometimes we can be a little prideful. I’m like, everyone has presets, I don’t want to do presets. And I truthfully did, I do have a standard for myself that I don’t want to replicate just what everyone else is doing. I really struggle with that, to the point where it’s probably a fault in my business mind. But I wanted to do presets differently. And so I took some time and I reached out to my best friend Jill helped me develop because she’s done this before. And I just created an approach to presets. It’s different. It’s not a one click. It’s a four step process that teaches people the power of step by step manual editing, but it automates it. It’s very interesting. So I launched that, put it out in the world thinking off, here we go, we’ll see what happens $500,000 In the month of November of the year, we launched half a million dollar product. Great. That’s a this is what’s crazy. That’s a business in and of itself, right? The preset process could be a standalone business. And I didn’t want to do it because I had all these crazy lies I was believing about, oh, that’s not my thing. Oh my gosh, I am. I have a hot mess of an entrepreneur. That’s what I am an entrepreneur

Natalie Franke
period, because it’s why this is so important. Because this is this is the wrestle of it. This is the real, this is what it’s really like. And so many business owners see the CNBC headline and keep scrolling with their day saying, well, that’s great for her. But she’s not feeling what we’ve talked about for the last 40 minutes in this Congress. Oh, yes, I feel at all. And that’s part of like, what inspires the work I do. I’m like, we need to normalize these conversations to lift each other up and know that this is all part of the process, the showing up to a craft show with your plates, and having no one by a single one showing up to a book signing and having no one show. I mean, I had like five people show up to one one. And, you know, it’s so easy to get defeated. But then I also remember seeing a picture of Jon Acuff share has shared this a couple of times, yes, I love it, when he shares that, you know, are talking about where he’s sitting in an empty, empty looks

Katelyn James
like someone just like ran over his dog. It’s so sad. It is so sad. And then he’s speaking on stage in front of 1000s.

Natalie Franke
It’s about the journey, and it’s about being able to pursue it and never give up. There is one question, I end every episode by asking. And there’s no right or wrong answer. But it is such a question that I love, because I think it reveals how each of us interpret success in our businesses. And so I’d be really curious to know, for you, Caitlin, what do you think, is the thing that differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail?

Katelyn James
You really end with a a hard one? I think the businesses that succeed in from my perspective, I think they have vision beyond the bottom line. I think they have purpose. And maybe statistically, this would prove me wrong, right? Because there’s always people that can have a business with no heart. And people are, you know, duped into buying from something that they don’t really believe in. And I’m sure there’s exceptions. But that also goes back to what what is success. Because success for me, someone said recently, we buy raw milk from farm out and Lexington, cream Brook Farms. And we were actually with the owner the other day, and we were talking about business. And he’s like, it seems like everybody just when a business become about acquisition, he’s like, when did that become a thing, you build a business just to get it sold, make a lot of money. He’s like, I thought you built a business, to serve your family and to serve your life and to do something you’re passionate about make money doing it. And I’m like, You’re right. You are so right. And so if that is success, then it does have to be rooted in purpose, and how you’re changing people’s lives, which is all rooted in the vision of it. So maybe I am right, maybe this is maybe this is what I truly believe. I do think that it has, you have to have a vision that goes beyond yourself. And if that is true, then people attach on to that. And sometimes I think people attach on to that before they even know why they’re attracted to you. We’ve had people say this before, they will say things like, I found you on YouTube. And I don’t know why but I just keep watching all your stuff. And then they’ll see one video or hear me explain one thing and they’re like I resonate with you, thank you for caring about what you’re doing. And I do, I think that is at the heart of a business owner. I think ultimately, it’s when their purpose aligns with their passion, which is what I aim to do with the rest of my business running yours.

Natalie Franke
And what’s funny is that that is truly the mission statement like a life built on passion and purpose is literally a mission statement that we have and we hold very dear. This has been so incredible, and I just want to thank you for sharing so vulnerably being open. I have no doubt that listeners are going to want to connect with you further. Where are some of the places that they can go To learn about everything that we have today, where can they find you?

Katelyn James
That’s a great question. So I always preface this with like, if you want the tech but non tech version of kJ with photography, education that is very YouTube heavy. So we have a YouTube channel that we love, and are, you know, consistently putting new content on Instagram is where you see the most real life, our children, our family, our life, what we’re learning our marriage, and the podcast is where I get to talk about all things business in life and where the kind of the beautiful collision of all those worlds come into play. So there’s podcasts, Instagram, there’s YouTube, and it is been an honor. I love you. I’ve loved you since I met you years and years ago, since I got to shoot your wedding. This has just been I’m proud of you for what you’re doing. And for the ways that you’re using your passion is evident that this is what you love. And that’s what we’re talking about finding your passion and changing the world with it. So I’m honored that I got to be a part of it.

Natalie Franke
Caitlin, thank you so much. We will link all of that in our show notes. And I just again, thank you from the bottom welcome. You’re welcome.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening

Episode 19 Transcript: How I turned one TikTok video into 100k email subscribers

Natalie Franke
Today on the podcast, we are talking to Tori Dunlap. She is a financial expert, The New York Times best selling author of financial feminist, and an incredible creator on platforms like Tiktok. And Instagram. In this interview, we talked about how she turned a single tick tock video into over 100,000 email subscribers, what the systems look like behind the curtain behind her business, and some money myths that you might be telling yourself that we need to debunk immediately. This episode is packed with information that frankly, you need to know because so much of the time we see that top of the iceberg as I say in our conversation, and not what lies beneath Tori shares at all, and I can’t wait for you to dig in and learn a little bit more about everything that she has built on her first 100k Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.

Natalie Franke
Tory, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today.

Tori Dunlap
Thank you so much, Natalie, for having me. I’m so excited to see you. Oh, well, I feel like

Natalie Franke
I see you every day because you’re on my FYP every time I open tic toc. And every time I’m hitting that like button as fast as I can. I absolutely love it. And when we were chatting a little bit before jumping on the recording, you know, I said one of the things I love about you is that you Yes, you’ve built a massive online community, you know, you have over 2 million followers on Tiktok, you have such an incredible presence on Instagram, among other places. And yet, I know having watched even from a distance and getting to know you, especially with the past couple of weeks and months. It’s it’s like an iceberg, right? Like what people see is just the 20% at the top of the water that you have cultivated that community by providing so much value behind the scenes. And so my hope is in this pack is like I’d love to peel back the curtain a little bit, I would love to kind of peel back the curtain into what does that really look like to build a business that, you know, again, business owners fall into this trap of thinking, if I just build a following, I’m going to have a successful business. And I say Trump, because I do I think it’s a myth. But to actually build a strong business to build funnels that provide value to build systems that enable you to really serve that community. Well. Can we peel back the curtain a little bit? Like, what does that really look like for you? And what has it been like truly exploding and growing your business? On tick tock?

Tori Dunlap
Yeah, you just summed up entrepreneurship in the perfect metaphor, which is an iceberg, like, I think there’s so much that happens behind the scenes that no one knows. And especially not if you’re just like a general follower of somebody that you have any idea what’s happening. And like how much goes into, just like the naming of a podcast episode, or like the Hulk gonna like one video that you make? And then oh, spoiler alert, you’re making three videos a day. So yeah, there’s there’s so much work that happens. I think one of the myths that new, especially new business owners fall into is they think, okay, I can grow on social media, by selling my products. Like, I can create a community and that word gets thrown around a lot. But like, I can create community, I can grow my following by selling my products. And I would say 99 times out of 100. That’s not true. My biggest business ethos is that you need to serve before you sell. And that service means providing value to people in order to build a community, but also in order to build trust and credibility and a relationship with somebody. And then when they feel like oh, this person is credible, this person is offering me value, I feel like I can trust them, then they will buy from you. But people do it in the reverse order. They’re like, Okay, I’ll just create a product and then I’ll sell the product and then people will follow me because they like the product. And like, maybe Nike can do that. But like Nike already has, like, you know, the brand and the trust behind the brand. And Nike has been at this for a really long time. And I think that’s the other myth, in addition is that everybody looks like an overnight success because you discovered them last night. And the amount of people who are so kind and they’ll follow me and they’ll be like, Oh, I’ve never heard of you like Where have you been in? Oh, you’ve been blowing up and I’m like, Yes, but I’ve been at this for like seven years like we started on Tik Tok in mid 2020. And a lot of people especially since you know, Tik Tok is our biggest platform people are like, Oh, so you just started on Tik Tok? No. Like, no, I had a business for four years before we like blew up on tick tock. And that meant I knew how to structure a video that meant I knew how to serve people. That meant I knew what my business ethos was, what were our secret sauce was and how to present that. So I think that is the other misconception is It’s like somebody discovers somebody, and they’re like, oh, that, you know, they must have just blown up. And I’m like, no, like, typically, we’ve been at this for years cultivating our brand, cultivating our voice cultivating why we are different, like our value proposition versus somebody else. So I think that those are a couple of the things that I wish people talked about more. I know we’ll get into this. But the last thing that I think is so tantalizingly, sexy is morality. And people think, oh, I want my post to go viral, right? I want to go viral, and tick tock, I want to go viral on this platform, right. And virality is great. It’s happened to me countless times. However, virality, with no systems in place to take advantage of that morality is a huge wasted opportunity. virality is not the thing you should be chasing virality is the thing that with systems builds your business, and you have to cultivate those systems and plan for something way before you’ve ever like, created and posted the viral video. And I know we’re going to talk about that. So don’t chase morality, just for morality sake, like it’s fun, to go viral and to like, see all the notifications come in and to get pressed and all of those things, but that will fade, right? Probably in days, maybe even hours. So you need to take advantage of that. virality. And that’s in the systems that you’re quietly building in the iceberg right down below the water that nobody sees.

Natalie Franke
Yes, I couldn’t agree more. I think there’s so much to be said for the sexy parts of business, right? Like what we see. And we think, Oh, if I just have a viral Tiktok i I’ll be successful books are also Yeah, anything 100%. But I think there’s so much that goes into it even around Yes, the systems and why are you going viral in the first place, like I had videos pop off that didn’t actually move the needle at all, because they weren’t about something that my core audience really cares about. They popped off because I was talking about Paw Patrol. So like, Yay, all the toddler moms, like like myself, love that video, millions of views. But how many of them realistically run independent businesses? Right? Maybe not so many. So, you know, I think that that’s also something to take into account, I think it can be alluring, and really exciting. Yay. But you’re 100% hitting the nail on the head here. If you don’t have the systems, you’re basically just letting that veracity go to waste entirely and losing the true business opportunity that exists. So let’s double click in and talk about those systems. You know, I touched on early early, kind of in the the onset of this interview that people want to build a following, right, like they want that following. But so many business owners that I’ve seen, kind of stopped there. Like they’re, they’re basically renting land from Tik Tok and Instagram and all the platforms, and not building anything that they actually own. And so they’re leasing it. And then anytime an algorithm changes, you know, we’re beholden to that limitation on our reach, or that shift rather than growing something that we own. And so I would love to know from you, what does that look like? What you know, once someone does follow along, what’s the next step for you? Once they discover you on social? What are those systems behind them?

Tori Dunlap
Well, and before I even dive into that, I want to highlight the importance of what you just said, which, if you have been following along a business or entrepreneurship podcasts you’ve probably heard before, but it may be if you haven’t, that’s news to you. If you are trying to build a following on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Facebook, I don’t know Reddit, right? Twitter, all of these platforms are borrowed land, and Elon Musk can buy them and take the stock price tomorrow, right? The algorithm can change, you can get banned for no reason I’ve had multiple friends get banned on Tik Tok for like, stuff that makes no sense like that didn’t really violate, like, use user terms. And the thing about doing that right is yeah, you are building an audience that could hypothetically disappear tomorrow. Now that doesn’t mean don’t do it. It just means you need to diversify where your audience is and how they interact with you. So again, this might be news to some people, this might be redundant, but a funnel is the thing that I’m always thinking about. And we call it the customer journey funnel, right? It’s like, pretty obvious, but where are people moving? How are people discovering you first and then how are people moving from point A to B to C to D, right? And various points in that are conversions. Conversions can be defined as simply like they’ve clicked follow on an Instagram or they’ve signed up for my email list, but they can also be they’ve bought a product or they have renewed a subscription, right? That might be like number G or Are letter G on the funnel, right? So, when I am thinking about creating content on Tik Tok, when I’m thinking about creating content on Instagram, the primary use of that content is to see as many to get into many as many eyeballs as possible. But the really the, the point now, because we do have a substantial following is actually to get that following to give us their email. So, if I can get them off of Tik Tok, and I can get them subscribed to our email list, I can control an email list right that is building on my own land, because you know, everybody’s gonna get an email, whether they click right that’s that’s a different metric, different conversation about how to create emails where people click, but I’m getting them off of tick tock and onto land that we own, and that we can control in a way that we can’t wait tick tock or Instagram. It’s actually really funny. We were talking as a team about this. Literally, we’ve had just in the past week, like four people comment, oh, my God, I had no idea you had a book. I the books been out for six months, I feel like all I have done is yellow word book really, really loudly. It’s a New York Times bestseller, right? Like I feel like all I have talked about is the fact that I wrote a book. And yet, because of the algorithm, there are still people who have no idea that I have written a book, they have no idea and are just discovering almost six months later that I wrote a book. So that’s that’s the idea is right? The algorithm is showing maybe 3% of people your posts, and we want to get them off, right, the the, you know, tick tock hamster wheel where there’s just endless scrolling, and into a place that you control. Now, how do we do that? I was talking to you before you kindly messaged me, and you were like, hey, what do we want to talk about in this interview? And one of the things that I’m really proud of that, frankly, is still shocking to me. When I think about it. Back in 2021, I created a video on Tiktok. That probably took me all in from filming to editing 10 minutes, 15 minutes, maybe I was in like no makeup, a sweatshirt on the couch. The lighting was terrible. And I talked about how I was as a 26 year old going to retire with over $6 million. That was the hook. That was the like, you know, I will retire with over $6 million. And I’m only 26. Let’s talk that was the hook. And then I talked about like the common misconceptions of investing. Like you think you need a bunch of money? No, actually, you need time, right? You need as much time as possible to get started up, you need to be rich. Nope. That’s how you get riches investing. And then I did a really, really incredible thing if I do say so myself in the caption, which is I wrote, take the free quiz linked in our bio for personalized resources. Now we were talking about before, like virality is great, but you have to plan for virality. About four months before that. My team and I had spent time building what we call a money personality quiz. It is a free lead gen on our website, right? It is six questions. It’s like do you feel like you your values align with your purchases? Do you wish you had a new job? Are you are you in your dream job? What is your number one like stress about money right now? Is it I just don’t know where to start? Is it I have debt is it I want to start investing. And then in exchange for all your money personality, we ask for your email. So we get you to subscribe to our email list. And then we send you resources based on your needs. Right? It helps us serve you better, but also just from a business side. I’ve just gotten your email, right and I can send you a funnel of things that I know you care about because you filled out a quiz for me. Right? So I had spent with my team weeks building this. We have it in place. This video went viral by the way in 2021. This quiz still is working for us two years later. So I built this quiz with my team a couple of months prior. I had in the caption of this video said take the quiz. It’s free links in our bio video pops off. We got probably three or 4 million views in a week. Which is incredible. That’s the virality part right that was sexy and exciting. We got a bunch of followers we got a bunch of people commenting on the video and asking questions right we got people sharing the video. I had BuzzFeed reached out I had CNBC reached out I had CNN reached out I had all of this press that happened from it. So the virality was amazing. But the really cool part is that that one video in one week. Got us 100,000 email subscribers. Like that’s not that’s not a thing. Like I have a background in marketing. I could not believe that number. It like skyrocketed our website traffic. We weren’t even in Canada and that’s all organic. I did not pay a dime for that. Crazy. Now Wow. I have not seen similar I will say this has been a big asterisk. We have not had a video do similar numbers since then. Like that was the that is still our most bye URL video, but to again two years later, we are still seeing the impact of that one video that one time. One, I’ve reshard that video, it’s done similar, not as crazy numbers, but it’s still done good numbers, we still have those email subscribers, right, we still have probably 80% of them a good, you know, 20% may have unsubscribed at some point. But we have a good chunk of them who are still around two years later, we can continue to promote our podcast, my book, the product offerings, we have our affiliate links, right, we can continue to drive people to the things that we’re trying to promote, because of one video that did well, but really the systems that supported that video. So when you’re thinking about like, again, how do I grow a following? How do I make content that goes viral? That’s a great question. But I need you to ask that question after you’ve built systems to support that morality. Because yes, a viral video that just got a ton of views and a ton of followers and got us a ton of press would have been a win. But it was like a quadruple win. Because we sent so many people to our website, since so many people to convert to give us our email and for us to be able to serve them best.

Natalie Franke
This message is so needed, this message is so needed, I cannot tell you enough how often I get asked questions in regards to growing a following showing up on video creating, you know, a social media platform, which are great, they’re great questions I very rarely ever get asked about the most important part, which is what happens once someone comes

Tori Dunlap
because it’s what happened. Natalie isn’t it’s not sexy, it’s not exciting. Like we are literally her first 100k is a team, we have a team of 12 people. And that’s the thing a lot of people don’t realize they think it’s just me, which is crazy. But we have like literally this time this year, we’re recording this in June 2023. This is actually a time where we’re doing so much internal building that no one will ever see until we launch it. And unless you’re watching really closely, you won’t figure out we’re doing what we’re doing right like you won’t understand why we’re doing what we’re doing. So like we’re building these funnels for every single paid product that start with a free webinar, the free webinar is I run it live twice, people come in and they get value, even if they never decide they want to purchase anything, right. So they have a good experience, we get their email regardless, in order to have them sign up for the webinar. Then if they come into the webinar, at the end, we do a promotion and a discount for one of our paid products that we’re trying to drive people to, they either sign up or they don’t. And if they don’t, they go into a 30 day email funnel that tries to get them to subscribe. And then if they still don’t after those 30 days, well, I have a book. And that book has pretty much anything you need to know about money on the one on one level. So if you’re not willing to pay the $300 for the paid product, cool, we will down sell you the book that still puts money in our pocket and still makes an impact for people. And we are planning on doing that for the rest of the year doing one webinar or one free workshop every single month. Now we’re using social media to drive people to that, right, we’re using our Instagram and our tic toc and our existing email list to drive people to that. But we are spending time, so much time I email marketers spending so much time building emails, right? We’re spending so much time putting a landing page together, this isn’t the non sexy stuff. That ultimately is the reason you’re able to build a foundational sustainable business that isn’t dependent on an algorithm or isn’t dependent on one brand, or one client or one partner. So it’s the non sexy stuff. And it’s paired with the sexy stuff, right, you get the exciting things like creating content that hopefully does well and does numbers and makes an impact for people. But you have to pair it with the stuff that like nobody wants to talk about. Because it’s not sexy and fun.

Natalie Franke
I love this so much. And I’ll say to for any of the service based business owners that are listening to this, I want you to know that this applies to you as well. You don’t need to have a digital product or a book to have an email list. I think that’s a huge myth that I also come across, you know, I’ve seen some really profound and innovative strategies being done. Like I’ll use the wedding industry, for example. If you think about client acquisition in the wedding industry, I’ve seen really cool things like photo booths where, you know, if you’re at a wedding attending a wedding, and you go into a digital photo booth, you enter your email. And then you basically are opting in and there’s a little thing Oh, you opt in to get access to the gallery when it’s done. And you get access to you know, whatever other value again, like like Tori said value first, like leading with value, what am I going to give you in exchange for this email, but you have to remember, if someone’s attending a wedding, they’re attending a lot of other weddings, and when someone that they know is getting married, and they’re like, Hey, do you know anybody that does photography? Or do you know, they might even say, oh my gosh, you’re getting married. My friend had this photo booth at their event that did slo mo video of people and now they just have to pop into their inbox and find you or even better you’re top of mind because you’re sending out Different types of materials for them. So there’s so much value in understanding the power of email marketing for service based business owners to. I’m curious for you, Tory though how did you come up with the idea of a quiz as a lead capture option? And are there others that you’ve seen work well for your business or that you’ve explored?

Tori Dunlap
I stole it.

Natalie Franke
I still tell me more. I tell him, I

Tori Dunlap
will contextualize that. What is it? I think there’s a book right or something that’s like the best artists steal or something like that. It’s like Steal Like an Artist. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. There it is. This is the thing. Oh, gosh, I did a LinkedIn post about this a couple months ago. People who run successful businesses are giving you an MBA about how to run a business just by running their own business. Like if you watch people you admire, like, maybe I’m one of those people that you can learn from, you can watch what I do. Like, it’s very clear what my strategies are if you start looking. So when I started building a business, like four years ago, I started watching the people that were really smart, and that I saw who were converting people, people like who’s now a friend, Jenna Kutcher, roommate, Satie. Like, these were people who were really, really smart email marketers. And then I thought, Okay, well, I’m getting their emails, I get a lot of value from their emails, what happens? How did they get my email, and then what happened? And I went to Jenna kutcher.com. And she had this quiz. And I was like, I took that quiz that because I was interested to see what my personality was. And I basically did that is I contextualized it for personal finance. And for the offering that we had, I had some friends who I work with, who are business partners of mine build it, we worked as a team to like create the content, create the landing pages, and then we launched it, like, watch other people do the things that you want to do. Now, that doesn’t mean directly copy them. Right now, I’m not taking remote safety’s copy and like directly implementing it here, right. But I am taking the the systems and the things that are effective for them. And I’m like, Oh, how can I duplicate their success for me? And that’s what I did. And I’ve told both of them. I’m like, hi, we have a quiz. And we did that because of you. And they’re like, Great, yeah, it works. So like, it’s not anything new or novel. I’m just watching other people do really cool things and going okay, cool. How can I do that? Same thing with webinars, I’ve been in webinars, I’ve been in workshops, I watch the system that happens. I look at myself as the user, I’m like, okay, cool. If I want to attend this thing, I have to give them my email. Interesting. Why don’t they ask for my email? Oh, probably, so that they can market to me later or provide me more value. Okay, that’s really interesting. Oh, when I’m in the webinar, and you know, the thing pops up on the side that offers, you know, a discount for a paid product. I can purchase that, then. Oh, and I see that they’re making, they’re putting like a time stamp on it. Or they’re putting like a ticker on it. And that this discount only lasts for a certain period of time. Oh, they’re incentivizing me to get this discount. They’re motivating me with this countdown clock. Right? Interesting. Oh, after the webinar is over, I got an email that like said, Hey, you were there? Great. Here’s a reminder. And here’s the link. And here’s exactly where to go. Like, I can watch people do this by just being a consumer. And especially when I was growing a business and didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I was watching other people smarter than me, and then figuring out how I could apply that for my own stuff.

Natalie Franke
Yes, I say all the time, I would much rather work with someone. And I’ll flip this and even say, the people who are successful are more likely to have, you know, a master’s in Google than they are to have a master’s from Harvard. And well you’re describing is why? Because it’s the idea that if you are curious enough, you’ll figure it out if you’re willing to watch how other people are doing something if you’re willing to do this work, because when I’m hearing Tory is like no one handed you here’s the here’s the roadmap to the success. You did the work of asking yourself questions and analyzing I mean, you that’s what that does take a lot of work. But in the pursuit of that you basically are self like that’s, it’s the self taught level of marketing expertise that led you to and say, Okay, I’m seeing this, this resonated with me. I’m going to I’m going to iterate on that. I’m going to iterate on that for my business model and see if it works. And then from there, take those learnings and improve it. And then now your team is doing your own like, kind of rebuilding of certain systems and it’s that ability to ask hard questions. Stay kind of with that lens with that lens of learning. And leaning in.

Tori Dunlap
Listen to the podcast, right, like you being here is is the is part of that. And I think for service based businesses, for anybody listening. Think about the content that connects with you right or think about again, like for me, it was like, I took Jenna’s quiz. Why did I take it Oh, because it was motivating and it was pretty and it was exciting. And I was like, oh, what what personality am I? And like I trusted her enough to then I actually give her my email when my quiz results were ready. Because that’s the other part, right? It’s, it’s like, if I don’t trust that person, if I don’t connect with that person, if I don’t understand how that person is actually going to serve me, then I’m going to complete the quiz. But I won’t give my email because I don’t care enough because I’m like, Man, I don’t really care. I don’t want this person to have my email. But if you can figure out like, why, as a user, did I like that photo? Did I interact with that content? Did I give that person my email, you can start to bridge how you can then do that for yourself and for your own business, right. And back to original point. None of this works, if they don’t trust you, none of this works. If you’re not providing value, none of this works, if you’re just trying to sell them both, because it’s going to feel icky for you, it’s gonna feel icky to sell all the time, it’s not going to feel good, and at least it shouldn’t feel good. And that’s not that’s not how good business is done. That’s not how that’s not effective, right? So build the systems. And also understand like, if you are not serving, if you are not bridging, you know, this, this relationship of trust, it’s not going to actually matter. You can build the sexiest email funnel ever. But if people never actually give you their email, because they don’t trust you, or they don’t know what your business does, or you don’t have a clear value proposition, then it’s not going to work. Oh,

Natalie Franke
I love this so much. I was at a festival a couple of years ago. And I remember, there was a photographer there who was walking around taking photographs of people at the event. And like if you wanted to photo like, call them over and come take a photo, and I was chatting with him, like, Oh, how did you get this opportunity? Like, how’d you get hired to do this? And he said, Oh, I’m just like, I’m volunteer. I volunteered. And I was like, Oh, so you’re working for free? And he corrected me. He says, oh, no, I’m not working for free. And he pulls out his phone, and there was a QR code. And he goes, I’m working for your email, like, if you like, I’ll take a photo of you, I will, you can have the photo, you know, and here’s like, the LP where I would just like pop into my email address, like, here’s who I am. And as soon as the gallery is ready, you get access to it. And I wish I had had time to just ask this man, so many questions. But sure enough, gallery comes into my inbox. 48 hours later, there’s the photo of me at the event. And immediately I’m like, Oh my gosh, who is this person. So then I go to his Instagram, and now I’m engaged. Now I’m like, This person just gave me something for free. He just gave me something, he gave me a gift. And I bet that day, he probably interacted with 100 plus 200 300 people and took an opportunity that was just sitting there and turned it into potential business. Now, I never personally booked him for anything. But I wouldn’t be surprised if other people were like, Oh, I met this photographer. The photo he got was incredible. Like you have to check out his work, so on and so forth, all of it to say like, sometimes are these opportunities where when we lead with that value, and we’re willing to think like our customer, like our client, and in the case of Jenna’s quiz for you like you are her target, like your her target market, I’m her target market, you know, she is has always been someone that has been teaching others how to build businesses, and she shared so much of her own journey. And so in your business, it’s the same thing. Think of your client and ask yourself, like, what is the value that they want? What would get them right to hand over their email, and you’re going to provide value in the process. And I absolutely love that. I want to take a step and oh, my gosh, I could talk to you all day. I really could I could talk to you. It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous. I wanted to like take a step into talking about some money myths. If you’re down with for with me, I talk about 20 minutes, because let me tell you something, they are out there they are out there. And I don’t know if you have some money that’s top of mind that you just want to debunk for us. But maybe we start there because I know I have some but I want to hear if there are some from you like business owners listen up. Are you believing some of these money myths? And can Tory debunk them for you on the independent business podcast?

Tori Dunlap
So I spend the whole first chapter of my book talking about the emotions of money and the psychology of money. And we actually spend the first part of that chapter talking about the myths you’re believing almost every single chapter has like the myths you’re believing about debt or the myths you’re believing about investing. So just general money myths. Okay, first off, we’ve all heard the talking about money is taboo. Right? I can’t talk about money. It’s impolite. It’s not professional. This is a myth meant to keep you underpaid and overworked. It is a patriarchal myth meant to keep you broke. It’s meant to keep you broke. Because if you don’t know that Chad, who got hired two years after you is making 20% More than you because you’re not talking about money. You don’t know that right? You don’t know that your other friends are also in debt, but you feel so isolated and lonely and ashamed. You don’t know as a business owner that things are really hard and that it’s really hard to figure out your profit and loss every month and to navigate that if you’re not talking with other business owners like you that talking about money is one of the easiest things we can start to do. So that radically changes every part of our society. It not only, of course decreases wage gaps and wealth gaps, but also just makes them more equitable world, like makes it more equitable, you know, entrepreneurial landscape and makes a more equitable workplace, it makes our relationships better, it makes everything better. Money is the number one cause of stress in romantic relationships. Money is the number one cause of stress just in Americans in general. And we are more likely to talk about any other uncomfortable topic, death, sex, politics, religion, before we’ll talk about money. And so one of the easiest things you can do is start talking about money. Now, it doesn’t have to be me going to Natalie and being like, exactly what did you make last year tell me, it can just be like, Hey, I saw you’re working with this one client, and they reached out to me, and if you would be willing, I would love for you to share your numbers. And we can compare. I literally got asked to speak at a conference. I was internet friends with the other person that was on the panel. I messaged him, I was like, Hey, what are you getting paid? If you don’t mind me asking. He was like, I’m getting paid this. And I was like, Cool. I’m getting paid this. Great. We knew and especially for me, as a woman, I was like, I want to know what that guy’s getting paid. But I had a bigger following than he did. So I was able to get more money. But like, that’s the kind of that’s the kind of relationships you want to build, right? Me reaching out to a friend and being like, Hey, I’m really stressed about my student loans. Can I just talk to you about it? Like that’s a conversation about money. So start talking about money. We’ll talk about anything else before we’ll talk about money start talking about money. It’s an stupid narrative meant to keep you underpaid and overworked. Second money narrative or money myth is the frivolous spender. Is that the reason you can’t build wealth is because you frivolously spend. Okay, frivolous decoded. That word is extremely gendered, frivolous spending? Yeah. frivolous spending is the lattes or the manicures or the purses or the designer dresses. It is not the NFL season tickets and the golf clubs. Right? It is the latte which is like innately feminine and it’s the Gucci purse and it’s the the you know, the shellac pedicure. It is not boxy, it’s at, you know, a Seahawk game. Like that’s, that’s the interesting part is that we are shamed for our purchases, but uniquely as women, the things that are called frivolous are the things that are innately feminine. The reason you can’t afford a house is not coffee. Like the not only does the math not work like it’s systemic oppression. It’s like rising housing prices and stagnating minimum wage and a trillion dollar student debt crisis. That’s the reason you can’t afford a house. It is not. I bought a coffee. It’s not that at all. And you’ve done the

Natalie Franke
math. I saw the tick tock, oh, massive,

Tori Dunlap
we’re gonna link it. We’re gonna link that tick tock in the show notes. The math is performing tiktoks Yeah,

Natalie Franke
no wonder it was on my FYP. But truly, like, that’s why I saw it. I was like, Oh, wow, that’s not even a quarter of a mortgage payment. You don’t even like I saw it. And I was like, wow, but but how quick we are to believe something like that. When we hear it circulating like, well, you can’t buy a house because you’re buying a coffee at your local independent coffee shop every week or whatever. But that’s not the case. Keep going Keep going.

Tori Dunlap
Like if coffee is something that you’re just buying out of habit, or you don’t like it or it’s, it’s you’re just completely like it’s a mindless purchase. Right? Yeah, we’re gonna stop doing that I walk you through in the book, like how to evaluate your purchases, and if they actually bring you joy, but that’s not necessarily coffee. That’s a bunch of things that it could be right. If you love your coffee, great. That’s not the reason you’re not rich. Okay, other narrative is that I will be rich if I just work hard. Also known, of course, is the bootstraps narrative, this is a very American thing is it’s just like, you know, if you work hard, you will be a millionaire or you will be rich. And of course, that’s not true. There are plenty of people out there working way harder than I am and single mothers who have three jobs and cannot make ends meet. And that is not a lack of hard work. That is a lack of social safety nets. And again, minimum wage increases. And there are many, many, many things that have a much bigger impact on your day to day finances and how hard you are working or not working. And it gaslights you too, because then when you’re like, I’m working hard and I I’ve been doing this for years yet I can’t, I can’t save anything. Like I literally I just can’t save anything. And that’s not like a willpower thing, or that’s not like a I still have a Netflix subscription. But like actually, I’m living paycheck to paycheck, you then are like, Okay, I need to just work harder. That’s not you. The problem is not you. It’s all of the problems around you. And I would say finally, just in general, again, my entire book has is about really how All of our work is about how women and money just like money affects women differently and how that relationship is different than like a straight white man. But in that kind of vein of like frivolous spending, right? One of the other things that happens is the money advice for women compared to men is very different. The money advice even in 2023 for men is make more money, right? It is expand it is play bigger it is negotiate your salary, it is start investing, it’s diversify your revenue streams, what is the money advice for women? shrink? Right? Spend less money, right that Dr. Pepper saying it you cow, right? Like that is that is the narrative that is the that is what we’re told is like, you know, coupon clip, and find five meals to make under $5. And like, shrink yourself, right? The advice to men is expand to make more money, which is great advice. But the advice to women is, spend less. And the thing about earning potential is, in theory, your earning potential is infinite, right? Like you can make more money. At some point, you can’t not like you can’t not spend money, right? Like if you get down to bare bones, you still have to pay your rent, you still have to buy groceries to stuff to feed yourself, you still have to go to daycare, right and take your kids to daycare, like you still have those expenses, right? So I think that’s the other difference that I really want people to be aware of is, especially for women, business owners, there’s the shame and making money, there is the shame in doing well, there’s this shame in having something that is successful. And I need you to call a complete and total bullshit on that. There is something actually that is so liberating, and is a form of protest for people who are members of marginalized groups to be financially whole and stable. That is a form of protest in a society that does not want that for you. In a society that demands you play small in a society that that expects you to limit and shrink and be controllable, because that’s the thing about money is it makes you uncontrollable in the most beautiful way. When you have money, you don’t answer to anybody you don’t answer to a boss, you don’t answer to a partner, you don’t answer to a client, you don’t answer to anybody you answer to you. And when society gets a whiff that, oh, she’s no longer controllable. They’re no longer controllable. They will try to shrink you it will tell you making money and you being rich is actually really unflattering. That’s a real, that’s a real thing people have told me that’s a real thing is it’s like you would be a lot more palatable. If you didn’t talk about how much money you made. And I’m like, Yeah, I’m sure I would be I’m sure you would be able to stomach me better. That’s not the point. The point is not for you who feel threatened by my independence, to be able to stomach me better stranger on the internet. That is not the point. The point is to live in expansive life that serves people. And so I can be rich and have great things like that’s the point of life. So all of these narratives around money, especially if you’re a member of a marginalized group are there to shrink, you keep you playing small, and for you to like shame yourself. And if we start breaking out of that shame, not just as business owners, but as individuals. The entire world starts to change. Rant over.

Natalie Franke
I’m fired up now. I have fired up to expand No more. No more clipping coupons for this one. I know I love and it reminds you love that. But like maybe you love it, you go for it. I’m thinking my friend Jess, my friend, Jess is such a good coupon clever. But yes, the the whole premise of just like the difference in advice. And I remember, Tony, like, when I started my business, I just remember one of the things I struggled with was the concept of sometimes you have to spend money to actually make money. And even something as simple as that, where other I have friends that they’re like, of course, like how did you not know that? So there’s even this like, you know, sort of like rulebook or knowledge base of information that’s just withheld. And I was one of the ones that just didn’t grow up hearing about it hearing it talked about. And so I’m grateful for spaces where we have these conversations about money, where we’re able to actually talk about it. And so segwaying into our final question, because I could keep you all day, but I do I do want to get you back to impacting others and helping them to grow their own wealth. I asked everybody this question on the podcast and I’m really curious to hear your answer. But Tori, what do you think differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail? Oh, there’s no right or wrong answer.

Tori Dunlap
Oh, I just had I had like six answers. It’s immediately gonna have an asterix on it. But this is the easiest way I can say it. be controversial. Like have something to say. I don’t mean controversial and like say racist stuff. That’s not what I mean. I mean, like, have an opinion especially in 2023 Do people expect you to have an opinion and people also expect to either connect with you and understand what your business is or or not, I will use a tick tock trend to explain this, the girls that get it get it and the girls that don’t don’t like they will either get what you’re doing or they won’t. Trying to be everything to everybody makes you nothing to nobody. I say that, again, trying to be everything to everybody makes you nothing to nobody. That is the probably biggest thing that I see. A general like anybody entrepreneur tried to do is they’re like, Okay, I need, I need to get clients and I need to get money. So I am just going to offer everything and I’m going to offer it to everybody. When I like went viral for the first time in 2019, I had a piece go out in MarketWatch, which is like a you know, financial publication, but it blew up it got like a million views in I think like a week for like a news article, which was pretty substantial, especially for MarketWatch. And the interesting thing was, is that 95% of the comments on that piece were vitriolic. They hated me. They did not like me. They were men in their 60s named Steve, who were like, I don’t get her Why does she have to make this a gendered issue? Why can’t you just talk about money? And I have this really interesting choice then, which is, Oh, am I doing something wrong? Right? Am I don’t mind doing something wrong? Should I shift? I clearly I don’t appeal to these people. And I’m losing potential followers or clients. But then I realized, actually, I’m doing something right. Because if they don’t get it again, girls would get it get at the girl. So don’t tell the people who understand what we do at her first 100k become brand evangelists for us. If you are turned off by the word feminism, you’re not going to follow me. And then you never were going to follow me you were never going to be somebody who wanted to be part of this community. Right? So yes, if you follow Dave Ramsey, if again, you don’t like the word feminist, you’re not going to like me, great. There’s plenty of other people out there. There’s also literally 10s, probably hundreds of millions of women, people who love what we do, who are very aligned in terms of our customer persona, who will 100% get it, because we have opinions because we are speaking our mind, because to some people we might be deemed slightly controversial. And I put that in quotes. So trying to be everything to everybody makes you nothing to nobody, I need you to pick the person, the thing you’re trying to say. And understand that not everybody is going to get it. And that actually means you’re doing something right. Because the people that will will tattoo your brand on their forehead, like they will love it and come back and be so excited to engage with you. And that’s the people that you want, just from a business angle. Those are the people that purchase from you and keep purchasing from you. Those are the people who like everything you post right. The people who are fairweather followers are people who are like, Yeah, I don’t really get it. You don’t want those people anyway. So especially when you’re first getting started, and I think anybody at any stage of the business really important to remind yourself, have the people in mind, don’t try to be everything to everybody understand that you have to connect with the people you’re trying to connect with. And they should immediately understand if this is for them or not. If it’s not cool, they move on if it’s for them. That’s that’s the time to start nurturing. Whoa,

Natalie Franke
what an episode Tory before I’m just on fire, I’m like I am fired up. Before we go. Though I have no doubt that listeners are going to want to know more about your podcast more about where they can get your book will obviously link everything in the show notes. But go ahead and let us know where we can connect with you further.

Tori Dunlap
Thank you, I am at her first 100k on all the socials H ER FYRST 100 k.com. If you want to see the kind of systems we’re building and engage with them yourself, and maybe also give us your email her first 100 k.com/quiz is the place to go. So you can copy it right off of that. I have a book called financial feminist. I have a podcast that Matt was kind enough to guest on also called financial feminist. So yeah, if you Google me if you Google her first 100k you’ll find me.

Natalie Franke
Amazing Tori, thank you so much.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Episode 18 Transcript: Why high achievers and business owners struggle with self-doubt

Natalie Franke
My guest today Jeffrey Shaw started his self employment lifetime career at the age of 14 years old, selling eggs door to door. He then created a highly successful portrait photography business and has images that hang in the halls of Harvard have been featured on Oprah. You name it, his photographs have been everywhere and made a tremendous impact. In more recent years. He’s an author, a podcast host, a TEDx speaker, and a coach empowering self employed individuals to truly build profitable businesses and pursue their dreams. In this conversation, we are talking all about the monster that keeps many of us from going after what we want self doubt. And when I tell you this conversation really, really left me feeling like a student because I myself struggle with this. And I felt very comforted to learn that so many others do too. You’re going to want to pop those headphones in, dig into this episode, and allow it to be the soundtrack that gets you out of the spiral of self doubt, and into moving forward in your life and your business. Let’s get into the episode. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.

Natalie Franke
Jeffrey, thank you so much for joining me on the show.

Jeffrey Shaw
I’m so excited to talk to you anytime, especially today,

Natalie Franke
I had the opportunity to be a guest on your podcast very recently. And after we hopped off that conversation, that interview, we deep dive into a subject that we’re going to be talking about today on the independent business podcast, which is self doubt. And I am so excited to dive into this because as someone that has run businesses myself, it doesn’t matter. You know how many years I do this, I myself, I feel like I’m the student here. I’m really truly I know, I’m the host today, but I’m the student here. self doubt always creeps in and I want to just dive right into it. Why is self doubt something that independent business owners that, you know, self employed individuals struggle with? Why are we dealing with them?

Jeffrey Shaw
Well, I love the fact that you’re reminding me how we got into the conversation in the first place, which actually is a metaphor for the problem, right? Because it’s sort of like the after cocktails conversation, like you and I had a great conversation, because that’s what we business owners do. We’re always doing business, we’re always talking about the big ideas, we’re always talking about what we’re moving forward. And then secretly behind the scenes, we’re dealing with self doubt, we’re dealing with other things that hold us back. And it was literally represented in our conversation we had in a dynamic business conversation, and then we had the real conversation about what it’s like to be in the trenches as a business owner. So, you know, here’s the key to, to my damage. This, by the way, is the subject of my third book won’t be out till spring 2025. So I love that out of this conversation, like while I’m writing it and doing the research, but this book is being written specifically for high achievers. And that is an important thing to understand. Because there’s this weird thing that happens when you are someone who is a high achiever, you’re independent business owners, people are trying to do the big things. There is a an absolute correlation to how big and bold your living life and how much dust you’re stirring up, and how much you’re going to deal with some of the internal challenges if you are a person who is inclined to punch the clock or lay on your couch. Nothing wrong with it, but you’re not as inclined to hit some of these issues that we face. And that’s what intrigued me whether it’s impostor syndrome and self doubt and self criticism, all these things. I’ve always said being in business for ourselves is like personal development on steroids. Right? Because we experience everything faster, harder, deeper, we get, you know, our personal growth is accelerated. But that’s why I’m writing this book specifically for high achievers who are probably even somewhat surprised that they’re still dealing with self doubt. But in fact, it’s actually increased.

Natalie Franke
Yes, okay, wait, let’s dive into the increase. Because one thing I’m really curious about is whether self doubt goes away. As you grow in your career as you build your business and you start expanding and having success or whether it gets worse. What have you started to uncover there? Absolutely.

Jeffrey Shaw
I hate to use the word worse, right? Does it get worse? Does it get more frequent? Does it become more prevalent? I don’t know what word want to use there to kind of smoother but it absolutely is a bigger obstacle. And here’s why. And my research is already showing this that when asked, and I have a I have a survey which we can share with your listeners, but we have I’m doing a survey because I really am doing research, scientific research. But here’s the thing, Natalie, there is almost no research on the negative impact of self doubt. There’s a lot of research on the quote unquote, positive impacts of self doubt. Correct. There are books written about, you know, the wonderful parts of self doubt. Well, you know what, for those of us that are independent business owners living life in the trenches and doing our, I don’t think we see anything positive of self doubt. It just sucks. And let’s call it what it is. So I used to get irritated by people saying, well, here’s the positive side of self doubt. I’m like, yeah, no, that’s not helping me. It’s sort of like being sick. I would say it’s kind of like being single. And people say you’re, you’re a great person, your your person just hasn’t come along yet. Like, Yeah, no kidding. But that’s not helping me now, you know. So I think it shows up more frequently, because then we’re out there doing more the reason it, the recent, my research is showing, and this one, the biggest amount of research is coming from the survey that I’m circulating, because I wanted the research from in the trenches, the real, not the scientific, brain, you know, type of research, I wanted real people research. When asked one of the questions on the on the survey is when do you experience self doubt more? Is it when you’re doing something for the first time? Or is it when you’ve done something before, but the bar has been raised. And by and large, the response is, when I’ve done something before, now the bar has been raised. This is why high achievers, this can often start facing more self doubt. Because once you’ve achieved any level of success, you may doubt whether you can achieve it again, you may doubt whether you can sustain your reputation. But all these things start coming in once you’ve once you’ve raised the bar, your own expectation, that’s the other part of the surveys asked, Where are those expectations coming from? Are they coming from other people or yourself which expectations have more impact? And by and large people are saying the expectations I hold for myself within? Okay, so it’s this what’s going on? Right? So you have people who are achieving things and as they’re achieving things, they’re wondering if they can sustain it, can they can they exceed it? So every time they do something now it self doubt is introduced? And that’s why it’s it’s it’s perpetuating, I mean this, I think there’s really something to the old phrase, it’s lonely at the top. There’s so much that goes on. Because as you’ve achieved, you also feel like this is one of the other questions in the survey, does your does your reputation cause you to cause you to feel more expectations? Right? And that’s when you start experiencing it on your own? Because if you’re if you are feeling self doubt in protection of your reputation, you’re not likely to share that with other people that you’re feeling this way.

Natalie Franke
Wow, it’s almost like success. Isn’t the anecdote, success? Isn’t the cure to self doubt. No, it just shifts the way in which you’re coming across it in your daily life is really what it sounds like. And I have to imagine, and I’m curious if you’ve experienced this firsthand in the work that you do, but it’s you know, as we think about once you have that success, once you start to achieve once you experience growth in your business in your career, you become exposed to just how many other people are out there doing great things with the just sheer amount of content that we consume on any given day observing and kind of absorbing the successes of others as well, right? Like, it’s not even our own ability to achieve. It’s the fact that as an independent business owner, you’re just exposed to all of the other highlight reels happening all around you. I only I have to imagine that makes this entire experience all the more difficult, right? Like, it’s one thing to be experiencing self doubt, because you’re just aware of, Wow, well, I’ve had this success, am I ever going to have it again? Or oh, I’ve built this reputation. If anything goes wrong, it’s going to damage it. And right, like, it’s like a giant, and I see this person and this person and this person, and they are all achieving, as well. They’re all having this success, as well. Have you felt that pressure 100%.

Jeffrey Shaw
And you know, there’s actually science behind that. So it’s called Brain priming. And I love brain priming as a tool because it can work for you. It can work against you and the way I help my clients and my students use it for them is that idea of brain priming, is that you are more likely to recognize what you already know. Okay, so if you prime your brain, right, and you can look at this, most broadly like to me it’s the root of manifest nation, right, we can make manifest, we can talk about manifestation as woowoo as we want. The fact of matter is, the reason it works is because if you decide and hold in your brain, the result you want, you’re far more likely to recognize it. Right? That’s brain priming. Now as a marketer and business, we can use that in the way that we market ourselves, that’s the whole goal behind marketing is to prime the brains of our potential customers to recognize us. But that same science is what’s going on and what you’re describing like, and I’m sure with your clients, you’ve had a similar idea where it’s almost predictable. My clients when working with them, they, you know, they have an idea, they have an area of expertise, they have a brand message that they they’ve crafted they think is so unique. And within two weeks, they’ll contact me and say, oh, so and so is doing the exact same thing. And as if they can’t step into that space. And I’m like, the this is Brain priming at its word. Now that you’ve introduced your brain, you’re going to start seeing that same topic everywhere, it’s actually always been there, there’s still room in that area of expertise for you as well, you’re just seeing more of it. And this is what happens with that comparison trap. Right? When you achieve success, you start hanging around with people that are likely also successful, you start noticing other people’s success more, and it starts messing with your brain. And next thing, you know, you’re falling into a comparison trap at a more frequent rate, which is increasing the self doubt. It’s a cycle.

Natalie Franke
So how do we break it? What what do we do because this is something I struggle with. And I mean, I’ve talked about it pretty openly, but comparison just feels like this, you know, monster that just continues to pop up when you least expect it when you’re having an off day when you’re feeling insecure. When you know something doesn’t go your way. There it is. It’s like hiding in the shadows ready to jump out? And I’d love to know, like, what can we do to start to break that cycle? What have you found to be helpful in either, you know, kind of combating the comparison, we’ve talked about brain priming, you’re speaking my language, you know, or even just starting to address the self doubt that maybe we’re feeling day to day.

Jeffrey Shaw
So gosh, we can help try to answer that in two different ways. One is kind of more broadly about why I’m writing the book in the first place. So I work with my editors. So fantastic. She She we’ve worked for months on an outline of a book before even start, and she’s forces me always to create a readers promise, like what’s the promise for the reader that you’re going to hold throughout the entire reading the book you’re going to hold to be true, and the person finishes it. And my my reader promise is that, by having this conversation, self doubt can lose its power, I’m not going to promise that we’re going to make self doubt go away, you know, it’s never going to go away. I do believe we can manage it. But what happens is when when something when when something gets light shed on it, it loses its power in a lot of ways. Brene Brown did this beautifully with vulnerability, right? She created the conversation on a big scale about vulnerability, to the point where not that not only did it lose its negative power people, she accomplished what she set out to do, which was to have people see vulnerability as their strength. So what I’m trying to accomplish with this book by having this conversation by starting the conversation around self doubt that for so many people have been having behind the scenes, it’s a kind of going out of their own internal world. I want to I want to start the conversation, I want people to be having a converse, I want independent business owners to be talking to each other about the self doubt that they’re encountering. And by having the conversation, it’s going to lose his power, which is going to enable you to manage it better, it’s not going to go away. Now the number one way that I’m finding to manage it, which answers your more specific question, the comparison trap or any other time. What I’m finding in my research and I will say is true. My own personal experience is remind yourself of who you are. I mean, it is amazing. If you actually pay attention to when you’re experiencing self doubt as it’s as if you have a major case of amnesia and you forget everything you’ve ever accomplished before you forget about all the levels of confidence you’ve ever had. You forget about all the things even if you’re doing something new, you forget about the thing, other bold things that you did. It’s amazing what we completely forget what we’ve accomplished, and what we’re capable of and who we are because we’re damn cool by being independent business owners of the first place. And somehow all that at a moments of self doubt where they seem people seem to seem to detach from who they are. So number one thing to manage it is to remind reconnect with who you are, what makes you who you are, what makes you what makes you tick, what you’ve accomplished. And kind of hand in hand to that but also a really self helpful tool is to pay attention to how other people see you. And what’s really interesting about this, Natalie is I did this is the topic of my TEDx talk in 2018. Long before I had an idea, it just I had this idea when I was crafting my TEDx talk about something I wanted to talk about, unrelated to my professional work, unrelated to my books. And it was this idea that I had come to observe, honestly, by watching award shows, particularly the Tony Awards. Like, I really started noticing that when, when people were receiving accolades and awards, they would often thank other people for seeing more than then they saw on themselves. And particularly the Tony Awards, because of the Broadway theater community is so tight, that they would often thank their peers, they’re not a very, they’re the Broadway community is not a real competitive community. They’re very supportive of one another. So they would thank each other I started realizing, isn’t it interesting that so often other people see more on us than we see in ourselves. So the other way to reconnect with yourself and to, to manage self doubt, is to listen to how other people see you.

Natalie Franke
What’s so incredible about that is there’s actually a story in my book, gutsy, where I talk about, you know, the months after my daughter Harlow was born, and I was in, and I’m gonna be really honest with you, in the depths of probably one of the deepest depressions I’ve experienced postpartum was really rough the second time around for me, and I actually write a story in the book about a particular day where I was really struggling, and my husband came up to me, and I will never forget, you know, he, like lovingly kind of wrapped his arms around me and he said, remember who the hell you are. And it just like, kind of like, I was like, what, and he, you know, didn’t stop there. But he was like, remember who you are, like, remember what you’ve overcome. Remember what you are capable of, like, just having that moment. And as you were talking, I just, I kept going back to that point where I needed both I needed somebody in my life, who saw me for who I truly am in a moment where I couldn’t see it myself, somebody in my life who loved me, and who was willing to fight for me, even when I couldn’t fight for myself, and also somebody that was willing to say to me, like, remember, remember who you are. And I think you know, it’s so beautiful and so powerful. That simple statement of just, you know, don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget, you know what, what you’ve you’ve had to overcome to get to where you are today, don’t forget what you’ve walked through the risks, you’ve taken the leaps of faith, right? The the hope that you’ve had for your own life and your own future, in those moments, where maybe you’re struggling for one reason or another, it can be so easy to lose sight of that. And I love I absolutely love, you know, the encouragement to everyone around also asking others like how they see you. I remember when I did a rebranding exercise several years ago, the individual helping me with the process said, you know, to actually reach out to three people who know you and love you, and ask them, you know, what is it that you love about me? What are what do you think my superpower is? are, you know, just just simply asking that question, and I’ll never forget getting these responses back and just feeling sort of like, Wait, that’s how they see me. You know, that’s, that’s what they think about me. And that the way that your chest kind of swells. And, you know, you sit up a little bit taller. And I absolutely love that. I’m curious, you know, as as your career has grown, and you know, you you’ve had success, you’ve written books, you’ve spoken on stages in front of hundreds 1000s of people, you know, is there anything for you in the moment, like if you’re in a moment where the pressure feels intense, where the stakes are high? And the self doubt comes creeping in, when it really shouldn’t? Have you found any techniques like in the moment to kind of center yourself or get back to that healthy baseline? Is it affirmations? Is it a mantra? Is it meditation? Is it calling a friend phoning him in like, you know, help helpline? One 800. I need? What has worked well for you? Is there anything kind of tactical for those of us who may experience that self doubt creep in in a moment where it’s really crucial for us to continue with forward progress? I

Jeffrey Shaw
think the I’m a big proponent of particularly for independent business owners, I’m a real big proponent for having a baseline of consistency in your life through some sort of daily habits, right. Whether it’s meditation or walk, journaling, you know, we have to have some kind of baseline of consistency of our own groundedness because the world we’re living in is so chaotic as business owners, right it’s we’re things are coming in all different directions. We’re wearing all the hats. A car enemies changed. And now we know pandemics can come along. I’m like, you know, it’s just, it’s a crazy, crazy world we have chosen to live in and we want to thrive. And so step one is over the long term is to have a baseline of consistency in your mindsets, so that you have something to Oh, you have a way of grounding yourself. But in the heated moment, and the way you’re asking the question is reminding me of, you know, what does it feel like to either walk out on stage when it’s an intimidating audience? Or what does it you know, when you have those moments, those crisis moments of self doubt, again, you could say that leading up to that moment, affirmations and all those wonderful sweet things are great. But in the crisis moment, I recommend having in your back pocket a shutdown phrase. And that’s exactly what I call it. And that’s how I teach it to my students that my self employed businesses do, we talk I teach them have a shutdown phrase, because it’s going to come in that voice of self doubt is going to come in, and just tell it to sit down and shut up. Like, whatever it is that you need, I’ve got this, like, whatever, you know, but there’s a difference between an affirmation and a shutdown phrase. And in the crisis, moment of self doubt, be prepared with a shutdown phrase, and mine literally is shut, sit down and shut up. Like, I just know that that person just needs to that that critic just needs to sit down. Alright, so that’s what I kind of recommend that and you know, combined with again, that that, to me, is the crisis moment. The other thing is, and I think, particularly for service based businesses, just remind yourself who you’re serving. That’s how I handle that’s how I handle stage fright, by the way, and I still get very nervous before every speaking gig, the way I calm down the self doubt, and the nervousness is to just know I am there in service of the people who showed up. And I just tell them, and I literally go through this thing in my head, no matter what happens, if I fall off the stage, if I found out afterwards that my hair was all messed up, whatever it is, keep going because I’m in service to the audience. And that when you are a service based business owner, when you’re driven by your, your purpose, and really wanting to make an impact, again, reminding yourself of that is what can get you back on track and actually feel like I don’t care what happens to me, this is not about me, even though I’m the one on stage spotlights on me, this isn’t about me, it’s about the people I’m here in service for. And then I mean a little I’ve had everything that can go wrong, go wrong on a stage, I have fallen off stages, I have had mics go out, I have had slides go out. But with the mindset, like just keep going, no matter what happens, you’re in service, you just let those things roll. And you keep going. So I think whether it’s entering to the stage of speaking or the stage of the world, because you are a business owner, just really reminding yourself reconnecting yourself back to who you’re in service of will help kind of squelch those moments of self doubt as well. It’s like, it’s like, you’re just taking the spotlight off yourself.

Natalie Franke
I love that visual, it’s 100%, it’s taking that spotlight from you to who you’re serving. And by doing that, it becomes less about me and more about we and the impact you can make on others 100% Spot on, it’s so spot on. And I feel like that’s so applicable in any capacity as an independent, whether you’re sitting down with a client for a call, and you’re feeling really anxious, or you’re getting ready to post a piece of content, and you’re nervous about how people are going to react to it again, getting back to the root of who are you serving? And how are you showing up to make that impact? That is so powerful. I also want to know, you know, when it comes to self doubt, what I’ve uncovered, and I feel like I’m so curious if this has come up as well for you. But in working with small business owners and independents, I hear all the time that you know, the folks they maybe expect to be the first to support them the first to, you know, cheer for them root for them, when they do something like leave a job and start a business or pick up a side hustle or, you know, scale and launch something new. A lot of the time those people they would have expected to be the loudest in their corner, are either the first to project their own self doubts and fears onto them. Right? Or they stay particularly quiet. I’m really curious, if you have any words of encouragement for, you know, the independent, who is maybe looking for that support looking, you know, to their partner or their best friend to, you know, be there to root for them when their self doubt self doubt creeps in. But perhaps some of those folks are not doing that. Or maybe they’re, you know, not really sure how to support do you have any advice there?

Jeffrey Shaw
It pains me to even hear that, you know, I mean, it’s a painful experience when the people that you think are going to be your advocates turn out to be you’re not showing up that way. So I think the way I would handle that, interestingly enough, I love that you’re asked me this, I’ve never really thought about it. And thankfully that wasn’t so much my experience or actually it probably was to some degree, but I just I’m somebody who just like play I was through things. So I don’t tend to, you know, pay a lot of attention to what other people might be thinking. But what my suggestion would be similar to, I actually refer to this as a decision making process. And I think it applies here as well. Because, you know, as a business coach, people reaching out to work with me, I’m often helping them how to make a decision whether to move forward with me or with somebody else, or how they want to transform their life. And as I started, sort of study the breakdown of the science of how to make a decision. And it’s, it’s, I think it’d be a very helpful way to also manage when people don’t seem to be in agreement with a decision you’ve made. And it’s what I refer to is just understanding that when you’re making a big decision, or moving forward with the decision and seeing confrontation, there are three voices that are speaking to you, the voice of intuition, the voice of fear, and the voice of reason. And they each have an important role. But they operate in different ways, right? So the voice of intuition is by far the quietest, and really the only one to be trusted. Right? Your voice of intuition is you tapping into back tapping into you again, right? It’s really your voice of intuition. Intuition is reconnecting to yourself. That’s, that is likely to be your greatest advocate against self doubt. Because you, you have a gut instinct, and an intuition that you’re doing the right thing. The voice of reason, plays an important role, but is completely manipulated. Like, you know, the voice of reason is the voice that tells you you shouldn’t make that purchase. And then you talk it out of that, because your emotions are driven so much that you want that thing and you buy it anyway. Right. So like my partner right now, my husband, the voice of reason is very easily manipulated, so not very trustworthy. And of course, the voice of fear is the loudest. Yeah, but the problem is the voice of fear. All its information comes from past information. So those people that you expect to be your advocates, they’re speaking from their voice of fear on your behalf, on behalf of care for you and love for you. So they’re expressing their it’s their voice of fear the speaking the loudest. And that that I think is it’s really coming from love and support and concern and probably their own elevated voice of fear, because they wouldn’t have the bravery to do what you’re about to do. Right. So I think if you just recognize that, again, the more you can shed light on something, the more it loses its power. And if anyone who has that experience, just shine the light on to say, this is what’s going on, this person is speaking from their voice of fear. Thank you for that. And then trust your own intuition as to where you want to go with that.

Natalie Franke
Wow, I love that. One place where self doubt creeps in a lot. Is around pricing. Pricing yourself raising your prices charging for doing any I mean, it is I can’t tell you how many times I see and hear conversations around pricing and around insecurities around pricing and the self doubt of am I really worth this amount? How right? Where do we begin to address that? Is there anything you’ve seen really help you know, whether it’s your your clients that you’re working with? Or in your own journey around? You know, navigating the insecurities that creep up when it comes to pricing ourselves for the incredible work that we do?

Jeffrey Shaw
Yep. Oh my gosh, you know, being a business owner is full of so many ironies and paradoxes. And it’s amazing. This is one of them, right? So there’s an absolute correlation I’m finding between self doubt and self worth. So how we determine our worth is to the dude proportionate to how much we allow doubt to creep in about what we should price. I’ll give you an example of my own life. So as a my original career, as I refer to it today, was as a portrait photographer, for very affluent families started I was 20 years old. I still I was just in Miami doing a shoot I’ll do like three shoots this year for people I just can’t say no to yet. But for the past 16 years, I’ve been doing a lot less because that’s when I introduced coaching and writing books, etc. As a photographer, even in my 20s, serving a clientele that was very affluent, I didn’t come from money. So this was brand new to me. I had no problem charging an exorbitant amount of money for what I was creating compared to other photographers. I just saw what I was creating as a photographer of having a huge value because there were going to be portraits that preserved moments in life and were handed down for generations, which is why I had to work with an affluent clientele because affluent people have the means to to not just pay for a luxury item but to pay for things that you know for the future where if you’re financially strapped, you’re, you’re paying for what is in that moment. Alright, so that’s how I ended up with that market because I realized, okay, I needed to work with people who have the discretionary income to pay for beautiful portraits that they’re Children will enjoy in the future. So for whatever reason, I had no problem charging, I saw a huge amount of value in what I was creating, I felt a sense of worth, I always say maybe a little bit because it was a cocky, 20 something year old, but I had a high sense of worth, and I charge a lot of money. I have found it for myself so much more challenging to do that, as a coach, so much more challenging to do it in the areas of my life now. And I believe this is the reason why and this is how self doubt connects the self worth actually called the souls gatekeepers, like I’ve had to give it a name. Because the more you step into being closer to your most purposeful work, whether it is something you got clear on in your 20s, or like many of us, you know, you had various iterations to your career, maybe you were in corporate for 30 years, and at 55 years old, you’re becoming a business owner, you’re stepping into something that is far more purpose driven, far more driven by wanting to make a difference in the world. And when you step into that arena, suddenly the souls gatekeepers show up and the souls gatekeepers are the voice of self doubt, and of imposter syndrome, the things show up that just challenge you, as to, it’s almost as if we’re not supposed to figure out our soul, right, because the closer you get to it, the more defensive it gets. So I think there’s a direct correlation to doing your most significant work in the world. And being challenged and having a challenge your worth and introducing self doubt. So all you can do with that, is see that, that cycle, that anxiety as a sign that you’re doing something really impactful. Right, it’s sort of like I said, on a podcast interview a while back how overwhelm is often a sign that you’re ready for your next level of success. And have come to that conclusion. Because at any point of a high achievers life, you and all your listeners, if you actually look back at whatever point you’re at, now, when you feel overwhelmed, if you look back, and again, reconnect to your past, if you look back, it’s very likely that a moment that overwhelmed you a few years ago, today is a blip on the radar for you. Which means a few years, so now what’s overwhelming, you now is going to be a blip on the radar then, which is why moments of being overwhelmed are actually an indicator that you’re ready for a greater capacity. And you’ll rise to that capacity and you’ll look back at this moment of being overwhelmed and think that’s nothing compared to what’s going on now. And so overwhelm is actually I think, a sign of these constant iterations that we are able to handle more in which is why we step into more and I think it’s sort of the same thing when it comes to to attaching worth to your self doubt. Right when it shows up. It’s a sign that you’re doing your most purposeful work and that you should be charging the highest amount for it.

Natalie Franke
Wow. Oh, wow. I mean, when you throw a mic drop out there like that i i It’s It’s so spot on and you know, I do I think there’s something to be said for as you get closer to that purposeful work. The self doubt Yes, it creeps in even more the concerns you have around how to price it feel even more personal and painful. And should somebody you know, for example, an external voice say oh, it’s not worth that. It feels like you’re being stabbed, right? Like in the soul. Those sorts of things. i Wow, wow. Oh, wow.

Jeffrey Shaw
We don’t get wrapped up a lot in this is imposter syndrome. Right? It’s been amazing to me as quickly. As I mentioned, I’m writing a book about self doubt people say something about impostor syndrome. Oh, me and crazy and I get the connection. But you know what, Natalie, for me, those two things are worlds apart. And I understand why people class but here’s why they’re and this is why I’m tackling self doubt. And not impostor syndrome. impostor syndrome is painful, I get it. But I don’t think it’s nearly as painful or as challenging as self doubt, because with impostor syndrome, we’re often worrying about other people, finding out that we might not be who they think we are. But with self doubt. We’re worried about finding out that we’re not who we think we are. And that hurts. That’s why I’m addressing the topic of self doubt. I get the comparison imposter syndrome. I just think imposter syndrome has become this term that everybody’s throwing into the big bucket of imposter syndrome. And it’s almost like it’s become a fashionable badge to wear. So, where I’m looking at what is really holding high achievers back, and I’m looking at this issue of self doubt, I’m looking at what are the consequences of it? We addressed this on the survey, like what does it do in the most likely thing is this again, this is why I’m writing this book for high achievers. High achievers are going to move forward anyway. But the problem is the self doubt has two negative consequences. One is the cause for the pause, it slows people down. In the book, I plan on interviewing some Olympic level athletes about timing. Right, and one of the one of my aspirations, I haven’t found this person yet, but I’m looking for a high diver. Now imagine you have a high diver standing on the end of a platform about to plunge who knows how many feet into the waters spinning in the air? Your timing can’t be off a fraction of a second, right? How do you not let even the slightest moment of self doubt into your brain? I want to I want to unpack that. I want to understand what is going on in their brain that they don’t allow even a fraction of self doubt command because if that throws off your timing, it could be life threatening. Alright, so one of the biggest consequences of self doubt is the pause that it causes, right? What opportunities might you have missed? What what speed at which you are moving forward when you slow down and you and somebody else ran ahead of you? Right. And then the other is, which I think is a more prevalent problem is that so often people end up being 80%. And they’re not 100%. And when they’re when they’re experiencing self doubt, they’re dipping their toes in the water instead of diving in full force. And I think a lot of people sit in this constant cycle of self doubt. They’re putting their all in at 80%. But they’re not in at 100%. And I think with better management of self doubt, I think we can overcome that.

Natalie Franke
Wow, this has been so incredible. And once you get that interview with that high diver or any Olympic level athlete for your book, we’re gonna have to have you come back on the show and dig into because I need to know, I need to know how they do it. I always close out my episodes, Jeffrey with one final question. And it is this and there’s there’s no right or wrong answer. But I’m always intrigued to know what your perspective or take on it is. Jeffrey, what do you believe, differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail?

Jeffrey Shaw
Oh, my gosh, persistence, resiliency, I mean, I, in my own life, I will always say I’ve never been the first one out of the gate. But I’m almost always the last one standing. Right. I mean, I have had in very my various careers. On a say right now, as a speaker, I’ll use that as an example like I have yet to really grab at the level of being a professional speaker at the level that I think I’m capable of, or that I’m shooting for. And I’m going through like my next iteration of platform and how I’m building that, which I think is going to be the breakthrough. And I will reflect back and say, Boy, I saw the years of not quite getting it. But in the end, I’m going to be going to be one of the last ones standing like I’ll get the recognition. And so the only way you achieve that is its persistence and resiliency. Just keep going be the last one standing will serve. Many business owners very well

Natalie Franke
be the last one standing Jeffrey, I have no doubt that our listeners are going to want to learn more about you take the survey you’ve mentioned, check out the books you have published and get excited for your next one. Where can our listeners do that?

Jeffrey Shaw
Yeah, I would love for your listeners to take the survey because this gives them an opportunity. And there’s going to be a handful of peep of survey takers that we’re going to do further interviews with, so you could end up in the book. But again, I want the research from in the trenches, and your people are so in the trenches, and I love them. And I really would love them to take the survey, just go to self doubt. survey.com. So self doubt survey.com It can take a few minutes or it’s and people have said it’s very therapeutic. Because if you know you It asks a lot of probing questions, you don’t have to answer them all answer what you choose to, because some of them will require some thought, but it’s a good way to actually get get the conversation going within yourself about self doubt. So self doubt survey.com. And then my website is Jeffrey shaw.com. And they can find the books and everything else. They’re

Natalie Franke
amazing. And we will link all of that in the show notes. Jeffrey, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

Jeffrey Shaw
Thank you so much for having me.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Episode 17 Transcript: Using AI and technology mindfully to grow your business

Natalie Franke
When we talk about AI, one of the biggest challenges that business owners face is how do I discern when to lean into this technology and when not to? How do I streamline and automate and allow tech to be smart in my business while still maintaining my fingerprint on the outcome? In today’s conversation, I am sitting down with Lashonda Brown, she is a technology educator, a content creator, and a phenomenal human being that makes tech accessible so that you can truly work less and live more. If you are someone that leans into tech naturally, but wants to know what the future looks like. You’re gonna want to listen, if you are someone who has been intimidated by all of the new AI tools that are being released and truly just wants to hear from an expert on what the future might hold. You also want to listen, this conversation is packed with incredible information. And we end the episode with two tech tools that every independent business owner needs to know about, and I bet you’ve never heard of. So stick around until the end to make sure that you hear what they are. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.

Natalie Franke
One thing I hear all the time, over and over and over again, from business owners is they want freedom. Very rarely, though, do they connect the fact that that freedom is available to them through technology? And that technology can be a gateway to freedom? Do you I already

LaShonda Brown
feel like I agree. Net. Okay. Okay, so I agree completely, let’s

Natalie Franke
talk about it. So here’s the reality,

LaShonda Brown
a lot of people can diagnose the problem. But they are so slow to look for a solution. We’ll just start there. Once you realize that you want more time freedom, or more financial freedom, you need to start to look for SAS tools that are going to help you to get there. And the reason why I say SAS and I don’t say SAS isn’t sassy, I mean software as a service. Those tools are going to be affordable solutions to help you to tackle the problems that you have. A lot of people say like oh, well, I want to be these things. But I don’t have enough money. to.dot.we really need to reframe our mindset because technology is so much more accessible in the season than it ever was the software that these big corporations used to leverage to grow their businesses. Now it’s available to us for a monthly subscription or a yearly subscription. And so what we have to do is we have to become experts in diagnosing our own problems. And looking for the solutions for us, every tech tool is not right for every business, a lot of people get that wrong. So they hear oh, my friends using dot dot, well, that may not be great for you, because what you want is the time freedom. So maybe paying more for software is a better fit, because it gives you more time. Or maybe you want more financial freedom. So you need to look for a low cost solution that maybe takes a bit more time to execute. But it helps free up that money in your bank account. So we have to become better at understanding and being honest with ourselves like where am I not? What is everyone else doing? But where am I? And what software tool is going to fit my season of life and the lifestyle that I want?

Natalie Franke
Where do we start with that? How do you even uncover? You know what the software that you might need would be? Is there a way to kind of map your way there? What would recommendations do you have?

LaShonda Brown
Hands down the number one place to go if you are trying to find a software tool that will fit your situation is to go to YouTube. YouTube is the second largest search engine. It’s also owned by Google. And so what can happen if you type in that problem into the search bar and YouTube, you’re going to see a ton of solutions. From there, not only can you look at multiple solutions to the problem, but multiple creators who you can learn from, because not every creator is the right fit for you. Right. And so ultimately by searching and YouTube by supporting the Creator economy by looking at those videos and not skipping the ads, like truthfully, it does help you can find the tool that best fits where you are. And it’s not nearly as overwhelming as what appears on a Google search because there you have maybe images but not much to go off of other than the marketing copy that a product marketing manager may have created. So you want to hear from the people actually using the software people who are going to be honest about those pros and cons and the hacks and the tips. So I recommend to people who are currently overwhelmed by tech, go to YouTube Do you go to YouTube to figure out how to tie a tie, how to change a tire, you can go for your tech tools too. And honestly, the creators on YouTube are so so passionate about the tools that they spotlight, that it’s, it’s like an education and the software tool without even going to that company.

Natalie Franke
I love that there’s something to be said for truly learning first before leaping and implementing. And one thing that you said earlier on, was around, don’t just look at what other business owners are doing, and replicate their blueprint on your business. But actually start with your problems. Start with what you desire. And with where you’re getting stuck in the process of getting there. I’d be curious to know from you like, Have you ever been intimidated by technology tools? Is this something that’s always been really natural to you? Or Absolutely

LaShonda Brown
not? Truthfully, my background is theater. Okay. So when I tell you landing in the tech community, after being trained to play, pretend for a living is mind boggling to me. But what I started to realize is I kind of exists in this middle ground where I’ve used the tech tools as a small business owner, because my husband owns a video production company. And I have this theater background, which gives me the ability to break down really complex concepts, and give practical use cases because I’ve been there I’ve been in business over 10 years, I’ve never worked a full time job for anyone else. So I know what it’s like to bootstrap and be in the trenches. And so I kind of exist in that middle ground where I can think like a small business owner, but understand engineers and CEOs, I don’t know why. But for some reason, that’s how my brain works. And so ultimately, my community has learned to understand that it’s really helpful for me to set up that free trial for me to put those tech tools through the wringer and to report back and say, Hey, guys, I’m going to be completely honest with you. This is what it’s actually like, because I have the time to do that. Business owners don’t have the time to test out three to five free trials to figure out what’s a good fit. And so I love the fact that my community will reach out they will share Hey, I heard about this, have you tried it? Like, what do you think, and because they truly trust my opinion, my affiliate links performance, so incredibly high, because they’re the ones that turned me on to these tools. And so they want to reciprocate and support me by simply using my link. And so it’s a beautiful environment, where everyone is truly invested in each other’s growth. And I am just so thrilled to see what’s happening with that brand.

Natalie Franke
So much there. I love that, you know, the accessibility of technology is something that YouTube really makes possible, which is what I’m hearing and also even just the fact that you have access to so many different educators teaching in different styles and different ways with different insights and different opinions. There’s so much power in that. I also love hearing that tech isn’t always something that came naturally to you, as a business owner, myself, who is now working in tech, and started as a creative. I agree. And I think that there is so much intimidation that a lot of us feel in business where we know we should be doing something where we feel like, you know, I want that time freedom, oh, I want that creative freedom I want whatever it is. But there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to go. And that intimidation, that fear that fills that void that fills that gap keeps so many people from going after it and making it happen. Or they’ll say things like, I just don’t have time. Or I don’t want to spend the money on this tool. Right. And so I would love to kind of start with the question, what is the thing that business owners should not be doing manually? What are the things that you’re like, if you’re doing these things manually? I can already tell you, you got to stop. Can we get a little tough love? Can we get some honest heat here?

LaShonda Brown
So my friends like to call these moments, the mama Shonda moments, so we’re gonna have a mama Shonda moment. Everyone has a calendar. Okay, bare minimum. I’m sure you’re using some form of calendar. But you’re probably scheduling meetings manually. What I mean by that is you’re sending emails back and forth saying When are you free? Are you good on Friday. And even if you happen to have an online scheduler, I guarantee you that you’re not bridging the gap between your business and your personal life. If someone wants to have a coffee date with me that has nothing to do with business, they’re going through my online scheduler. And the reason why they’re doing that. The reason why I set it up that way, is because I want to establish from day one that my time is valuable. I think of it as marbles in a jar, I work 20 hours a week, I only have 20 Marbles, I cannot create more of them. If I give a marble to you, I don’t have that for someone else. And so if you’re going to take that marble away from a tech company or a coaching client, then I need you to be respectful of that time. I love what Laura Casey says, time is the currency that we invest in what matters most. And so it’s essential to me to be a good steward of my time, and the time of the people associated with me. So even in my personal life, and some people were turned off by it at first, and I’ll be honest with you, they were like Lashonda. Like, seriously, I know you, why are you sending me a link? And I was like, if you don’t, I’m going to forget, if you don’t, I’m going to be late. If you don’t, I’ve may not show up because I live my life by this calendar. So in order for me to show up as my best self for you at this coffee shop, I need you to take two minutes. And to use this link, and then on top of that, because I know how people are I live in the mountains. So people when they go out to lunch, they go out for hours. I say, Okay, let me Schedule A reminder a day before that says, Are we still on? Not? You’re scheduled for that. And I took the time to go in and edit that reminder, as if I was writing an original email and saying, Are we still on because I guarantee you what happens is people schedule it, life happens. And the day before they’re like oh crap, I need to tell her Shonda, I got to reschedule. And then that way, my automation is even negotiating the rescheduling of the coffee day, and you don’t even have to worry about I don’t have to worry about it. So what I encourage people to do is to really get in the weeds with your software, look at all the different things that the software is capable of doing, don’t just do bare minimum or what everyone else is doing. Because ultimately, the more that you can be efficient with your tech, the more you can set yourself up for the freedom that you actually want, whether that’s time or your finances, like, take the time to learn your tech to actually achieve the goals that you’re trying to set out to accomplish.

Natalie Franke
One of the eye opening realizations that I had, in my own business was around the fact that I had said, because you’re talking about like, dig deep into the tech really set it up, don’t just like sign up and not use it, which is what a lot of us are guilty of, but really become knowledgeable and build it to work for you. I had a realization that, you know, there were certain areas of my business where I just tolerated the brokenness, I tolerated the friction. I just accepted that this was how it had to be saying things like I don’t have time to XYZ, I don’t have time to automate XYZ setup XYZ connect to these two programs. So they work together, set up a scheduler, like put my honey book scheduler together, I don’t have time. And I said that for so long that then I realized the amount of time that was wasted, compounded that because I didn’t take the five minutes, the 15 minutes, the 30 minutes to do it right from the start. Over the course of several years. Now we’re talking hours.

LaShonda Brown
Well, and here’s another thing to consider. When you find that friction in your business that you’re talking about that you feel, Oh, I can tolerate, it’s not that bad. You have to think to yourself, there is probably someone who is passionate about fixing this problem. And I’m robbing them of the opportunity to serve me well, by just letting it be broken, broken for me broken for my clients and a job loss for them. There are experts in every single software out there, you have your HoneyBook pros, you have your camera verified experts, you have these people who are ready and willing to serve and help you Yeah. And so when you find those friction points in your business, instead of just letting that thorn in your flesh, they say, wait a minute, this is an opportunity for me to support another business. Let me go seek out somebody who loves this. Someone who loves accounting, someone who loves writing contracts, someone who loves setting up HoneyBook let me equip them with an opportunity to serve me well so that I can serve other people. So we have to stop thinking about ourselves and this on this island. Like we we are a part of a community. You know, we are a part of a community of global entrepreneurs who are really trying to do their best to make it in the world and to have you find an opportunity for someone else to have a job. Go for that, you know, don’t tolerate the friction but see it as an opportunity and not a problem. And if everyone really started to reframe their mindset that this problem is an opportunity for someone else to thrive. It would change the landscape of the Creator economy but we’re so fixated on focusing on ourselves that we’re missing out on opportunities to help other people

Natalie Franke
and sometimes those other people are so much better at it than you guys better

LaShonda Brown
be and I and that’s the thing, even I could take the time to learn some software and even I will hire out for certain things. Because again, I have 20 Marbles, right? If you know Brianna can do something in an hour that will take me five it’s worth paying Brianna. Yes. Do you know what I’m saying? So like first half does we have to start thinking I was I’m reading an article one time that was talking about productivity. And it really reshaped the way that I looked at it. Productivity is about how quickly can we get things done? How can we do things in the least amount of time? Not? How can we do the most things, entrepreneurs are used to doing the most, we’re not used to being the most efficient. And so I’m thriving, working less, I’m more productive and 20 hours than I ever wasn’t 60. That’s the truth. And so there are too many people who wear their busyness, like a badge of honor, and they’re burning out left and right. Technology can do it for you, or people can do it for you. When you look at what you have to do in your business, you either need to be eliminating things that you don’t need to be doing. You need to be delegating things that another person can do better or faster, or you need to be automating your processes. And so as business owners, we have got to become more used to slowing down so we can speed up in our businesses.

Natalie Franke
Okay, what about the people that say, I struggle with letting technology do it? Because then it’s going to lose that human touch? Like I’m so I don’t want to, you know, leverage AI or I don’t want to set up an automation. I don’t want to do a scheduling link, because I it has to come from me. What do you say to that? What is your thought on that? I mean, obviously, there’s there’s room where experience that is personalized is paramount. But is that the case in every single aspect of the client flow? Have you ever experienced that fear of letting tech take over something used to do manually?

LaShonda Brown
I think people need to ultimately think about what is the outcome that you’re going for? Right? So I personally, let’s give an example of scheduling an appointment. My hairstyle is, I love her. We are best friends. She’s been doing my hair since I was 18. I could text her to schedule an appointment, but it would take me hours because she’s busy. She’s at the chair, she’s going back and forth at lunch. And whenever having a scheduling link for her gives me a better experience. I’m okay not being able to talk to her because I’m able to get what I need faster. And so that’s so much more important. I was talking to a friend one time about like the carwash. Like I’m so weird about creating little routines. And so I have a little routine that I go through a little carwash after I go to church on Sunday. And yes, I’m completely capable of washing a car like I know how to do it. But the supplies, I would have to buy the shop back, I would have to pull out of my basement, all these different things are not worth my time, I would much rather take the three minutes and go through the automated carwash than to wash my car in my yard. And so yes, that’s less personal than me washing my own car. But I don’t care about that I’d rather have the time. So I would rather spend the money. Yes, it’s cheaper to do it at home, but it is faster. And it’s fun. I call it the little confetti machine. I go through and spray stuff in my car, and I love it. So that’s what I want out of life. So what do your customers want? Do they want speed? Or do they want to talk to you? Because a lot of people want things to be quicker

Natalie Franke
86% of clients book the business that response first. That is research that we just did, we interviewed it and we’ll link it in the show notes. 86% of clients just book the business that gets back to them first. So what I’m hearing you say and what is so critical, and I just hope you take this away is so often we make assumptions that aren’t even rooted in truth. We assume if I don’t send the email, if I don’t click the button, it doesn’t mean as much. Well, here’s

LaShonda Brown
the other thing, when you have that mindset, right that I can’t book a client, unless I’m the one that talks to them, I don’t want the software talking to them first, you are automatically limiting the amount of money you can make. You have to think about a global mindset. If you’re asleep on the East Coast and someone in India wants to hire you, you’re not awake when they are and vice versa. So you are eliminating so many potential customers from your business because you’re so fixated on the control of being the person to talk to them. So you have to open up your mindset to say my software can work 24/7 I can only work five to eight hours a day. So think about Wow, my possibilities of making money. Someone buy my digital product at two o’clock in the morning, someone watching my YouTube video at you know 5pm in a different time zone that’s worth the effort to learn the Tech because I can help more people. I can generate more income by getting over that hump with technology. And so I encourage people if you are not a tech savvy person, I hear that all the time. I’m not tech savvy. Find someone who is find someone who teaches in a way that does make you anxious. Find someone who when you watch their content on YouTube, you come with overwhelm and you leave inspired to take action. When you find those people when you find your people subscribe and support them and ask questions, even if they don’t have content on their channel that addresses the problems you’re having in your business. SLIDE into their DMS. That’s why I have this mindset of tip jars and ways for people to reciprocate because it opens up that conversation, instead of you creating content and avoid or serving and avoid, give people a way to talk to you, because it makes it easier for everybody. So I know that technology, at face value seems like something that’s above your paygrade or overwhelming or stressful and running a business, it’s already so stressful or you feel like you don’t have the time. I would encourage you look at your business. Is there something you can eliminate from your plate that you’re doing right now? And if you really don’t know, there are books, there are so many books, essentialism is one of my favorites, like take the time to say what can I offload to free up the time to watch a YouTube video to free up the time for a free trial to free up the time to Google who’s an expert in this tool. Because I will tell you right now, the life that I’m living now, as someone who embraces technology, versus someone who was intimidated or afraid by it is so much more free. It’s so much more fun. I spend more time offline now than I did before. Because technology is working when I’m being present. And so a lot of people have this perception that when I dig into tech, that I’m going to lose my humanity. When I start using AI, I’m going to lose my humanity. And truly, leveraging technology frees you up to be your best self. That’s the truth. And if someone hasn’t told you that, now I have, but that’s the truth. Technology doesn’t have to be intimidating. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. And ultimately, when you really start to dig deep, it actually becomes fun. Because you realize, like, wow, I can accomplish so much more or so much faster. Because some developer in some basement, and some dark, dimly lit room because they all do that. I don’t know why. But some developer created this tech that allows me to put my phone down when I’m when I’m with my kids, that allows me to leave my laptop in the car, when I’m out to dinner with my significant other like, technology can be incredible, if you let it. So all of those common misconceptions, we have to be willing to let those things go and to give tech another chance. And that’s why when you have tools, you know, like your honey books that are saying, Look, your invoicing, your contracts, your all these different things that maybe you were using separate tools to do, I’m going to give you more time freedom and financial freedom by getting rid of all those subscriptions and consolidating things in one spot. So you can see your customer journey in one place versus being spread out all over the internet. And then if your business scales to the point where you can pass that along to someone else, you can see that pass communication. And so I just think the possibilities are endless. If people are more open minded, do not look at the news and what they say about AI. Look at what people are saying on YouTube. That’s real life. Those are real people telling real stories. Don’t let the media paint the picture that you’re looking at, to reframe your life.

Natalie Franke
One of the things that you touched on as you were running through a bunch of that was just you kept coming back to the client. I kept hearing, you know, sort of like, you know, we’re talking about the business owners the fear of time, the fear of this, that in the other. But then you also have saying it’s easier for the client, it’s easier for the client, and I want to double click into that, then I want to go back to AI. But I want to double click into that, because one of the things that I’ve been talking a lot about, and I’ve just loved, I want your take on this is what we’ve kind of started calling the Amazon ification of client expectations. And it’s this reality that business owners experience more as a pain. But it’s the fact that because we’ve kind of been trained now to get anything that we want, whenever we want it have full visibility into how something works, be able to get access 24 hours a day, the big companies can do that. Now we’re moving into an era where tech is making it possible for the business a small the independence to actually be able to have their business operating like you said 24 hours a day while they’re out living their lives. And we feel like we’re coming up against some of those client expectations. Do you feel like expectations have become greater in the past couple of years for business owners or just for customers in general? Like do they want more? Are they expecting more? You know, you even mentioned the scheduler like I’m thinking about it I’m like When you’re talking to your hairstylist, you’re like, I want to be able to book it when I want to book it. But so much of the conversation is always about how the business owner feels. But in that moment, I was hearing how the client feels. So I’m curious on your take about this potential change in client expectations? What do you know, for the independent business owner listening? What are their clients really want? What is Tech really helping those clients to experience it’s better in the client flow of the business,

LaShonda Brown
it goes back to having a community mindset, you can make a lot of assumptions of what you think your customer wants. But until you give them the chance to talk to you, I guarantee you’re probably off the mark because you are not your customer. Right? You’re teaching you’re providing a service you you’re making a product, you are not your customer. So don’t rest on a your opinion, let them talk to you. Whether it is a survey or a live stream or responding to an email, talk to your customer and say, Look, would you like this to be a high touch or a high tech situation? Would you want more access to me? Or are you more interested in a faster response time, like just tell me all the time, right now on my Instagram, I say helped me make my content helped me serve you. Well, how can I serve you ask your customer. But I think one of the things that I’m seeing happening as well. In an age where we’re embracing technology more than before, we’re also embracing handcrafted, and bespoke things more than before. Right. So now people are getting back into records, then Spotify, they’re getting into I want to shop small and go into a boutique, I don’t want to order on Amazon. They’re saying I would rather receive a hamlet written note versus an email. And so ultimately, we find ourselves in the tension between the two people crave offline more deeply. But they also love the reality of tech. And so the only way that you’re going to know where your customers fall is to have that conversation. You don’t need to operate your business with this mindset of I’m a megaphone, all I’m doing is putting information out there. As business owners, we are not megaphones. We need a telephone, we need to have a conversation. It needs to be a two way situation. But too often people fall into that, you know, habit of just, I’m just posting on Instagram. I’m just posting on Facebook, I’m just posting it, you know. And the reality is, that’s not conversational. And so you’re making your life more difficult by not leaning into community by trying to guess what people need instead of simply asking them the question. And so we have got to in this age of technology, be more human, have the conversation, talk to your customers face to face, if you can, people are leaning into meetups again, people are, you know, doing zoom calls. And it’s funny, I’m listening to some of these strategies from huge influencers. And they’re talking about the fact that their conversion rate is higher on an informal zoom call than a formal webinar. Because people can see faces, people can see you it feels so much more genuine and accessible. And so sometimes low tech gives you better results.

Natalie Franke
I love this. Oh, I this is this is gold. This is gold. We were talking not not too too long ago, maybe last night, maybe over shark eatery, possibly last night, maybe you charcuterie last night as well about how, you know sometimes as a business owner, you build this business and you build it truly based on you know, like, we’ve talked about what you think people want, or what you know, you see somebody else doing. And we can get really caught into these bubbles, right? We can get as independence we can because there’s no you know, like, here’s the university for how to run an independent business in your particular niche on your particular demographic with the clients that you want to work with. There is no perfect guidebook to what you do. So you’re constantly out there searching out, they’re looking to your left to your right, how are they doing it? How are they figuring it out? This is what I think I should do. I’m just gonna run with it. And one thing that you do really well is that you have those conversations, I would love for you to share some of the ways that you do that. What are some some really easy ways that independents can start to facilitate those conversations to uncover with their clients actually want to learn what their customers truly care about whether that’s in regards to the client flow? And like we said, do they want the personalized email? Or do they just want to make sure that you get to them right away and you give them autonomy to choose when to meet with you? How do you facilitate those conversations? Is it on social media? Is it in person? What are some quick ways that we can get folks to start thinking thinking beyond just remaining in that silo?

LaShonda Brown
The random thing I discovered within the last few months is my community loves live streaming on YouTube. And I did some more digging, because I’m like, people aren’t really leveraging YouTube in that way. They’re doing the whole megaphone approach where they’re posting and go send them like, Is there room for live streaming on this platform. And I found a tool called stream yard. And the way that I describe it, it’s a glorified zoom call. So if you’re intimidated by the fact that you’ve never heard the name, it is literally like a zoom call. But the truth is, when I livestream through that platform, I’m able to multi stream to LinkedIn, and to YouTube. And so I’m able to engage the communities that I most value. And when people comment, what’s really exciting about the software is you can highlight the comment on screen. So when people say something to you, and you put their comment with their name, and their photo on screen for everyone to see, automatically, you communicate to them, I see you and I hear you. And when I tell you, I have launched workshops through that community stream, I have generated passive income for my tech partners, I have generated super chats, because you can actually be tipped while you’re streaming, which is crazy with YouTube. And so ultimately, I schedule a I call them work with me sessions Mondays at 10. And I literally teach on a topic which they choose. And then we have a 25 minute Pomodoro session, and we plan our week. And when I carve out that time on Monday morning to start my week by engaging my community in a very practical, intentional way. It feels me for the week ahead. Most people on a Monday, they’re not excited about their week, they’ve lost sight of why they do what they do. But having those community calls giving my community an opportunity to ask questions to engage with me live and get answers, and to support them and planning their week and setting an intention for what am I actually trying to get done. It has absolutely changed the way that I market. So I don’t need to push so hard on the other platforms. And the crazy part is, when you livestream through YouTube, as soon as the stream ends, it becomes a YouTube video. And anyone else who watches it, you get views on your channel. So immediately you have a replay, you don’t even have to worry about creating a replay or re uploading it. It’s already there. And everyone who watched it live counts as a view. And so I turn on monetization. And on top of being able to talk to my community, now I’m generating passive income just by talking to them. And so I love YouTube for small business because I get paid to market my business and other platforms are not doing that. Well. YouTube has compensated their creators in a better way than any other platform for years. And so I encourage people, if they find themselves burnout, by creating content on other platforms, try live streaming, because you are literally creating your content and people are consuming it in real time. That’s a way to free up time. How much time are you spending making Instagram content? You think you don’t have time for these titles, but I guarantee you your content creation time making those candidate graphics dancing to your reels. If you took that time and reinvested it into YouTube, your business would skyrocket. Because videos that I posted months ago, or my top videos right now, years ago, are still making me money, who’s digging in your Instagram posts that are two years old? And so people think they don’t have time. But what they haven’t done is been critical and honest with themselves about what is the ROI? What is the return for what I’m doing here? And am I even being paid to market? Because that’s the reality if you leverage that tech tool. So there are platforms that will pay you to talk to your customers. Be honest with yourself, is it worth it? And are you getting back the time? Or the freedom that you actually want? Again, getting back to why am I doing this in the first place. And so I encourage people to strategically unplug. We are too plugged into tech, take time to breathe to let your brain recalibrate, to relax, and rest. Because it’s a whole lot easier for you to be honest with yourself when you’re not inundated with notifications. So just take some time on the weekend. Don’t work on Saturday, take some time away and be honest like hmm, was I the most productive this week? Did I get the most done in the least amount of time if I didn’t? What’s one thing I can change the next week?

Natalie Franke
I love that. I want to circle back to AI. We can’t leave without talking. It’s like the hot topic in the room. And I have a love hate relationship with it. Let’s go there because I think a lot of people will either have a love hate relationship with it? They have a hope fear relationship with it. Or they’re intimidated. And they won’t even approach it because it doesn’t feel like it’s for them. Yeah. How are you feeling about AI?

LaShonda Brown
My biggest bone to pick with AI is people are just not doing the research. They think they understand what AI actually is. We have been utilizing AI for decades, we just didn’t call it that. AI is a key word. It is a term that the marketing industry decided to start using to describe tech tools. But you have been using automation artificial intelligence for a very long time. So by a concept, AI is not bad. It’s not bad. It’s not good. It just is okay. That’s the truth, right? So we leverage AI every single day. My problem, though, is that there are people who are taking shortcuts, that should be manually done with AI, right? They’re Outsourcing Things to AI that really needs their handprint on it. And so that’s my biggest fear. My biggest fear is that the quality of what’s created goes down. Because people are offloading things to AI that should have never been there. And so I just think people just need to be honest about it. You know, certain things are better done by tech. But certain things need your unique spin on it. Don’t put that into some tech tool, take the time to put your handprint on it. So it’s unique to you. Don’t create your own competition by leveraging a tool everybody else is using sometimes you got to do it manual. And so I think it’s always that dance. Tech is wonderful. But tech isn’t everything we are still human beings and human beings are still needed in business.

Natalie Franke
How do you discern? That’s the challenge because I agree that we were on the train Akua and I were on the train coming in actually to do to do this conversation. And I couldn’t think of a subject line for my email. And I was struggling with it. And it was, you know, funny story. I couldn’t come up with subject line. And it was like, let’s just try chat GVT. So we hop in there. And I asked chat to UBT to help. And when I tell you we were cackling we were the subject lines. We asked it to be funny, and it delivered. It was really funny. And I ended up including in the email like the subject line was written by Chad GBT. And here were the other ones. Which one would you would have chosen did it. But the discernment process, there is the challenge because I don’t know myself like, how do you discern when to use it when not to use it? Is it solely based on what the customer wants? When do your own unique talents and giftings come into play? Is it something where because I had heard somebody even on Twitter, say like, I don’t want AI to Paint me a Picture. Right? They’re like, I want to paint the picture, right? I want AI to do everything else so that I can go paint the picture.

LaShonda Brown
Well, and I want to support the artists, right?

Natalie Franke
So let’s talk about discernment. Like how does somebody if somebody’s listening to this, they’re saying, Okay, I’m starting to explore AI. I want to explore more tech tools. But I just I don’t know how to discern where I need to lean in versus lean out how to use it correctly, how not to use it correctly. Do you have any advice?

LaShonda Brown
You don’t have to start with a deepen, you can dip your toes in it, you know. So, you know, there is a tool on the back end of Canva called Magic, right? You know, they use the word magic to describe AI to make it more accessible. And so the reality is if you are staring at a blank piece of paper, and it’s going nowhere, okay, save yourself the time to just, you know, pull the ripcord and get things started, you know, you’re not reliant on AI to write your article for you. But maybe it’s just getting your brain going. Because otherwise you’d waste a ton of time not doing the thing, right. So that’s a situation where you can dip your toes in. And I think also there are certain things that are just tasks, right, these little menial tasks that add up and take time away from our day. Those are little things that you can delegate, you know, Zapier is another tool like you can use Zapier to connect tools and say, You know what, I don’t need to manually put this contact over here, like if I check if the mazing Yeah, and so like you have these different tools out there that can take those little things off your plate and essentially, that’s your ai ai doesn’t just have to be you know, copywriting for you. But I a friend of mine is a copywriter and it’s like I really had to think to myself like is chat GPT going to eliminate the need for copywriters and at the end of the day, I think it’s actually going to be the opposite. copywriters are more valuable because everyone thinks they’re a writer now, just like when you know, DSLR cameras came out. Everybody thought they were a photographer until they had to edit those photos. Do you know what I mean? So it’s like, we are fearful of tech until we realize that human beings are irreplaceable, you know, and so I thing, just start with the small things, we don’t have to throw our entire business into some tech tool, we can delegate little things to free us up to be more creative, and to be more human in our businesses.

Natalie Franke
I love that. I absolutely love that. And you know, we’ve been rolling out our new AI features, and we’re investing pretty heavily in them. And one of them, like you mentioned Canvas magic, right? You know, we have, we’re coming out with an email composer that is going to eliminate that need to just stare at the blank email screen going right? How do I navigate responding to this, it will help you, you know, there may be moments where you don’t even need to touch it. But there’s gonna be more often than not moments where it’s just getting you three quarters of the way there so that you can use your humaneness in the most, like we’ve said, productive time possible. And I think there’s so much so much power in that truly, I would love to know from you. Are there some tools that you’re really excited about that exist? Like we obviously love honey buck here, we’ve heard about Canva we all love you know, these are amazing tools. I’d be curious. You know, we were chatting actually about one yesterday called groove like, what are some of these other platforms and tools that for independent business owners listening? They can’t walk away from this conversation having not learned about it? Do you have any fun ones for us?

LaShonda Brown
Yeah, so I definitely have to give groov a shout out simply because it’s a really cool hybrid between tech and humanity. Right. So groov is a way for you to virtually co work with anyone around the world and get more done. So it turns on a video camera and it sends out a push notification to up to three other people. You say what you intend on doing, then it switches to text where you can check things off your checklist, and then you come back to regroup and see how it went. And so that’s a really interesting hybrid between knowing that there are real people doing real things, helps you to accomplish more, because it leverages the concept of body doubling, which actually helps people with ADHD get more done. So if that is a huge thing right now is so many people are struggling with ADHD, you can use tech to help you to be more productive by leveraging an app like Kruth. Another one that I love, and I really think honestly, it’s perfect for you know, people who are parents or just have people that they have to care for is many chat, because a lot of us understand engaging on Instagram helps your post before more, but they cannot be by their phone at all times of the day responding to comment. So what is what is many chat. So many chat is essentially a software that utilizing key words, you can automatically respond to comments, or DMS. And so everyone has seen this, but a lot of people don’t know what tech tool is actually doing the work. So if you see a post or a reel that says comment, and it has a keyword, what’s happening on the back end of mini chat is many chat is hearing that keyword and saying when someone uses this word, whether it’s on this post or any post, respond in this way, and it goes into the DMS, it could be a response to the comment, but that’s the one that I tend to use. And so I have noticed people’s Instagram engagement goes up, people are generating more income, because the real money on Instagram is made in the DMS not on the feed. And so you’re leveraging this very inexpensive tech tool to free up time and actually provide better customer service, because you can’t be by your phone at all times. And so those two things are just two tools that aren’t super popular, but really effective and helping the independent business community. Because we all need to get stuff done. And we all would rather not be an Instagram all day.

Natalie Franke
All right, I I’m going to see if by the time we publish this, I can integrate mini chat into my Instagram. And if I can, what we will do is we will include in one of the reels the opportunity, like I want to see if we can use it, can we use it?

LaShonda Brown
We could use it on the reel of this episode. Let’s do it. Yeah, we just have, we could hide a little easter egg keyword

Natalie Franke
because this would be soap, I can just imagine how powerful this would be for all sorts of business owners. It’s been I’ve seen it a lot used with, you know, content creators and educators. I’ve seen it used a lot in the influencer marketing space or even like the, you know, fashion industry where they’ll be like, comment, you know, look, if you want my outfit, I’ve seen that used quite a bit. But the use cases for this technology are so vast and yet to be discovered, I can just imagine what our listeners could do with it. So we will try. We’ll try to get to that. And if you’re listening, maybe pop over to the Instagram account and see. And I’ll make sure we’ll include all of that in the show notes so you know where to go. But before we close this out, there’s one question that I ask all of my guests on the podcast and there’s no right or wrong answer, but I really love getting to unpack every business undertake on this. And so I would love to know from you Lashonda What do you believe is the biggest differentiator between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail

LaShonda Brown
the business? says that succeed in business are the ones who know that you are constantly in a state of evolution. In the tech community, there is a framework called Agile. And what it is, is essentially you’re putting tech out there in the world, knowing good and well, there will be bugs, there will be issues, we will need to continue to refine. But if we don’t launch it, we can’t learn. And so the businesses that tend to succeed the most are the ones who are willing to say, I’m willing to put it out there and continue to refine it over time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, because what I’m actually trying to accomplish is serving my people well, so let me put it out there. Here’s the beta test. Here’s phase one, be honest about that, and then continue to grow. So many people want it to be perfect before they let people look at it. And the tech community understands there will always be room for growth. So having that mindset, being humble enough to say, I can always learn more, I can always do it slightly better, is going to help you to stay in business longer.

Natalie Franke
I love it. This has been so good. So powerful. For folks listening who want to find you want to learn more, where can they do that?

LaShonda Brown
The best place to find me is bootstrap best advice on YouTube. Subscribe. Don’t skip the ads. I love you. You can also go to the Shona brown.com to join the bootstrap Club, which is the place where I share information that doesn’t get posted on Instagram, the real life behind the scenes of what it looks like to be a full time creator to work 20 hours a week. So if you if you want the realness, go to Lashonda brown.com. If you want to learn go to bootstrap best advice.

Natalie Franke
Thank you so much for joining me today.

LaShonda Brown
Thanks for having me.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Bonus Transcript: Meta Threads

Natalie Franke
Hey everyone, this is your host, Natalie Franke, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So, on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success. So that you mentioned

Natalie Franke
over the past couple of days, there has been one subject that has filled every social media feed every conversation and distracted nearly every employee and or business owner that I know if my boss is listening to this. I’m sorry. And I’m talking about threads the constant scrolling the conversation, the new app launched by meta last week that has completely taken over the internet, we’re talking about one of the most successful launches that I have ever witnessed. And in today’s episode of The Independent Business Podcast, we are talking specifically about the lessons that every independent business needs to be taking away from this launch. Akua is joining me, I’m so excited to dive in. How are you doing today? Akua? How’d you sleep last night? Did you get any sleep are really scrolling on threads?

Akua Konadu
I mean, I’m tired. But I’m excited to be here about this conversation. Because there’s just so much to unpack in such a short amount of time. It is wild. So I’m excited for us to just hop in and talk about it.

Natalie Franke
I think all business owners feel a little bit like we’re drinking from a firehose, on any given day, right? And then you add threads on top of it. And I jokingly said we went from you know what another app to this is my whole personality. Now in all of 30 seconds in our in many, many aspects of our community. We witnessed this unfold. And so yes, we’re getting into it. We’re talking about it. For folks who don’t know, let’s just start off there. What is threads? Tell us about it. What is threats?

Akua Konadu
Yeah, so threads is very, it’s meta meta is version of Twitter. It’s a text based social media platform. And it’s just so simple. You know what I mean? I just I love it. It’s amazing. It’s really simple to use. And what’s really crazy about it is that 2 billion people use Instagram every month. And so just even the success for threads is like 15 to 20% of Instagram users move over to use threads. It has the potential to surpass Twitter, roughly 300 million users. And it’s wild to me to think that because it’s such a simple platform, like there’s not even a lot of features right now available, but everybody is just flooding to it 30 million in a few hours.

Natalie Franke
Right. Right. No, I saw that. When when Zuck posted that I visibly gasped and our friend, you know, Don Richardson, who is episode eight on the podcast, she talks about AI and she’s just a tech genius. She jokingly I saw her post on threads, you know, Chad GPT, you know, like, hit this number of users. And meta was like, hold my beer, right? That’s really how it felt. And just to give some context, in terms of adoption, like when we say this was a successful launch, and there are learnings that all of us should be taking away from it. This is what I mean by that. If we look at the amount of time it took for other platforms to reach their first 1 million users, it took Netflix, 3.5 years, Twitter, two years, Facebook, 10 months, Spotify, five months, chat GPT, five days, and threads a couple of hours, to hit their first 1 million users. This is rapid adoption at its finest. And I think that that alone, regardless of whether this apps, you know, six sustains and continues to grow. Regardless of whether this app becomes something you use every day in your business. Regardless of whether this is even a place you can or should market yourself. The truth of the matter remains, this was a wildly successful launch. And there is a lot that we can take away. But before we do that, I also want to talk about what this episode is not going to cover. Because in the prep for this this morning, I quit and I ruined back and forth on voice memo. We were reading all the articles, we were asking our community members what they wanted to know about. And we made a decision very early on that this episode is not going to cover a couple of things. Do you want to share what those things are?

Akua Konadu
Yeah, I think number one is just, you’re not going to be hearing of how to leverage this for your business, right? Like how to go about it. We’re not talking about that this app literally just came out two days ago, they’re still this is supposed to be a really fun time, right when a new app comes out. This is your opportunity to experiment, see what works for you see even how you want to even show up on the app. We’re not here to tell you right now how to leverage that for your business. But we are here to tell you are these core lessons that we think are important for business owners to know from in regards to the launch This app,

Natalie Franke
I know, it’s really sexy for marketers and creators to talk about, like how I went viral and gained a billion followers in five minutes or created, you know, this massive platform and made so much revenue with zero effort. And, you know, I don’t want to say that threads will never be a place where we market ourselves. And we’ll get into that in a second. And I don’t think it’ll ever be a place where, you know, I’m not going to say it won’t ever be a place where you’re going to see that type of content, because realistically, you will, but it’s the wrong place and the wrong time. And I don’t think that’s, you know, a space where we really want to help you and moving your business forward. Because frankly, as it was said, we’re talking about this is hours old, this is brand spankin. New, we have evidence from other platforms on how we might anticipate the algorithm works or how we might think that things will unfold. But what we do know is that there are enough learnings to take away just from those past few hours just from this initial launch, that we want to start here, we want to focus here we will talk a little bit about some some hot takes on marketing yourself on the platform later on in the episode. But I just I felt we felt it was necessary to be like, Look, here’s what we’re not covering. We’re not gonna tell you how to go viral here. We’re not gonna tell you how to scale your business in five minutes. That’s just not virtual. It’s not our vibe, but also, it’s not valuable to you. period right now, especially it’s not. Let’s talk though, about an analysis of meadows incredibly successful launch. Yeah, we’ll kick it off with the first lesson.

Akua Konadu
The first lesson is you don’t need to be first to be successful. And the reason why we wanted to talk about this is because Mark Zuckerberg he has built we all know what he is known for stealing other people’s ideas honey and stealing other as you said, as you said it we all know it right? He was it’s true Instagram Stories from Snapchat, there used to be IG TV way back in the day that was from YouTube that doesn’t even exist anymore. Completely forgot about that, that just like came in, right like so many reels from Tik Tok. And let’s talk about when they first came out with reels tick tock was at the height that was the everybody was on that platform, the amount of users was at its highest. And Instagram just decided to just launch reels with what they had. Because I remember that there were a lot of limitations in reels compared to Tik Tok, but Instagram just launched it. And guess what, we all still used it, no problem. And so now fast forward to also threads. It was the timing was impeccable. Because Twitter has no decorum. It’s chaotic. It’s just everybody is acting out on Twitter. And ever since Elon Musk took over, it’s been a free for all and not in a good way. It’s become an extremely toxic platform. But then, and I think people are still hanging on because that’s all we have. But I think it was another tipping point when literally just last week, Elon Musk Twitter announced consumption limits, where now you will only see a limited amount of tweets per day. And it was a way to encourage people to sign up for that blue checkmark. Because if you signed up for that blue checkmark, then you got to see more tweets. I was like, you’re still not getting me with that, sir. I’ll just take whatever you give me, and I’ll be on my way, I don’t have time, I’m not doing it. So they saw that. And I think they were like, all right, like, let’s just launch this and launch it now. And I think that played such a huge role into why people immediately were just like, Alright, I’m super excited to just hop into it. And I think the lesson that you can learn here is that we feel like, you know, when we’re coming up with this idea, we have to be the first person to do it in order for it to be successful. And that’s just not true. If medica can do it and take these ideas and fill the gaps. They saw the gaps. They listened to what their customers wanted, and took an idea and just innovated it made it easier made it better and leaned into that. Why can’t you do it? You know, so

Natalie Franke
often we hear independent business owners say, well, it’s already been done. It’s already been done. So I can’t do it. It’s already been done, when perhaps we should instead be asking questions like, you know, how can we innovate? How can we differentiate what part of the status quo is not working? What is broken, what needs to be fixed? And I think, you know, going back to that initial point, doing it faster, and being the first does not guarantee success. However, if you never get started, because you also say, well, it’s already been done. You’re essentially guaranteeing failure. Yes, right, of that idea. And so I think this is a really powerful challenge to us as business owners to just, you know, really question some of those those hypotheses that we have about what will make a launch and initiative, a service that we’re now offering successful or not, and these barriers that we essentially build for ourselves in our own minds around well, she He’s already done it. So I can’t. He already said that. So there’s no way I can contribute to the conversation. People prefer to hear it from them. So why should I speak up? Why should I have a voice? Why should I give my opinion, this is one of those moments where we’re yet again uncovering that the status quo can be disrupted, and that there is space in the marketplace for you. And I love that I really love that stagnation in any industry, is just an opportunity waiting for disruption, which leads us to our second lesson that we can take away from the launch of threads. Here we go. Launch and learn as you grow. Failure is a foundation for future success. Yes. Tell us what we mean about this. What are we trying to get out here?

Akua Konadu
Yeah, so when we were researching y’all, we found this article, and I think we’re gonna link it in the show notes. It’s from Digiday. And so they wrote an article all about threads. And in a section of the article, I didn’t even know this, I just learned this. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I wanted to ask y’all and just think about it for a second, this thread sound familiar to you? Because what we learned was, this is not the first time that Instagram attempted to launch threads. So back in October of 2019, Facebook launch threads from Instagram. And that was supposed to be a companion app for Instagram users who wanted to keep in touch with their closest friends on the app. So back then that iteration of threads was less than of a more like it was less of a Twitter rival and more of an alternative to Snapchat. And so they weren’t trying to own the concept of just being a photo focus, mobile messenger service, but it didn’t gain traction at all. And so it’s like, eventually rolled into the Instagram app as what we know today as closest friends.

Natalie Franke
Oh, well, I mean, I feel like Instagram has a history of launching things at an MVP level, or like a minimum viable product level where it’s just enough that we can sink our teeth in, right? And then they grow and build from there. They don’t wait until something is perfect in order to iterate on it. But then again, building upon that, they’re not afraid to do something. And if it doesn’t work out the way that they expect, you know, pivot, pivot, and then even revisit the idea, like it sounds like they did here with threads at a later date under a different landscape. Right. They see Twitter declining, they’re going, huh. I think there’s an opportunity in the market here for a textbook based platform, which is what Zuckerberg said verbatim, and they did it. Right. They they didn’t allow maybe an initial launch of something and iteration that they first did, and didn’t turn out the way that they expected to keep them from ever revisiting that. And I feel like I even heard and correct me if I’m wrong here that there are some some speculation that they even use some of the initial code, like from that launch to be used for threads. Now,

Akua Konadu
I wouldn’t be surprised would not but I didn’t it didn’t say an article, but would not be surprised at all. I think dig and see, yes, we definitely will. But I think it goes to show that when you were on your entrepreneurial journey, and you’re in certain seasons, and things aren’t making sense. And then when you get to that destination, and every single thing that you walked through every single learning every single piece of failure led you to this specific moment that you were at today. And that is something that this launch showed they had they they decided to take a chance and launch this specific feature, it didn’t go as planned the vision that they had for it. So they evolved, they evolved and made it a different type of feature, but then they took what they learned and created threads.

Natalie Franke
Yes. And sometimes it’s not the wrong thing. It’s just the wrong time. Yeah, that’s, that’s also, you know, something we forget, as business owners, we’ll try something and it doesn’t work, it was out. That’s just never going to work again. Whereas maybe the timing wasn’t right. Maybe it wasn’t what people needed. And especially, you know, the last three years, we’ve been through a lot. And so what we need has changed. How we’re feeling today is not the way we were feeling two years ago, you know, when I say that you’d like how are you feeling in 2020, march 2020, if you tried to launch something, then or even in 2021 2022 was a very different landscape. And so sometimes the idea wasn’t the part of the equation that didn’t add up. Right. Sometimes it ultimately was the timing. And I think that’s, that’s important for us to remember too.

Akua Konadu
So the third lesson, which I thought was really, really good, critical feedback is a gift if we are willing to receive it. And so I want to share your points on that because they weren’t they were good.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, look, there is always going to be critical feedback and meta has had its fair share. Over the years, I have been incredibly vocal about a lot of my issues with Instagram in particular, and just mainly as it impacts independent business owners. But one thing in particular, that’s that’s important note about threads is that, you know, well a lot of creators loved the shift towards more visual assets. likes of Instagram, it’s always been a photo based, you know, originated, I should say as a photo sharing app and then has moved into an entertainment app. People did love some the shift to video, but a lot didn’t. There was a lot of complaint about the overemphasis on the algorithm when it came to video. And that was a very, very loud, disruptive part of the conversation for quite a while. And what’s interesting is that, you know, whenever we receive critical feedback, it can be so easy for us to just immediately dismiss it be like, I don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell me what you don’t like, I don’t have the emotional capacity to navigate that right now. Like just, it’s it’s easy to get defensive, and to not listen and write and to like, just go in a different direction, or keep pursuing the direction that we want to pursue without the input of our clients or customers, in this case, users. But what’s what’s important to note here is that threads in a lot of ways, whether intentional or not, is a solution to that very vocal complaint. In a world where Instagram became, you know, such a heavy lift for creators to navigate, meaning they had to create the video, the photo, there was so much work that went into simply hitting publish with threads, you barely have to lift your fingers, right, you hit a couple keys, and you can put your ideas out into the world similar to how obviously what has made Twitter so successful. And so in doing this, and in kind of deviating from the way that Instagram operates in terms of content creation and consumption, by creating something that is more simple, that is easier to execute upon. They took that feedback again, I don’t know if that was very much an intentional part of the strategy here. Or if behind the scenes, they were more like, oh, Twitter’s having a vulnerable moment. Let’s get them. Right. I don’t know. But what I am seeing is that it filled a void, it filled a void for so many people on Instagram, who were saying, I just don’t have time to create these videos or people that didn’t want to go on Tik Tok, I saw a post on threads that were like, finally, I don’t have to dance to get my point across. I don’t have to point and find viral audio, it illuminated, I think an opportunity to kind of step into that criticism and fill the void rather than just doubling down. And that’s a very, very intentional potential route that we can we can take away as independence, especially as it relates to how we navigate our client relationships or client flow.

Akua Konadu
Oh, 1,000%. Like just asking yourself, when you receive that feedback, again, just coming instead of getting defensive is just how can I best serve and help the people that I’m working with. And again, like every single time that you are providing a good client experience, it just ups the chances of word of mouth is the best form of marketing, right? So you want people talking about the experiences that you’re providing, when you’re not in the room to get you more clients. And so I think, again, it’s just so important when you get that critical feedback, just instead of getting defensive, just ask yourself the questions coming from, again, a place of curiosity as to how you can improve. So I think that’s just so important. This fourth point, I think is really important to highlight that experience is everything. And friction is failure. And we wanted to highlight this point, because let’s just take a second to think about it when threads launched, right, the process to sign up for the account was seamless, so seamless, and you can start using it right away, right? You had all you had to have as an Instagram account, your username was the same as your Instagram, the immediate feed of just existing followers, right, your bio transferred over, you can have your links transferred over your headshot was transferred over all of that it felt it was very intuitive and felt very familiar when seeing it for the first time to where like you had no problem hopping in. Not only that, let’s talk about how easy it is to share content between the two platforms, I don’t have to go into camp anymore on quite these Twitter posts. Because a lot of us I never use Twitter, I’m only on Twitter just to see what’s trending. I don’t ever post content on there. I didn’t it just wasn’t serving me. So the fact that I would have to go into Canva and create this whole tweet post, make it look like I’m on Twitter, and then you know, share it on Instagram, we don’t have to do that anymore. I can literally just share my content and then click to share it on Instagram. And I’m Gucci is we’re good. Like that is seamless. And it makes it so much more easier to post on Instagram and show up in a way that feels good to you. So I absolutely love that. And so it’s just it just bears the question of are we entering into an era where any bit of inconvenience or resistance is unacceptable? What do you think?

Natalie Franke
Yes, yes, we are. We absolutely are. I mean, we can look at other platforms, you know, like clubhouse that have kind of gated access at their their launch moment, in order in again to leverage the psychological strategy of FOMO fear of missing out what’s happening behind the gate. I can’t see it. I need an invite. Seeing everybody asked for invites creating that viral momentum that’s been for the past couple of platforms that have launched in the social media space. That’s been the rinse and repeat strategy, like gait create invitations limit initial, you know, user onboarding, what threads did differently and this is really something We have to hone in on because what it’s what it’s demonstrating here, I believe is a shift in user slash consumer slash customer slash client desire. Where are we? Are we entering an arena? This is the question where FOMO is no longer as powerful as frictionless experience where if there is a hurdle, I’m not doing it. I don’t have time, you know, and I and that that’s a really important thing for us to consider. Because we haven’t seen platforms like clubhouse, maintain, sustain, or even have any type of explosive growth, like what we’ve seen with threads. But when men have made it so simple, when they made it so easy when it was a click of a couple of buttons, and suddenly, I didn’t even have to go looking for my bio, I didn’t have to look for a photo, I didn’t have to remember what link I had, in my profile, everything was seamless. I didn’t have to start my feed from scratch. If I didn’t want to, I had the option to follow folks I was already following on Instagram. So now you’re giving me immediate dopamine hits of content from the very first second, that I open it by removing all that friction and making it so simple. I think it’s illuminating that we have become a society that deeply desires, convenience, and consistent, seamless experience. And, you know, I’m curious to know, from you to like, is this something that you are seeing as a business owner, right? I mean, we talk about client flow all the time, we talk about the importance of it all the time. I want to know, like, is it something you see echoed

Akua Konadu
1,000%? I think you know, I don’t mean this in a mean way off when I’m saying this, but we like to have our handheld, okay, like when I get my services, certain things, I want my handheld, like, you’re gonna walk with me through it all, honey. And so I tried to do that I feel like and now again, like, as Fang, just the innovation and evolution of all of these apps, especially check that everything just making it so much more easier to do things I definitely seen in business, I feel like we have to be asking these questions of how can we make things as easy as possible for our clients. We like we talked about in a previous episode that hasn’t been released yet, like coming out. It’s amazing fire with Lashonda. But just like even simpler as a scheduler instead of going back and forth trying to schedule a meeting, send your scheduler like like any an event, how can we make it even easier from that? You know what I mean? Like, we have to be asking yourself these conversations, because even when you talked about just some of these certain platforms, we talked about this briefly, I shared a lot of you have not heard of it. But like I said, I hang out on Twitter a lot just to see like current events and what’s happening. But there is an app right now called spill and it is very POC people of color focused. And that was a new platform that has just now been created because of 2x Twitter employees that were fired, laid off. So they created this app, again, to try to fill a void with all the misinformation out on Twitter, just it not being a safe space for people of color. And I didn’t join it because it told me I had to have a code. I was like, I’m good. Right, I was tight because I started immediately clubhouse. And I was like, I don’t want to have to like, be a part of the cool kids club just to get in, I just wanted to get into a space where I can just be carefree and build connection. And let’s see if it’s gonna be relevant to me and my business. And it didn’t. So I was like, I didn’t even have a chance to even see it. Because I have to have a code and I don’t want a code, I don’t have the time, I’m not gonna go seek it. So I’m gonna go into a space where like, it’s very easy for me to get what I need, and not have to have those barriers and threads totally just did that with no problem. So I think it just goes to show like, all of these newer apps, let’s just cut the, let’s just cut the barriers, like, Let’s just remove them, well, ding,

Natalie Franke
ding, ding, ding, ding, every business owner should be hearing what Akua just said and have light bulbs going off. Because as a client, you have to remember the clients that are coming to your website that are discovering you on social media, they are having those exact same thoughts that Akua had about the code when it comes to areas of friction that you might not even know you’ve put in place. I’m talking about how much do you charge? Can they find out by looking at your website even a small bit of price transparency? Or are you still kind of living in that era of price secrecy where you’re not gonna put a single number out there? Because again, what is the client potentially going to think and I shared this recently on social media and so many clients? Didn’t book independent business owners were in my comment saying this exact same thing. So it’s very, it’s very much validated, but they’ll they’ll go, oh, gosh, I don’t know what they charge next. I don’t have time, I’m not going to reach out to you to find out, I can’t afford you. I don’t want to feel bad if my budget isn’t up to this incredible desired outcome that I’m looking for. I want you to tell me what you charge. I want you to make it seamless. So I have the information I need to hire to kind of understand whether or not I’m going to book you then we go to contact form. Like is it easy for them to reach out to you?

Akua Konadu
I just want to say that that is my pet peeve. That is my pet peeve if I go to your contact form, because sometimes I don’t like to fill out the contact form. I like to live on the edge. And I’m like, Okay, I just want to email you. I want to go to this contact form. And if you don’t have your email at the top, I’m not doing it. And that’s just me. But I think it’s like, because also too sometimes you have issues with the contact form, sometimes you do, or if you’re not sure it’s gonna go through or whatever. So like, I have mine on my website, or you can email me at hello at Akua canady.com. Just again, it’s just removing, I want to give multiple options.

Natalie Franke
Right? Right, make it even once. Well, once someone reaches out once, let’s say somebody does actually go through, they complete the contact form and they hit submit, how long is it taking you to get back to them, these are points of friction that are so important. I mean, we just as again, platforms like clubhouse have been doing the rinse and repeat, blue sky Megalodon refill. They’ve been doing the rinse and repeat of let’s create a little bit of friction to establish FOMO, rinse, repeat do again, again, again again. And we saw threads do the complete opposite it challenged, you know, kind of a procedural way that we’ve been operating. And that is something yet again, we have to think about as business owners. When we look at our client flow. A lot of us have been saying, Well, if I don’t craft the personalized email that I write from scratch with a blank cursor each time uniquely, when someone inquires, then it’s not a great response. But, you know, that is not the world we live in today. Clients don’t want, you know, a an email that comes five days later, but was hand crafted. And you know, written from scratch. They want an email quickly. We did a survey we saw 86% of clients booked the business that got back to them first. What? Right like I don’t know that that stat I repeated all the time, because it hit me it really challenged me it challenged me because, you know, yes, I want this personalized experience at every touchpoint. But I need to be more discerning about where I’m enabling things to be frictionless and seamless and fast to serve with the customer of 2023 needs and expects, versus where I want to put that personal touch where I want to infuse my uniqueness into my brand in my business. And I think that we’re seeing a shift, I think we’re fundamentally seeing a shift and a change in what people want. And maybe even more importantly, what they expect. And if you put friction, you’re going to fail. You’re gonna friction equals failure first and

Akua Konadu
equals eight friction equals money out the door, honey. That’s what it does when 1,000%

Natalie Franke
final lesson, final lesson,

Akua Konadu
but oh my gosh, okay, you’re gonna do this one, I’m gonna have you do Yeah.

Natalie Franke
People are drawn to people, not perfection, and not curation. We want something real, it has become so evident to all of us that the social media status quo is broken. Yes, it is completely broken. I know it, you know it, Zuckerberg clearly knows it, even as a manager of some of the most successful social media platforms that have ever existed, arguably, most of them. And so when you evaluate what people really want and desire, and then you see an opportunity for them to have that it was, it was absolutely explosive, the way that people poured onto threads, felt that freedom of being able to quickly share what they were thinking about. And take that curated experience out of the equation, we saw people getting unhinged, like completely, just sharing what was on their mind and other people responding to that in kind. And it was really refreshing. I mean, it’s part of the reason we don’t want to talk about how you’re going to market yourself on here, how you’re going to monetize it, because it is not the vibe, it’s not what people want. And if anything, it will do more damage to your brand, and damage to your business to approach threads in that way than it will to simply show up and take your mask off and be your authentic self.

Akua Konadu
People are tired, how many people are tired, I am tired. I think we are all just so tired. And it just seeing threads and the conversations of just pure joy, the energy, the authenticity, the realness, transparency, and fun, people laughing at the most light hearted, fun things. But even if it was a little bit more serious, like people were so supportive, like just the amount of kindness that was going throughout the app. It was very nostalgic, a very like when Twitter first launched back in the day. And I think people just want to hold on to that as long as possible. Because let’s be real here, we know that they are going to monetize this app. We already know that. And so a lot of people are just like, let me just enjoy it for what it is right now and just build focusing on building meaningful relationships because, again, we have been through a lot in the past three years and I think again, the way we gather has changed we are no longer the same Then when we were three years ago, our needs for cute, like, even our needs of what we need within a community has changed. And so I think threads gives people the opportunity to explore, and figure out that for themselves, and just again, that curiosity, space and experimentation space where you get to play, and be fun. And I think like, again, creativity and playing just fuels creativity. And I think this is such a great space to get that inspiration. If you’ve been feeling stuck in your business or, you know, lost in your business, really, just having a good time with no expectations, and just seeing how it goes and what figuring out what works and what doesn’t work for you. i It’s a beautiful thing. And I love that people are doing the best that they can to protect it. But also people are ripping each other’s heads off with that I’m like, okay, yeah, let’s be kind. I just wanna slide that in there behind y’all now,

Natalie Franke
which is why I say like, it could do more damage to your brand to go on and immediately start regurgitating the way that we’ve been trained to market ourselves on every other platform on two threads. I want to share something that destiny Brown at CETA with does noted here because I think this really highlights it. We asked on threads, hey, we’re doing this podcast episode. What do you what do you think in business owners? What do you feel? And here’s what she had to say. She said, highlighting a move towards authenticity in regards to threads, coaches preach about it, but on other social sites, super polished seems to be the hidden message. And that right there is what we are experiencing. And it led me you know, to ask the question, do we as business owners need to reevaluate how we are marketing all together? Does the distaste that we are seeing right now and the desperation for something real on threads, signal a truth that we have been long? Ignoring? Yes, right.

Akua Konadu
Hands down, we are tired, because also too, I didn’t point this out. But there’s another app that also came out that has laminate I think it came from Tik Tok. Right. I think it was made by tick tock that has not taken off at all. I mean, I use it for like a day. But I left because I was like, It’s too curated for me. I wanted something that was more raw and and real. And I think again, we were just trained as marketers, as entrepreneurs, we are just so accustomed to what we have seen with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. And so this is your opportunity to innovate. That’s why I’m like, this is a fun space where you just innovate whatever you’re thinking, and it may be considered out the box, give it a shot, because what I love about this platform is that it’s so simple, but so impactful, like you can make such a big impact by just being just simple simplicity. And so I’m like, Just wheat innovation into that. And I feel like people can have like, find so much new things about themselves and about their business and about others. Because I feel like again, like the way that we market the way that we sell, it’s changing.

Natalie Franke
And I think the challenge with curation that a lot of us have come up against on these other platforms is that it puts us into the mindset not of here’s what I want to say, and here’s how I want to serve. But what are other people going to think, is this curated enough? Is this matching my perfect brand? Is this on my brand voice and tone or not? And, you know, in my new book, gutsy I did a lot of research on the behavioral inhibition system, and came upon some research that essentially said, if you spend your time becoming stuck in this, this feedback loop of what are other people going to think if I do this, how does this you know, how is this going to be perceived? What are their opinions going to be? Am I going to be judged? Am I going to be criticized, if that is the train of thought you over sort of over stimulate this behavioral inhibition system in the brain and it means you can’t take action means you’re not going to do anything. You’re going to sit there overthinking about overthinking about other people’s opinions of overthinking and you’re not going to do the darn thing. And why I note that is because curation has become very much restrictive way of operating as a business. And we’re realizing that the business owners don’t like it. And the clients don’t like it, right, the polished fake version that we’ve been trained to, to create for ourselves on the internet. It’s not it like it’s it’s not the future. And what threads is illuminating is that you can step beyond all of that learning that’s been drilled into us, especially those of us who have been business owners for a very long time. And you can play again, you can be yourself again, you can show up and have a little bit of fun. And watch the response as it happens. We’re craving something different. We’re craving something real. And this could be a really pivotal moment. I think in the way that we show up online. We’ll see only time will tell. You know, which is also important to note for anyone out there listening to this, like we don’t know if this platform will sustain we’re doing this bonus episode. We’re recording it on Friday, July 7, that’s gonna go live on Monday. We’re only a couple of days out from the launch 48 hours really from the launch of threads. So much is going to happen even in the next 48 Before we hit publish, and, you know time will only tell whether this continues. And I want to kind of close with that and saying that this is meant to be fun, go have fun, enjoy it. But if you don’t have the emotional bandwidth or capacity right now to leap in and explore this app, your business isn’t gonna crumble and the world isn’t going to end. I don’t care what the marketing gurus have to say about it. Your business is built on relationships, it is built on experience, it is built on how you serve, and whether you can cultivate that joy and service as you grow in scale. That is the backbone of a successful business. Platforms like this can surely help to get the word out about who you are top of funnel, there’s no doubt about it. And I’m sure in the months to come, there’ll be more marketing on on threads, whether we like it or not. But at the end of the day, a platform isn’t going to make or break your business. It’s how you serve people. It’s how you show up. It’s about the experiences that you offer. And I think that’s really the key takeaway after over a decade and a half of doing this and trying out nearly every platform we jokingly mentioned today, right, that I personally have taken away.

Akua Konadu
I don’t even have anything to add from that, because that was just so dang good. Like, it’s so true, right? Like, if you don’t have the bandwidth that is okay, do not allow I know you’re probably seeing all include myself. We’re all threading. I think that’s the correct term now threading, but you know, sharing it, but you know, again, like focus on you, if that’s if you don’t have the capacity, if it’s somebody doesn’t bring you joy, if it’s causing you anxiety, or fear or anything like that, like, you don’t have to do it. You know what I mean? Like, just do what’s best for you and your business. That’s all that matters, because your business certainly isn’t going to crumble like it really isn’t. What matters is the relationships that you’ve built, and how you continue to serve what you said how you continue to serve the people that you work with. So this has been a great episode. I’m excited to see what happens. But again, I will me personally, I will be coming from a very playful and curious space. So looking forward to it.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, this is an exciting moment. Okay. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you all enjoyed it. And be sure to also if you do check out threads hop on over to threads honey books on there. I’m on there at Natalie, Frank Akua. What’s your handle over there

Akua Konadu
at Akua konadu underscore?

Natalie Franke
Yeah, come find us and spark up a conversation. Let us know if you like it if you don’t, what your thoughts are, we are going to be learning how to do this thing together. And we’re really excited to have you as part of the journey. Thank you all for listening.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening

Episode 16 Transcript: The power of slow growth

Natalie Franke
Have you ever struggled with the speed of your own success? Does it ever feel like sometimes you are staying stagnant, even perhaps getting stuck while the rest of the world is accelerating towards their dreams? Well today on the podcast we are talking about the power of slow growth. I have an incredible opportunity to speak to Mary Marantz. She is a best selling author, entrepreneur and keynote speaker, who has made a career out of understanding the power of growing slowly and the impact that we can have as a result on other people’s lives. Mary is the best selling author of dirt as well as her follow up slow growth equals strong roots. And she is also the first in her family to graduate from college and a graduate of Yale Law School. I’ll let her share a little bit more about her journey and today’s episode, but buckle up, because this one you don’t want to miss. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you Michi.

Natalie Franke
Mary, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today.

Mary Marantz
Oh my gosh, Natalie, I am so excited for you and proud of you. I know you’ve talked about doing this for years. So I’ve literally been counting down the minutes since we got this on the calendar. So thank you for having me. Oh, thank

Natalie Franke
you for having me. We’ve known each other for a very long time. So for listeners that aren’t aware of Mary, I’m going to tell a quick story about Mary. I have known, loved, respected, looked up to and adored Mary Marantz for the entirety of my independent business career. And I will never forget one event in particular, I was speaking on a stage for the very first time. And I was terrified, I was utterly terrified, palms sweating hands shaking. And actually Tyler who is our video producer will laugh at this because he looks at me and he goes, You do this all the time right now. minutes before I went on stage to which my stomach did a flip. And I felt like I was gonna, you know, Puke the contents of my meager breakfast. I run into the ladies room. And I’m trying not to hyperventilate and who is in there. But Mary Moran’s just washing her hands, fixing your makeup getting ready, because I can’t remember if you spoke before me after I think you were opening. So I think you were getting ready to go up. And she looks at me absolutely terrified. And I will never forget, it’s like walking into a room where your hero is just standing there. And you just were there for me, you just talked me through it, you supported me you prayed with me, I have never felt so seen that in those moments right before taking the stage. And I will never forget it. It taught me some very important lessons, one of which being that, you know, true leaders really do look out for one another, support each other. And in that moment where, you know, I just was really feeling vulnerable, you became this force for empowerment, support. And you’ve done that throughout your entire career for so many people. And so I went up on that stage, I’m not sure I did a great job, I will say I didn’t puke, the winning, right like that was the the win the win there. But I’ll never forget Mary the way that you so fiercely supported me and empowered me in that moment. And you’ve done that throughout your entire career. Now, at that moment in time, though, this is before both of your incredible books had ever been published dirt, slow growth. This is when you were at the time of wedding photographer. And so I want to sort of start there, because it really does align with what we’re going to be talking about today. Share with us a little bit about that journey, you know, from even prior to wedding photography. Where did this all begin for you? Did you always know you are going to be an independent business owner? I know the answer to that question. But I’d love for you to kind of start us there start us in the early days of where you got started. And then we’ll lead into where we are today.

Mary Marantz
Oh my gosh, well, first of all, you were incredible in that talk. So let’s just back up and pause right there. And from that, even before you took the stage, but from that moment on, I knew that you were boring for all of this work that you’re doing. And so to watch it play out over the last few years, it’s just been phenomenal to see. And, you know, I think as somebody who has made a life’s work of reminding us all that the fastest way to success is actually to slow down and see people I could not be more excited to kind of dig in to talk about this right. So so I know that we’re in good company here. And I think like it’s really good to just sort of start with like this 32nd elevator pitch of my story if maybe people are sort of finding me for the first time here born and raised in a single wide trailer in very rural West Virginia. We sort of added onto it. And that kind of 80s in West Virginia sort of way, with a lien to shack. And so that was home from zero to 18. Dad’s a logger, mom cleaned houses. And then fast forward a few years and I find myself at the number one law school in the country, which, contrary to what Elle Woods would tell you is actually Yale, not Harvard. Actually, they hinted that at that in that movie, because Warner’s more successful brother was there. And, and also, contrary to what Ellen’s would tell you, it is very hard. And so as you know, I’m on this path, my parents were like, sets, that is the set safe life right there. And as I’m going through law school, I end up meeting and falling in love with both a photographer and photography. And when I graduate in 2006, even though I have six figure offers in London, in New York, we decide to check it all at start a photography business, without a penny to our name or clue what we’re doing. And that was in 2006, we’ve been full time since then, as entrepreneurs in one way or another, has a photography business for close to 17 years, I think is the math, and have also since branched into other businesses and courses and now author. And so you can say it in 30 seconds like that. But the thing I want everybody to hear is that it actually takes a very long time, none of it happens overnight.

Natalie Franke
Let’s dig in. Because I think there is this myth of overnight success. And so many of us experience the world through that lens where it can sometimes feel like our life is stuck staying the same stagnant. And yet, everybody else just has some magical moment where everything just happens for them. Yeah, instantaneously and without friction. And one of the things that I really love about your values and the pillars that you stand for, and that you’ve you’ve advocated for for such a long time is that that truly is a myth. And so I want to kind of lean in there, and let’s talk about it. Why do you think that so many of us really struggle with this understanding of slow growth? Why is it hard for us to wrap our minds around? And what has that been like for you? Have you struggled with it, too?

Mary Marantz
Yeah, I love this question. Because I’ve actually spent a lot of time as you can imagine thinking about it the last couple years of like, Where does this where is the message that fast is better even coming from because I don’t know about you, Natalie, but I never ever, when somebody’s introducing me, or whatever the case may be, I never want the most interesting thing about me to be how little time I’ve been at this work, how little effort it actually took, like when we think about it that way, that’s actually a pretty insulting life story to stand for, like she didn’t even really have to try hard at all the end. And that is not a movie any of us will go see, by the way, what I think happens is we get into these very micro silos of the industries that we’re in, where overnight feels like the dream, it feels like the pinnacle of success. But when we zoom out into our culture into humanity into the way that we’re wired as humans, that those are not the movies we go see. Those are not the stories we share from stage we love when our heroes have to go through some stuff to get to the result, we don’t even really care about their results. We care about who they became fighting to get to that place. Right? My friend Kim Butler always says our goals are not about what we get by achieving, it’s who we become. And so that’s kind of an interesting, like, why where did this even come from? And I think it’s got two levels that I would love to address. Number one is this echo chamber of a fire hose of social media, highlight reels. And you know, this fleeting currency of success. If you are following somebody, and you start to pay attention that the only things they ever talk about are how much how many, how fast, I’m going to challenge you, it might be time to reevaluate following that person. Now, listen, we’re I know you love data. I know you love science. I know you love strategy. I have no problems with any of those things. But if all somebody can say is the reason they have a spot at the table is how much how many, how fast, we have a problem. And so I think like That’s level one is like all we’re exposed to on a daily basis is like I started seven days ago, and I’ve made $1 trillion. It’s like, Have you have you really. So that’s sort of like just what we’re inundated and it starts to feel we’re inundated with it and it feels normal after a while. But the deeper level and this is where I want to slow down and kind of sink into it is that thing when we talk about wanting to see results fast? It actually has more to do with this crosshair intersection of imposter syndrome. And this I’ll be happy when this fill in the blank. I’ll be happy when so it’s a combination of I don’t feel equipped to do this thing. I don’t feel qualified to do this thing. Who does she think she is? Who do I think I am to do this thing. So at least if things start happening quickly, then it feels like a permission slip that I’m on the right track. The problem with that is the inverse is also true. If it doesn’t start happening as quickly as you want, if you aren’t seeing the results as quickly as she is, then it feels like a pink slip, that you should just go ahead and quit. This permission slip versus pink slip, I think is a really powerful thing for us to pay attention to. Because the other thing is the, I’ll be happy, when I’ll be happy when I have what she has, I’ll be happy when I am where she is, if I can just get to this place, then I can calm down, then I can kind of clock out and start to enjoy my life and actually be present in my real life around me. But the point and the problem is that that becomes a moving target. And there’s always somebody up ahead of you, and you never get around to actually living your life. So we think we have to do it fast. To get to this place where I’ll be happy, we have to do it fast to prove that we have what it takes and that we do matter. And then we chase it and we chase it, and we never get there. And it just you can spend your whole life doing it. I did a post the other day that was like, we have to be careful. We can Instagram and tweet and Tiktok are entire lives away and the clock is ticking. The clock is ticking, we can be a firehose of information, and never once get around to doing this work that matters.

Natalie Franke
Well, with that in mind. Wow, I relate to all of that. so deeply. I remember when I, you know, started my own business, my own photography business, I remember thinking, when I just book a wedding for $5,000, I will have made it, I did it. And then it was when I booked one for $10,000, I will have made it and then I did it. And I did that over and over and over again. And I’m sure folks listening to this, have experienced that as well and have those things right now sitting before them where they feel like, once I’ve done X, I will have made it and yet, what you’re really pointing out here is that in some ways, by repeating that narrative to ourselves, we’re simply upholding ourselves to a lie, right? We’re holding ourselves to this idea that, you know, if I just hit some worldly measure of success, then all of these insecurities, all of these doubts, all of these fears, all of these things I struggle with that make me feel like I’m not enough will vanish. But yet we know better. We do. Because so many of us have already hit some of those metrics, whether that was you know, in high school, I once I graduate from high school, I’ll feel like an adult. That’s right. Spoiler alert. 32 I don’t feel like an adult. I still wonder sometimes, like who let me you know, do this, any of this any of the things that I do. And I love that with the permission slip because again, it’s so whether it’s a pink slip or a permission slip, I absolutely love it. One thing that this community in particular struggles with, and again, I’m speaking somewhat from personal experience, but I know you know, over the past decade of being a business owner, myself, the past eight years of being in community growing communities of 10s of 1000s of business owners, I see it repeat over and over again, this struggle with achieving and this struggle with striving, always striving for more, this hunger within us to do more, be more be better improve ourselves. At every turn. I even I think it was Jon Acuff who tweeted something to the effect recently of like, you know, a morning routine that involves like, a fast greens powder, getting 30 minutes of sunlight, walking 10,000 steps, like all of these things, and it just made me chuckle because I thought, wow, if that doesn’t sum me up, and the expectations I’m holding myself to and striving and so many of us as entrepreneurs struggle with that, I’d love to dig into that dig into this striving, this achieving mentality, you know, is this something you also see business owners struggling with? And where do we even begin to unpack that?

Mary Marantz
Yeah, so when I wrote you know, they say you don’t write you think you’re gonna write the book that helps all of the people, and it does, secondarily, but first is going to work on you. And so I’m writing this book about giving up overachieving for your worth slow growth equals stronger. It’s my second book, and it’s the you know, subtitled fighting grease, freedom and purpose in an overachieving world. And the whole premise is not trying to Goldstar your way into mattering, you know, not trying to highlight reel your way into belonging, not having a i There’s a part in dirt where I talk about this Butler, who introduces me into every room and lists my whole resume this like you feel it bubbling up in your throat and you can’t even choke it down this need to say, but I’ve done all these things now because you want people to be impressed because because you don’t want them to feel like you’re wasting their time. Just just your mere presence. I can connect you. I can teach you something I can share something with you. I’m not a waste of your time. Right? And so for some of us, especially if you grew up with something in your story that makes you feel like you are disqualified before you even begin. In both dirt and slow growth. I talk about the girl in the red cape who’s running her way out of the deep dark woods trying to escape from something these branches clawing and scratching her clothes in her skin leaving a trail of breadcrumbs behind from this place she calls home. The Big Bad Wolf ripping at her heels. I turned breathless and exhausted and I finally at last see it. I am the girl in the red cape running from my story. But I’m also Are the wolf. And that voice in my head telling me to run and never stop running that voice is my own will in slow growth, we revisit that scene exactly. But this time, it’s from the perspective of the wolf chasing and can’t stop chasing this version of me. I was born to protect I, my heartbreaks that I’ve scared her away again. And when I wail out when I roar, it’s not because I am dangerous. It’s because this thorn in my paw these wide open wounds and these ones unscarred poems. And at a certain point, the big bad wolf learns to be afraid of us because we learn how to twist that thorn to keep it running. Because if we can’t stop moving forward, it can’t stop chasing us. And so I talk about this in slow growth, these different kinds of versions we become of ourselves in order to perform our way into mattering into into this, you know, our greatest fear is that our whole life will pass by unwitnessed, that this time here won’t count for anything. And we start to think the only way to escape our past, the only way to escape this failure that might be wired directly into our DNA is to not stop running. So I deeply passionately understand the need to keep striving I wrote dirt in that scene, because I wanted people to understand how visceral primal and survival achieving can really become. It is not a must be nice, like the only side effect of your heart story was success, like, what’s the problem? No, it’s that we don’t know how to breathe. If we go too long without a win, achieving becomes the oxygen. Perfectionism is the penance we pay to take up space in the room. So I’m deeply empathetic. And I also have done the field research for all of us. And like you said, I’m telling you like, I think the one that maybe started to make sense for me is like, if you can get into the number one law school in the country and still feel like you are worthless, that maybe it’s not in things. Maybe it’s not, you know, achievements and accomplishments.

Natalie Franke
I remember when I first read the part of dirt that touched on, you know, I am the girl in the red cape, and I’m also the wolf. Yeah. And I’ve, honestly, I love your writing. But I’ve never resonated more than in that moment. I even remember I doodled it and, yes, it, it truly touched me. And I realized in my own life, too, I am so often the wolf nipping at my own heels and propelling myself forward, but not from a place of, you know, not not from a good place of wanting to make impact, but almost out of out of fear, right. And so much of what you touched on in both books, resonates so much with me. I’m curious when it comes to achieving when it comes to being an achiever? Are we all the same? Are there different, you know, types of achievers? Are there different roles that we try to play in our lives? In that regard? I know you’ve done so much research. So I feel like I’m asking the expert here.

Mary Marantz
Yeah. What’s really cool is that a little bit of a backstory that I actually like talk about in the author’s note of slow growth is that six years before I ever had an agent or book deal or anything like that, Justin and I become very burnout. As photographers, we felt like everything we were creating was us being beholden to someone else, someone else’s vision or checklist of creation. And so we put together some shoots that were purely just for us, we did one in New Haven of ballerinas. And then we flew a small team of us to Venice and did a few different looks there. And then came home, edited, like three of them, put them on Instagram, the ultimate and highlight reels. And they sat on a hard drive for six years, we didn’t know what to do with them. We just we didn’t know what that was about. We were like, well, that was cool. But weird. I guess we’ll just keep these forever, on a hard drive. Fantastic. And then I start writing slow growth. And I’m trying to really put words to the pain of what it is to be an achiever, what the pain of what it is to feel like you’re just pushing and pushing and banging your head against this brick wall. And I’m creating these characters without even meaning to it was not, I wish I could say I like had some strategy going into it. But it didn’t. It was just like these, like, I’m this tightrope walker, I’m up and I’m down and everywhere in between, you know, the latest highlight reel catching me just in time, my days have always been defined as good or bad by the latest good thing that’s happened to me. Or maybe it’s the performer always on her toes, never ones being able to blink and let on that it’s a performance wanting to show other people how far she’s come and also herself. And so we I wrote the book. And we had a totally different design for the book total, like just wildly different. Much more just sort of like Draper James I would say, and it just didn’t fit. It was like that’s a really pretty coat for somebody else. But it does not fit me. And so we went back to the drawing board redesigned it. Justin Moran’s who is a genius and is responsible for the phrase slow growth equals strong roots. He said that to me in year one of our business also said, what if we did something that was more like our photography brand, a little Vanity Fair. And so we use those photos and we started to realize, man, they’re lining up with each of these characters. And so after the book was out, I actually even put together a quiz. We call it the achiever quiz, where you can endowed with five different avatar types of this different yet all the same person who is always performing Are you the performer So the performer cares about hitting goals not only to prove it to themselves, but to prove other people how far they’ve come, which is what I am. I’ll be interested to know after you hear these which one you think you are. The tightrope walker doesn’t really care so much about anybody else. They don’t care who’s clapping, they’ll clap for themselves, but they need higher and higher hits of dopamine to get the same amount of joy from them. The Contortionist is not personally driven by goals that much themselves, but they twist themselves up into tiny tethered knots to make other people happy. Because to contort is easier than to be criticized. The masquerader doesn’t go after goals because they don’t want to let themselves or other people down. And then the illusionist, who’s sort of our outlier doesn’t go after goals in either case, either. But it’s more because they can’t start until it’s perfect. And so we put it together in a quiz, it takes like two minutes to take, it’s at achiever quiz.com or Mary Moran’s dot com slash quiz. And you can find out which type you are where you get stuck and tripped up and get in your own head about moving forward. And what your strengths are also as that type and how you start to move forward with purpose. So if you take it everybody listening, send me a DM and let me know what type you got. And I’m very curious now, Natalie, which one do you think you are?

Natalie Franke
I think I’m likely a contortionist. Although perhaps a performer, I have to take it, I’m going to take it and what I will say to you is we’ll link it in the show notes to the episode so that everyone has quicklink access. But who? Man I the more that we all learn about ourselves, the more fuel it gives us to build that self awareness and move forward. I am eager, I’m going to take it right after our recording and find out find out if my hunch is true. I want to share one thing that you share it you published recently, and it really resonated with me, especially as you know, we’re kind of talking about purpose. We’re talking about achieving we’re talking about these these layers here. So you said instead of asking, what might go wrong, ask who couldn’t help. One is based in self preservation, the other and significance. You can’t bubble wrap purpose. All this staying safe keeps you playing small.

Mary Marantz
Yeah, that one hurt.

Natalie Franke
It’s a personal attack against my soul. But let’s talk about it. Tell me about that.

Mary Marantz
Yeah, you know, I mean, here’s the interesting thing, here’s the thing people get wrong about slow growth is they hear that and they go, Okay, so there’s no amount of slow that’s wrong, then like, let me just slow this all the way down. And let me just think about it for you know, be like Dewey Cox and think about my whole life before I go on stage. And in reality, sluggers actually happens right in his sweet spot in the middle. And if we go too far to either direction, either if we try to fast track it, and overnight our way into success, we get into trouble. But we also get into trouble if we go so slow, that we actually stop that we become stuck. And so what I hear from the women, I coach, and the women I talk to who read the book, and just conversations with friends, is that we tend to get stuck, because of all, you know, I did this reel where I was like, let me see if I can guess them. It’s all been done. It’s all been done by someone better. It’s all been done by someone the world wants to pay attention to, I can’t start until it’s perfect. I can’t start until I know the blueprint and know every single step of the way. What if I started and I can’t stay consistent? What if I don’t have the bandwidth? What if the critics come? What if they say, Who does she think she is, et cetera, et cetera. And so chances are just hit one for somebody listening at home. Because fear is pretty boring. The scripts that it uses on all of us are pretty much the same. Like it has a very limited arsenal to keep us stuck. And what as soon as we recognize that we can actually take it as a good sign that we’re on the right track. Cool, cool. You’re telling me that my voice doesn’t matter, you must be really terrified of what will happen if I use it. Great. Let me lean into that. And so, you know, when we think about this idea of bubble, wrapping ourselves bubble, wrapping our purpose, you know, imagine just sort of like picturing like, Ralph fees, little brother, is it, Ralph and Christmas wearing his little brother, whatever his name is, with, like, all the codes, I can’t put my arms down, right? We do that to our dreams, we do that to our purpose, because we think it’ll keep us safe. We think if we don’t put it out until it’s absolutely perfect, nobody can ever criticize it. Until we realize nobody has ever been able to make the whole world agree on anything. And so when we talk about instead of saying what could go wrong, ask who could it serve? I was just speaking at the graceful gathering in April. And I put up this slide that I’m actually really proud of, it’s actually a pretty original idea. And I don’t feel like anybody’s really talking about this. So there is this process of survival, to stability, to security, to success to significance, that sort of a progression. That part’s not my original idea. That’s something people have talked about for a long time. And I presented it as a bar graph like these steps, the steps and plateaus of leveling up from survival. Can I even pay my bill bills, put food on the table to Okay. Things have leveled out incomes kind of predictable stability, security Geilo more than enough success known in my industry. And then we think that if we just stay in it long enough, and that long, slow climb, that significance or industry will be inevitable. And two years ago, I had a flash of a picture in my head go through where I realized, there’s actually a huge Keanu Reeves speed, it’s finished on the map, where the gap between success and significance and that gap we have to make is when we start making it about us. And we start making it about other people. Because whether we realize it or not all of those fears, where we’re trying to keep ourselves safe. What if I’m criticized? What if I fail, and it’s embarrassing? What if I try and it doesn’t work? That’s really all about us. That’s all about looking inward, us being embarrassed as failing us having to start again. But when you reach a point, and so if you climb all the way up to success, and you don’t make that leap, the boulder rolls all the way back down to the hit bottom of the hill. And you got to start over, it’s this vicious loop of, you know, survival to success, the way we sort of transcend and get to the other side, as we go, there will be critics, period, it will hurt period, there will be failures, period, and also who it helps and how it helps them is worth it. And we make that sort of, you know, that’s that one time, we kind of like speed up to make that leap, we’re gonna go faster, right. And we’re going to jump the bridge and make it to the other side, where we start to live our lives by the use of my gifts in service to others for the rest of my life. That’s it. And ironically, when we make that switch, that’s when the growth starts to become exponential.

Natalie Franke
I believe that wholeheartedly. We have been exploring a lot, you know, in the realm of the science of self made success, what does it look like? What does you know? What are the component pieces that lead into it to help somebody achieve their dreams, and what’s been really interesting to us, especially in the service based business world, which is, primarily the majority of our community is a service based business owner and independent, working with a client, what we see over and over again, is that the business owners that are succeeding, share one little thing, and it’s often dismissed, it’s often seen as insignificant, very difficult to quantify, if ever, although I have aspirations in an upcoming survey to dig into this a little bit more, but we just kept seeing it come up. And I’ve, you know, been working on building community amongst independents now for over eight years in different ways. And it has consistently been a key ribbon throughout all of it. And you touched on it right now in your own way. And that quality that we see over and over again, that successful independence have is joy in service. Yeah, finding joy in serving others, finding joy in creating incredible experiences for their clients finding joy in using their craft to make an impact, having a purpose that is rooted right in something greater than themselves, something that isn’t, you know, held to our own sense of ego or achievement, or striving just for the sake of it, but rather sees a connection between the work that is done and the impact that is made, the legacy that will live on beyond that, and legacy, something, you know, you truthfully, you and Justin really kind of instilled in me growing in my own businesses, seeing not just the impact that’s made today, but seeing the impact that because the focus and the purpose is rooted on impact made today then becomes impact that, you know, is built far into the future far, far beyond the work that we’re even doing right now. And so I want to lean into that a little bit, you know, in, in all the work that you’ve done in evaluating slow growth and some of the things that we’ve talked about around achieving, talk to me a little bit about that gratification and kind of the need that we feel sometimes for, you know, wanting to see that impact today, even right, like we want it now. Patience, as we know is a virtue. And scientists, for example, have study this at length. We all are most of us have probably heard of the marshmallow experiment, if you haven’t. It was an experiment done at Stanford, I think as far back as the 1960s, maybe early 70s. Although it’s been done multiple times throughout them. There have been subsequent studies where, you know, they have a child sit down, and they put a marshmallow in front of the child and they say, if you wait until I get back, you’ll get another marshmallow, you’ll get two. And the researcher leaves the room and the child sits there for 15 minutes staring at that marshmallow. And what’s really fascinating is that they then followed the, you know, kind of children long into the future and the children that you know, waited and didn’t eat the marshmallow actually delayed gratification. until the second marshmallow was given to them at the conclusion of the study had a whole slew of successes at the end, they had higher SATs scores, they were noted as being, you know, more social and achieving more in different areas simply because the researchers hypothesized they have this ability to delay that gratification. Now, there have been more recent studies on this where they’ve brought things like affluence and abundance into the conversation versus scarcity. If a child is, you know, used to or aware that good things can come in the future. Some children don’t have that luxury, although, you know, again, as adults, that’s something a lot of us battle with abundance and scarcity. The point being here that there is power in delaying gratification, and being someone that knows that good things could be on the horizon that we don’t need the immediacy of that success. I want to talk about that, you know, what, how do you view that? How do you view kind of the impact that, you know, isn’t just made today, but the legacy of impact that could be made tomorrow?

Mary Marantz
Yeah, man, I love that. I don’t know if I have actually, I mean, I, I’ve seen that going around on like Instagram that like, what happens if you leave the kids with your with a Halloween candy or whatever. But I didn’t realize the full study around it. So that’s very fascinating. It kind of reminds me of a study that I heard Adam Grant talks about recently, which was your Internet browser can determine your level of success in a job? Because it was basically like talking about if you have Chrome or Firefox, I guess, then you had to go beyond the built in browser and say, is the default option a good one? Or should I look for but you know, am I going with what they just told me to go with? Or am I looking for something better, and that the people who had these other browsers were much more likely to be the creatives to have the original ideas to innovate. And so I think that’s really fascinating. Because, you know, we get in such a hurry. And we get really, really impatient. And we, you know, I feel like people who talk about like, life is really short it is. But it’s also really long, right? And so what I mean by that is like you can race and rush and elbow and trample over other people to get to this finish line. And then you’re standing at the finish line, and you have to be you at that finish line, we forget that the work product comes with us to every finish line we go to so I can hurry and rush and race and try to hit a list for example, where we were talking about books before we hopped on right we can we can really just make it all about do we hit the list or don’t hit the list. And I get a weeks or days worth of celebration of crossing that finish line. But the book comes with you, the book and the work product in it and the effort and the excellence and the originality versus, did you cut corners and just do a book report of other people’s ideas to get there? Did you make it all about the marketing and nothing about the excellence, you get a week of celebration, and then a lifetime of your name tied to that work product. And so we have to be patient if we truly want to live a life of impact. Because when we rush things, when we sacrifice our integrity or our excellence to get to an end result, we don’t, we don’t get to leave that at the line, it comes with us. And these little cracks in the facade become these giant crumbles. Even if we get especially if we get a lot of eyes, on the things we’ve done that’s like a giant magnifying glass. And so I would rather not that like this is these are the only two choices. But if I have to take my time getting a lot of readers on books, and then as soon as it hits that sort of tipping point, Malcolm Gladwell style, every book that came before I’m like, Good, I’m proud of every single one of them go look at him, versus I cut corners to get there quickly. And then for the rest of my life, people talk about the book was fluff, you know, maybe you don’t get another shot at writing a really good book, because everybody looked at the first one and said, Ooh, that was not very good, or whatever. Like I would rather focus on taking my time, leaning into excellence, leaning into originality, and I want to talk about the science with you. Because I feel like this is gonna be such a fantastic conversation. I’ve been studying a little bit of the brain science around where creativity lives. And when we’re operating out of this like fight or flight frantic frenzy to have to get to the finish line the fastest. That’s not worked. That’s the amygdala, the entire different part of your brain, like the hippocampus and other parts of the limbic system, even if you’re just focusing on like being very efficient and working things off the list. That’s the prefrontal cortex, versus this part of your brain. Where true origination lives. So we want to be originals. We want to create work that matters and moves the conversation forward, we have to slow down. If you’re bored, we have to be able to imagine all those things. So I’m interested in that you, you are clearly more of an expert on the brain stuff than me, but I just find that fascinating.

Natalie Franke
When I was doing my research for my next book, gutsy that is coming out in a few weeks, I kind of went down the rabbit hole of the science of play. And what you’re touching on here is so beautifully in parallel because one of the things that I uncovered in that research is that when we are in that state of fight or flight or we’re experiencing a significant amount of pressure Right. And that can be in our careers and our businesses and our personal lives. That pressure actually changes, right our neuro chemistry. And it impacts levels of cortisol, for example, yeah. And when all of that happens, it puts our brain in a state in which it’s no longer as plastic meaning it can’t innovate and be creative and build new neural pathways. It’s locked into survival mode. And so when we think about, you know, growth and slow growth over time, I think it’s it is 100%, it’s so important to open ourselves up to the possibility to allow ourselves the opportunity to play. And it sounds simple, right? It sounds like, Okay, but what does that mean? But I want you to think about when was the last time you gave yourself the opportunity to play not caring if you failed, not caring? If you looked like a fool, if you were silly for just a moment, if you if the world was watching, and they judged you they criticize you setting that aside, and truly allowing yourself the childlike wonder of exploring, because what I found in that research was that when we allow ourselves to do that, that neuro chemistry shifts and our brain becomes more plastic and play, you know, is the tool through which children uncover who they are, I watch it in my kids all the time, play is where they get to experiment with being the leader versus being the follower where they get to figure out, you know, the social hierarchy and explore that and challenge that and rebel against it. And we stopped doing that at a certain point. And we allow that pressure to hold us and trap us, perhaps even of our own making night. And so much of what of what you touched on there, I agree with wholeheartedly and knowing the brain science behind it. And we’ll link to this in the show notes too. You know, it just further encourages us to allow ourselves, the time, the time and the patience, to explore, to create, to play to bet on ourselves, not give ourselves the pink slip at the very first sign of failure to put all the pressure on ourselves, like you’re talking about, but instead almost free that pressure where we can to carve out the spaces to go to Venice and do the photoshoot or have the ballerinas right and to be in a place where we we allow ourselves that opportunity. We don’t treat it as a luxury for someone else. But we, we guard it, we safeguard that chance to play. Yeah, I

Mary Marantz
love that. There’s a video that’s going around, again on Instagram of Taylor Swift accepting the Innovator of the Year award. And in it, she’s talking about the 1000s of bad ideas, she had just to get to the few good ones that people remember her for and like just this permission to have bad ideas to this permission to play this permission to just like, see what it you know, shapes up to and then smash the clay down, back down, whatever. And we don’t get there. If all we’re doing is worrying about fighting it out for the biggest piece of the pie and slow growth I talk about. Right after mine in Justin’s very first photography conference, we drove out into the desert because we needed a break from the fluorescent lights in the process what we just learned, and we pulled off for a stretch our legs break at Lake Mead. And at the time, it’s not so much now but at the time it was this big, beautiful blue Crystal Lake totally full, you know, and we’re walking down to the lake and at a certain point, the walkway gives way to floating dock and it’s actually a hatchery for fish there. So you’re walking in and all of a sudden you’re like, off kilter, and the whole water is alive and turning with these gulping screamingly silently screaming gray fish and they are jumping on top of each other flopping on top of each other, pushing each other down just for their share of the crumbs they think you’re about to give them. And meanwhile, here are these wild things in captivity. And if they just turned around, there’s an expanse of freedom behind them. And I feel like way too many entrepreneurs and business owners right now are playing like the Lake Mead fish, or like a bad game of kindergarten basketball like wherever the ball runs, we all chase it. Nobody’s playing zones and kindergarten basketball. It runs over here, we all chase it, it runs over here, we all chase it. And we just stay in that fight or flight, life or death. If it doesn’t happen today. It’s never going to happen at all place. And what what we sacrifice here’s what I think we sacrifice it’s two things our originality and our resilience. Our originality, because we cut corners, we just say what everybody else is saying we chase the ball, just to get something out to keep up to feed the beast of social media and that fire hose there. And then resilience. Actually, I will say three things originality, resilience and humility, resilience, because we think if things happen for us quickly the first few times than the first time it doesn’t come so quickly or so easily. We think we’re out we quit and humility because when, ironically in a very ironic way, when things happen in this sort of windfall way and this overnight success sort of way. We start to think that’s about it. So how good how popular, how liked how talented we are. Whereas slow growth where we are actually rolling up our sleeves and getting our hands dirty building the thing we are contributing to it doing that work over the long haul. It allows the work to work on us. Right? That’s why if not, if you don’t hear anything else from today, that’s the one I hope that they hear the most. If you are truly committed to your craft, if you are truly committed to being a lifelong student of this thing that you love, be willing to go away for a while to be hidden for a while to turn out the noise for a while and let the work work on you distracted work will never be our legacy. Deep Work will. And that does not happen if all you’re doing is trying to keep up with everybody else. Push somebody else under just to get your share the crumbs.

Natalie Franke
If I was a smarter woman, I would end on that note that I do have a final question that I want to ask you. Wow. And I asked all of my guests this question. I’m really curious to hear your response, Mary. What do you believe differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail?

Mary Marantz
Hmm, I think the first thing that comes to mind for me is this sort of adapt or die kind of mentality. And I don’t mean that in a back in the fight or flight kind of conversation. What I mean by that is this willingness to go, okay, the, you know, the first draft, not great. At that moment, a lot of people will go, Well, I’m done. I’m out. Genuine backstory, I am not making this up or leaning into hyperbole at all. I genuinely genuinely thought that to write a book, you had to sit down, write it start to finish in the exact order, it would ultimately end up in a perfect singular manuscript, you got one shot at it, you send it off to publishers or a publisher. They said yes or no. And that was it. That was the whole writing career, you either got it in that one, you know, Eminem style, you get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. That is how I thought book writing wins. And then you get into it, and you realize you get drafts in life. And in book writing, you get drafts and drafts and drafts. And Adam Grant talks about this, he says, the people who become what he calls, the originals, they are willing to look at something and go, I have fear about this. But the fear is not in myself. The fear is not in my belief of like, what I’m capable of creating. The doubts that I have are just about this version of it, this version of the work product, this version of the course or the business or whatever. So let me go back to the drawing board. Let me be willing to take my time and to do drafts, upon drafts upon drafts to take a step, evaluate, you know, pivot and move forward. And so drafts and drafts and drafts, we adapt, and we adapt, and we adapt until it’s something we’re proud of. We don’t take that first. That wasn’t so good as a sign we’re not cut out for it. It just means we have more work to do.

Natalie Franke
Wow, Mary, I have no doubt that our listeners are going to want to find out more about you follow you in all the places where can they get a copy of your books? Where can they learn more about you? Yeah,

Mary Marantz
so the central hub that’s sort of the easiest is just marry marantz.com ma ry, ma RA and tz.com. From there, you can click over to the two books, there’s dirt, and slow growth equals strong roots. You can find the podcast which is the Mary Moran show, you can search for Natalie and listen to you have two episodes coming up with three episodes on there. And you know, I think like probably the best way like the best move forward from here, he’s gonna take that quiz at achiever quiz.com. And then DM me at Mary Marantz on Instagram and let me know what type you got. Because I’m very curious.

Natalie Franke
I love it. I’ll do that. I’ll make sure to do that. And I’ll encourage all of our listeners to do the exact same Mary, thank you so much for joining us today.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Episode 15 Transcript: The impact of building a meaningful community

Natalie Franke
Hey friends, welcome back to the independent business podcast today we are talking about one of the most important subjects that is a differentiator in the self made success equation and that is community. Now, if you heard that word and immediately thought, I’m gonna pick another episode, I’m going to scroll on community, it’s a nice to have, it’s fluffy. It’s it’s not necessary to my business. My bottom line, I want you to stop right there. And I want you to tune into this episode, and I want you to listen closely because community friends, it is not a nice to have. It is a requirement. It is a foundation from which all success is built as a business owner. And the longer that I’ve built businesses, the more that that has become apparent to me. Today, we are talking with a community builder that I respect immensely. IRAM Dantooine. eyerim is an Orlando based photographer and creative community builder. He works full time at Pexels, building communities across the United States through events, meetups and challenges, we’re gonna get to talk with him and dig deep into everything that you need to know, as an independent business owner. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve it.

Natalie Franke
Hey, Ira, thank you so much for joining me,

Airam Dato-on
of course. Thank you for having me today.

Natalie Franke
All right, I want to jump right in and ask you, what has your journey been to get to where you are today? For folks who don’t know, you wear a lot of hats. You wear a lot of hats, photographer, creator, community builder, you work at PAX feels like you do a lot of things. I would love to know a little bit about what is your journey looked like to getting to where you are today? And what role has community played in that?

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, my boss always asked me Are you are you doing okay, like, Is this too much? But yeah, I think I’ve worn a lot of hats since I like, even during college, I feel like that’s, that’s when it started. But yeah, so community where I started and where I’ve been right out of college actually started working in community. And I was working with university students and helping them figure out what they want to do after college, just getting them together to like, hang out with each other, and basically just be around other college students and talk about what they’re going through what they’re going to do. And that’s where it started for me. And from then I left that job and started doing graphic design and more desk job. And then when I moved back to Orlando, I was really trying to figure out like, Man, I, I want to be in a creative business. I’ve never done this independently. And I was mainly doing a desk job for a company, nonprofit. And moving to Orlando, there was no plans and I had nothing. I had no network in Orlando, no professional network. And so I just started connecting with other photographers, because I know I wanted to be a photographer. My background was in graphic design. And I started getting into photography. And I just connected with people, Facebook groups, to messaging people on Instagram and looking for Orlando photographer, and just connecting with them. And when I arrived, I started to just hang out with people and made sure that I knew people and got to meet them and got myself into the Orlando community. And that was 2019 August. So by the time the pandemic hit, I had a strong crew of people within that six months that I was here. So it was good to have that foundation. So by the time that the pandemic, it was really a little bit easier to deal with, because I had people to lean on to while everything was happening here. Yeah,

Natalie Franke
and that’s the thing. A lot of folks I don’t I don’t think we always realize when we’re running a business, this community is not just a nice to have. And it’s not just the thing we need when things are going well, right. It’s when everything falls apart that we realize just how critical it is.

Airam Dato-on
Correct? Yeah, totally.

Natalie Franke
Yeah. And in your journey, you know, you mentioned you’ve created communities. It sounds like you’re kind of a natural, community oriented person. I’m really curious, where does that stem from for you? Why do you care about community like what is it for you? Have you ever thought about it? Like what is it for you that draws you to that and that has kind of led you to seek others in you know, all of your career journeys.

Airam Dato-on
I think my background and going through college in graphic design, art history, mainly the graphic design and the studio art aspect. We were like thorough into classes where we’re bouncing off ideas where we’re telling each other, hey, you need to be better at this. This is some some place where you can grow in a lot of the critiques and a lot of the just leaning on to each other. And I think that really formed that community. Like, even though you’re in a class, it’s something that you everyone is going through together. And I think having a place to lean on to and for feedback, but also for brainstorming and having people to tell you, you know, like, Hey, you should be better. I think that really helped me and I crave that community, I crave that interaction with a group of people.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, it’s a huge differentiator and a huge competitive advantage as a business owner, when you have that loving pushback that like well intentioned critique and encouragement to do better and to strive for more, because I think, you know, rarely do we realize just just how critical that can be to kind of push us to the next level. And you mentioned a lot of good things about community. I would love to know from you. Have you ever experienced any pain points? Have you ever kind of struggled to find your community? Find your people? Tell us a little bit about that? Because I know a lot of us have dealt with like, yes, the good, but also it’s hard. It’s so hard.

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, totally. I think the main ones and the main pain points would be like, especially in the photographer community is who to trust? And who do people who other people trust us? Well, and I think a lot of it comes down to just asking people like, hey, like, Who’s this guy? Like? What is his deal? Who’s this person? And what do they like to do? And kind of getting a feel for what other people know about a person? And, like, if I think the main ones that really that kind of you kind of feel it is, when someone’s just asking you questions, when it feels like they should be paying for this kind of service. For me, I think it’s when it’s more of a one way thing of, they just want to get from me instead of also give, and it becomes more of I should be consulting, you should be a client. I think that’s when it kind of feels weird, in a way. And it’s, it’s tough for me, because I’m a very giving person at the same time. So I answer everyone’s questions. So but I think there’s some times where it feels like I’m being used, or a community is being used by one person or several people. So yeah, I think those are some of the pain points that we go through in community. And I think it’s, it’s easy to be resolved, because the community is supposed to be helping each other. But I think the harder part is trusting some people in the community. And what do you do when you tell them, Hey, we got to kick you out. And I think having guidelines even within the community, whether it’s a discord community, or a Facebook group there moderators that are just as in person, a little bit harder to deal with, but it’s very doable.

Natalie Franke
That’s one of the things that took me a long time, I think to accept as someone who is like a loving people pleaser, sees the best in everyone, my friends call me a gummy bear, because I really, I like I’m a squishy lover of people. And as a community builder, that’s great. But also, you need to have those guidelines and you can’t create like a safe, creative, beautiful space, if you don’t have those structures in place to tell some folks like, Hey, that’s not tolerated, and you can’t you can’t do that you can’t. Right. And so it’s it’s a challenge, I think, for me, and it has been just if I’m being really vulnerable, because I it kills me when I hurt somebody’s feelings and tell them like, hey, like, you know, that was against the guidelines, you can’t say that you can’t even you know, we’ve had self promotion rules, for example. And we lifted those during the pandemic, within our communities because of the need to collaborate digitally, it just it’s skyrocket, and we’re like, Hey, we’ve got the ability, let’s allow people to do it. But it was like prior to that, that was one of the things that killed me. Like, you know, what, it’s just seeking the self promotion and someone’s not contributing, you know, equally and giving value. They’re just you take it, it’s,

Airam Dato-on
it’s hard. Yes, totally. It’s so, so

Natalie Franke
hard. And I think part of that, too, illuminates that our idea, like the meaning of community, what it really means to us as independent business owners has evolved, especially over the last couple of years. Would you agree with that, you know, how do you think your experience of building community at Pexels and you’ve been there I think almost two years, right.

Airam Dato-on
Is that right? Yeah. About a year and a half, two years, almost. Yeah.

Natalie Franke
Yeah. How have you seen you know the way That community’s been built evolve, even in that time, because I would say even in the last year, it’s changed a lot.

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, whether it’s pixels, but I think it started for me when I started to jump on to Tik Tok, even though like, on Instagram,

Natalie Franke
tell me about it. Let’s go here. Let’s go, here I am, let’s go here.

Airam Dato-on
I know you want it to go here, you know I did, we’re starting here. Starting on Instagram, a lot of the people that I connected with were more local, like within the net within my community here in a low in the local Orlando area. And when Tiktok started, for me, in terms of like, during, right before the pandemic is when I jumped on, and even more so during the pandemic, like March, April, May, is when people started to get on even more. And I was finding people from everywhere. And I was just connecting with them. I was messaging them, I was DMing them, we are all connecting with each other friends from in New York City, San Francisco, LA, everywhere, just because of TiC tock. And it was a crazy thing that happened, where these group of people also were getting connected with each other because they’re being thrown to each other’s feeds. And it was so cool to just see a group of people connecting the way that they wouldn’t have had before. And some of these people I’ve met several times, I’ve hung out with them. And we’ve gone to, I’ve gone to travel to them, and they’ve gone to travel to me and we make sure like, Hey, are you around? I’m in Florida, or hey, I’m in LA, are you around, and we make sure we put time and effort to see each other and these are people that like, I probably wouldn’t really have connected at all. And we are just like how we’re connected. I feel like really? Through Tiktok and Instagram.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, yeah. 100%. Alright, give it to me completely straight with this next question. Yeah. Do you show up the same way on Instagram as you do on Tik Tok?

Airam Dato-on
100%?

Natalie Franke
Yes. Okay. Next question, Instagram or Tiktok?

Airam Dato-on
Yes. I would always tell people, yes to both and strategies.

Natalie Franke
Let’s, let’s hear it. What are those strategies

Airam Dato-on
tick tock is very local oriented, like a local discoverability. But also, you can just be shown to anyone at the same time. And so it has a potential of growing a strong community. But you have to have a place for them to go to, to reach you. Because let’s say tick tock DMS is not the best. So it’s not and we all know that. So a way for you to do that is to get them from tick tock to your Instagram. And maybe your Instagram leads you to a mailing list. Another community, a discord community, a lot of people use these bigger platforms to get people to a funnel that leads them to where like, the real interactions happen. And I feel like I’ve moved people from Tik Tok into my Instagram really well, to really get a sense of connection. And I always say yes, because there are different strategies for both.

Natalie Franke
I was not expecting that answer. And I’m pleasantly surprised. Like that was I was expecting a tick tock, but you name it like you nailed the truth there. That is the truth. They were talking about the science of self made success. That is the truth. The reality is both platforms have incredible value for you as an independent business. They’re different, they’re truly different. And, you know, I think about when I first jumped on, and I feel like that’s when I really started to follow your work. And I don’t live in Orlando, but I was getting word for like your photography content. And it’s interesting to me too, with tick tock like, you can create such a wide variety of content and different kinds of things that you’re passionate about things you want to talk about. Like as a business owner, I do some content on business, I talk about Paw Patrol, I talk about all of the random things that it almost throws out some of the old advice of like niching down that I had been, it’s just been drilled into us when it came to Instagram like niche, niche niche, you’re like you’re not niche enough, you can never be niche enough. But on tick tock, it throws you into a cold audience based on the content not necessarily based on you. So you know, when I post about Paw Patrol, all these parents are seeing it on a post about small business all these business owners are seeing it. Have you also experienced that is that kind of why you’re feeling your feet. It’s like so diverse in content. It’s so content rich, and so How many different kinds of avenues?

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, what Tiktok has done is basically you are your own niche. And that’s, and only some people have gotten to really understand that. And people who understood stood that in the beginning, who’s like, why are people telling me to, like, do all these things when I can just do everything. And I think it’s just this year that people started or this year and last year, people started to understand with tick tock, you are your own niche, you just create what you as a brand or as a person love, and it will go because they see and feel the passion in the content that you’re creating. Especially if you’re creating content that you’re still trying to figure out. And you might not know you’re not going to, you’re not going to be passionate about making it and people are going to understand, hey, this is not good, because I can feel that they’re not feeling it too. But when you’re feeling it, people will feel it as well. And it really like just exudes from that. And I’m gonna plug sushi. And she’s like, one of the best examples of you are your own niche, and you just go for it. She’s traveled everywhere. She’s created content, whether it’s food, and it’s all about her, like, what she thinks about other things. And it just flows from that. That’s how she markets as well as brands people. Yeah.

Natalie Franke
For listeners who don’t know who Sookie is. It’s Alison Sugihara. She is a dear friend of both of ours, a mutual friend that we have and she actually came on to the rising tide global Tuesdays together that we hosted on Tik Tok, and help to teach our community a little bit about tick tock as a platform. She’s amazing. So we will make sure to link her in the show notes. So you can go follow for sure IRAM and Alison over there on tick tock and kind of see some of this in action for for anyone listening who is like, Okay, you’re selling me on this idea of like, social media can be a means to connect with people, you’re talking about Instagram, we’re talking about tick tock, for a business owner who doesn’t know where to start? Who truly is like, Okay, I need community, I don’t know enough business owners in my area, or in my niche, or, you know, I just I need to expand and find a place that really fits my values. What recommendations do you have for that first step?

Airam Dato-on
I think if networking like in person, networking is daunting for some people. And I always tell people, community starts with just two people, you and another person. Yeah, and you just find that other person in your community in your local area, or online. There’s people that I’ve just met, like two days ago, and we’ve been connected, like three years on Instagram. But we’ve been in community for like, three years really like talking about content, what kind of content we should make talking about life and the struggles that we’re having. And I think it starts with one person that you just pour into, and from there it grows, where you’re like, Hey, do you know and other people that would want to talk about the same thing that we’re talking about, and you start a group chat. And it grows from there, again, other people start inviting people to these things where then you go into starting meetups with them, and it becomes in person from there, you’ve created a networking event that you were scared of doing before. And I think it really just starts with, find that one person, talk to them, yes, some things might happen. Find another person. And I think the best way is to just start small. And don’t be scared of being vulnerable with other people.

Natalie Franke
That’s such a key part being vulnerable, like being willing to truly allow yourself to be seen, I talk a lot about, you know, the difference between belonging and fitting in and that they are, in many ways the complete opposite. And I think, as creators, as independents, it can be easy to feel this need to fit in and to kind of model yourself to be a certain type in a certain space. But what I’m really hearing is like, No, you need to show up as yourself in these spaces, and truly, like show up as you to find a space where you can really belong and be yourself and allow that vulnerability to be safely received. And so I’d love to know, you know, is that something that you’ve learned as a photographer, or maybe a furthering of that question would be, you know, how has your experience actually working in the community building space at Pexels as like a, you know, not a photographer just in search of community, but actually a community builder in search of cultivating communities for other photographers. You know, what have you learned by doing that? Is there anything that you kind of discovered in that process?

Airam Dato-on
I think it’s more about like What I’ve learned is people aren’t going to be where they are. And you meet them where they are, especially with the Pexels. Community. We have different levels of creators, photographers, videographers are models, where we start, they’re just starting out. And there’s people that are already like, 10, year, 10 years in. And it’s figuring out where they are and talking to them, and understanding their needs. And how can we help you? How can we help you feel more like you belong to this community? Whether it’s your new or you’ve been around for so long? How do we make sure we value your presence, whether it’s online, or in person, and just making sure that they feel like a hero. They’re like, a super person. And I think that’s make like, that’s what it means to like, feel like you belong here. And it’s as easy as me telling them, Hey, I’m glad you’re part of our community. And it just meets them where they might be lacking, because they’re like, oh, my gosh, I’m part of something. Yes, it it’s words are powerful. And the way that you say, and making sure like they feel welcome is a big part of making sure people feel like they’re here.

Natalie Franke
I see you and I hear you are two of the most important sentences that have ever been said to me, and I think so many others. And it’s very clear that you care deeply about that, as a community builder and ensuring that people really feel seen and they feel heard. And I’m curious, you know, have there been any major shifts or changes that you’ve seen, you know, at Pexels, as y’all have cultivated community, I know that you care deeply as well about like inclusivity and community and really creating spaces where, you know, people can show up as their authentic selves and be accepted and embraced and loved for who they are. Anything that, you know, you’re willing to share around, like, how do you do that? How, how have you done that? How do you encourage photographers as well to build these types of spaces in their own businesses and lives?

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, I, there’s in terms of inclusivity, and understanding, like, where some people are, we have neurodivergent Pexels, house meetup hosts, and I try to figure out, hey, like, how can I help you? How do I make sure the structures are there for you, to where it fits how you are as a person, so I’m making sure like, I have specially with our hosts, they’re the ones running the community and ground in their local community, not just like, hey, here’s what you should say. But like word for word, I’ll write it down. Because some people do need that some people don’t, they just use it as a structure. But I make sure like, there’s ones where it’s timed. That schedule is there for them, I give them things, making sure that they’re not in a very crowded place where it’s harder to corral community for in person events. So understanding that way for in person events. And I actually want to do more virtual events for people who might not be able to show up physically, to some events, whether it’s, we’re not in their location, or they are not able to physically as well, whether it’s it’s hard to get to their two hours away, or they have any disabilities or things that hurdles that prevent them from going to some event. So I want to make sure I have events for everyone, because there’s a lot of people that DM us, and we’re like, Hey, can we have an event here? Can we have an event there? I’m like, I’m sorry, we don’t have a host there yet. So I’m trying to figure out how to do more virtual events because we’ve done virtual Hangouts. But there are more sparse, but I want to make sure that we start getting them almost in a bi monthly basis, or at least once a quarter for people.

Natalie Franke
I absolutely love that I think prioritizing accessibility and meeting the community needs where they are instead of expecting community members to adapt to the structure of how an organization is run. That’s a human centered approach that I believe is critical and necessary. And you know, even in our experience, we during the during like the first two years as COVID kind of swept across were completely virtual that we moved to hybrid in terms of how we gather and support our community. And what was really interesting is we just had such an outpouring of gratitude from folks that you know, we had only been in person prior to that very limited virtual resources. Then we go all virtual then we go hybrid, but from So many community members that said like, Hey, I have a disability, and I haven’t been able to show up in person I, you know, am immune compromised of a chronic illness. I can’t, you know, in half of the year during cold and flu season, even prior to COVID. It’s not safe for me to be in large groups of people, busy parents, single parents, I could go on and on and on with just like a multitude of different reasons that folks, you know, maybe never felt like community was truly for them. And they had been excluded. They had been kept out, not intentionally, but the impact was felt. And so I love that you’re all y’all are leaning into, you know, the wanting to do this hybrid virtual and in person, because I do think it opens up the door for more people to have access to one of the most critical factors in running a business, which is community, it is necessary, it is so key and so important. And it’s just music to my ears. I love that our values align on that, because, you know, it’s it’s better for everyone in the community When access is increased, right?

Airam Dato-on
Correct. Yeah, totally. Yeah, it’s something that with Meanwhile, my wife being a bit more immunocompromised as well, it’s something that’s very dear to our hearts of making sure people are part of this. And she’s even had, there’s a new, either it’s an app or software or website called COVID meetups, that she is like, connected with people with and whether it’s, oh, let’s go play Minecraft online. And that’s, that’s where community starts is that it doesn’t have to be in person, there’s things that you can do to make it accessible for people.

Natalie Franke
100%. And I agree with that, too. I mean, I neurodivergent and have dealt with my fair share of chronic and health issues, but I had brain tumor, and all of the repercussions of my surgery to remove it. And so, yes, I agree, I relate. And I think it’s incredible for us to be living in a world where community is a click away. Community is a couple keyboard strokes. And you can find people that are passionate about what you’re passionate about that, you know, agree with kind of like your your dreams and your goals and align with that in their own lives and kind of be on that journey with you. And we’ve, again, we’ve now it’s this is very much an exciting time to be alive. Because, you know, it used to be if you were really, really passionate about a certain topic, and it was super nice, you might be the only person in your entire area that you’ve ever spoken to, that cares about something. I’ll give an example. My husband, my husband, who is super, super passionate about crosswalks. And I know that’s obscure and sort of niche. But this is like his thing, like when I tell you he has had four crosswalks installed in our neighborhood out of reaching out to government officials to increase accessibility. Like that’s his thing. He wants safe pedestrian spaces and more accessible pedestrian. That’s like he just has decided that’s his passion. If you had told me that, and when he first told me it was getting really into this, I’m like, Okay, I’ve never met anyone in my life. Who is a warrior for crosswalks, I’ve just, I’ve never met anyone. There are massive communities of people that are so passionate about the same things that my husband is passionate about. And he has access to that by going and looking and searching the internet and finding other folks that are passionate about these issues that have templates for reaching out to your local government officials for I could go on and on and on. And so something that at one point seemed so niche to the point where I was like, I mean, you’re alone on this one buddy, like whew, you are the only one come to find out how wrong I was. And yet again, like that is something that I hear, you know, we’re talking about communities and in your case with pixels for photographers, with HoneyBook we’re working with independent businesses a little bit of a larger niche. But even within that, like if you are, you know, a very specific type of creator. If you’re passionate about a very specific type of thing, all of this advice applies, like, you know, go and figure out where you can find your folks start on the internet start online. You know, I just think it’s it’s such an exciting time to really lean into that

Airam Dato-on
truly is truly is I need to connect with you because yeah, we need more crosswalks here in Orlando. We don’t tell her no the places don’t tell him that he will. We’ll be on the next plane. My wife and I are like also do the same. Like we need a crosswalk here. Like there are places where we know we can and also you need to go to Hong Kong just for you to experience the crosswalks over there. Whether lists it’s a very iconic crosswalk from the sounds like accessibility sounds to the way things are put together. Yeah.

Natalie Franke
That’s awesome. Yeah, Hong Kong is on my list. I’m very, very jealous. I saw you mentioned that that you’ve gone and gosh, it’s it’s definitely a dream to go when we look into the future, the future We have work, we can take this so many different directions. I mean, the future of work the future as a creative or as an independent business owner, the future of community. Can you just tell me like, give me some of the things that you see coming towards us? Like, what what do you what are you excited about? What are you nervous about? What do you think the future looks like, in all the arenas that this community lives in and is facing?

Airam Dato-on
I’m, I’m excited, I’m really excited for what community is about to be going towards, I think people are just starting, whether it’s companies starting to figure out community is what they need. And it’s part it’s their biggest, it’s their consumer base. And they need to find a way to connect those people in order to grow their company in order to grow, what they’re trying to do for their mission and vision to go forward. They need the community to go along with them. And I think, slowly, and I think with the help of Yelp, being, I think, a great example of a company that was really built on community and a group of people getting to review restaurants, they’re like, cool, they’re reviewing restaurants. But what if we gathered them, and from there, it doesn’t gross. And a lot of people hire community builders, or community managers, and they’re from Yelp. And so you see what the impact of Yelp is in terms of community and they started 10 years ago, and people are just catching on in the last five, eight years, I feel like, and it’s just about to grow harder than it did in the past 10 years.

Natalie Franke
Yes, first person I reported to at honey book, way back in the day, when I started about seven and a half years ago, was Lauren Esler. She’s now the VP of community at Reddit, she came from Yelp, she was a Yelp community leader and had been instrumental in actually building out so much of the Yelp model of community. And so it’s so funny that you say that, because she really set the gold standard for me, as you know, in the early days of growing rising tide, and just thinking about community development on the grassroots level in local communities, and how do you approach the fact that every community is different, their needs are different, you know, and like all of these big questions, and she was such a great resource. And so it’s so funny that you say that and I’m also I love Yelp as a just a way to support small business, I’m like a big, if I eat at a small independent restaurant, if I go to a local coffee shop, while I’m traveling, if I, I love being a part of that community, because it’s one, you know, tool in my toolkit for advocating for independent businesses just by writing a review. And I built my own community that way, I’ve met, you know, restaurant tours locally, a food truck owner, who I kept going every weekend, and I kept posting these updated photos of what they were baking, and we connected now we’re very close friends, we text all the time, you know, I think it’s incredible. When other companies and brands, you’re right, are investing in community and facilitating these spaces, so that as an independent business, we then get to benefit whether that’s Pexels, whether that’s HoneyBook, whether that’s Yelp or what have you, it is a really exciting future ahead. I do have a question for you. And this is something that I’ve really challenged or been challenged with as a community builder. But how do you measure the ROI of community? Like, like, how do you are you’re laughing because this, this is a hard one. And as a business owner, so I’m asking this from the lens of community builder, because anyone who’s built a community worked in a company, you kind of prove out to folks like, the value in what you’re doing and the work you do every day. But even as an independent, you know, as an independent business owner, you’re like, Okay, if I go spend time investing in relationships, if I go and show up to this meetup, if I go to the pet Pexels networking event, or the HoneyBook, you know, conference one day that I’m dreaming up for the future, you heard it here first. I mean, there’s no plans, but I’m just gonna keep saying it until it manifests into reality, all of these things. What is the ROI? Is it worth my time as a business owner, when you’re working for a company, and you’re building it, you know, it’s like, how do you quantify the return on that investment? How do you think about it?

Airam Dato-on
Yeah, I don’t know. I think we still try to figure that out. For Yeah, I mean, there’s the numbers. There’s the numbers of, oh, this is how many people we’ve grown. Cool, but what is the impact? Like we can, we can all get the stats of this is how many downloads this person got. This is how many uploads we’ve gotten in the past year, which we are able to count that that’s a good ROI for us, but I think there’s more to community than just numbers, and it’s the impact of what Each what we’re doing for each other is and what I’ve seen within my community and the community we’re building is people collaborating after a meetup people getting together, telling people, Hey, I can’t do this gig, can you do it? So it’s like, it’s becoming a very synergistic community. And I think it comes from that hearsay of, you’re hearing from other people. And that’s what I report or report to my boss and be like, Hey, check this out. Check this out. And it’s all those little tiny stories that we might not see in the stat line that shows up in the real ROI of community. That’s, that’s a book that’s a book that like, that needs to be written. I’m

Natalie Franke
gonna write a book. Yes, yes. You’re gonna know, maybe I, I could not agree more. And for anyone who’s listening and not watching the YouTube version of this, you didn’t see the furious nodding, and, you know, fake hand snapping that I was doing behind the scenes with every mic drop moment that I room just said here? Because, yes, like, I have nothing else to add. Yes, it’s, you know, done that. 100% Correct. And we sometimes forget, one relationship has the power to change our entire life. Meeting one person could change your entire life. And when you think back on your business, I’m curious, like, have you had any relationships like that? Have you had anybody that opened a door for you or that you know it because you said yourself community is to people, you know, it starts there, it starts with one relationship. I would love to know if you’ve had any, any real community moments in your career that have been transformative.

Airam Dato-on
So I’m gonna give my friend Reggie Ballesteros a shout out here because he’s, we’ve kind of grown so at read up photo, we’re adding people in the show notes like left and

Natalie Franke
right. It’s gonna be long, great show notes for this one.

Airam Dato-on
Read up photo. We were watching. He was part of the future with Christo. And I was just watching one of Korea’s Cristos videos back in 2020. And we were trying to figure out how content was changing for photographers and for Instagram. So we were working together, we were working separately actually, that almost the same kind of content trajectory. We were creating educational content on Instagram, for photographers, and I was like, this was never this is nowhere to be found on Instagram. Why is it going on YouTube? When photographers are on Instagram, and that’s when I started creating carousels. 10 slides that would educate someone, and he was doing the same thing. And we found each other and connected with each other. And just grew from that, when real started to hit. He was asking me questions about how to get into short form. I was asking him questions about carousels. It became a very symbiotic relationship of like, growing together on Instagram, we were growing almost the same rate on Instagram and building a community. And his goal is to educate a million photographers. And he’s like, set on that goal. Yeah,

Natalie Franke
surround yourself with people who push you like that, right? Like that is such a key aspect in the success equation and surround yourself with people that have big goals like yours, and also are willing to fight to help see you win, right community doesn’t have to be a space where you’re afraid or you feel other people are a threat or you can’t trust like we’ve touched on that fear that scarcity mindset, whatever it is for you. You can truly believe in community over competition, you can adopt a mindset of saying, Hey, we do similar things. We’re creating similar content. What if we actually helped each other? What if we shared our learnings? What if we support each other with with both of you sounds like you did. And that is so powerful. That’s so incredible. Well, listen, I would talk to you all day, if I could. And I would keep you and just keep chatting. But I want to kind of bring us to a little bit of a wrap up. And I have a question that I love to ask at the end of episodes that everyone has had a different answer for. And I can’t wait to hear what yours is. It could be related to what we talked about. It could be totally something different. But this is a podcast about the science of self made success. And so I wanted to ask, What do you think is the biggest thing that differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail?

Airam Dato-on
I think it’s about whether it’s a small business or a bigger business. I think you have to compete with yourself. I think you have to stop comparing with others, even though yes, you do. If you’re a big, bigger business, you kind of have to You understand your competition. But as a self made business, as an independent creator, you have to understand at the very beginning to at the very end where you’re wanting to be. You need to compete with yourself and look at where you’ve gone, and where you’re going and stop looking at others. Because then you’ll start losing sight of where you’re going when you start looking and comparing with others.

Natalie Franke
With that mic drop, everyone. Oh, so good. I remember, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast, I have no doubt that everyone is going to want to know more about where they can find you. And hear about the work you’ve been doing with Pexels and these amazing meetups that I keep hearing whispers about. And so I want to turn it over to you where can folks learn more

Airam Dato-on
for the meetups, go [email protected] on Instagram, or pexels.com/meetups. And you’ll find them all over there. And we have meetups all over the world. We have community managers in Latin America, we have community managers in Brazil, Turkey, and we’re growing our team. And so we also have a global community manager role that is open on Pexels as well. But if you want to join us in person meetups and hopefully to a virtual event, just go to app pexels.us For all those

Natalie Franke
amazing and then if folks want to follow you on tic tac, where can they go to see this awesome content? Yes, so

Airam Dato-on
at RMD photo on Tiktok, and Instagram.

Natalie Franke
Amazing. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today.

Airam Dato-on
Thank you for having me.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Episode 14 Transcript: Create your own everyday magic with Mattie James

Natalie Franke
I don’t know who this is for. But if you’re an independent business owner that is in need of some encouragement and wants to feel your soul set on fire then this episode is a must listen because let me tell you something right now. Mattie James is the real deal. She is the lifestyle expert and author behind the Mattie James company and best selling book everyday magic. After being crowned Miss Liberia USA in 2009. Mattie started blogging as a hobby and grew it into a seven figure business that many of you know today. As a lifestyle expert and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience Mattie has been featured on Good Morning America, in essence, Forbes, Business Insider, NBC cosmopolitan I could keep going on and on and on and on. But let me tell you this. Mattie is someone who walks the walk, she has had phenomenal business success, she is a mom to some extraordinary little kids. She juggles so many things all at once. And in the chaos of day to day has found ways to not only see magic, and experience it, but also fuel it within herself. We’re going to talk today about how she wrote her book and what it means to create everyday magic and how ultimately we can own our own magic as business owners. This is the episode that is going to let your soul on fire and get you fist bumping the sky because Mattie James, my friends, is an extraordinary, extraordinary human being. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Franke, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.

Natalie Franke
Hey, Mattie, thank you so much for joining me today.

Mattie James
Thank you so much for having me, Natalie. I’m excited to be here.

Natalie Franke
We were talking before we hopped on about when I was setting up for this interview and doing my additional research. I didn’t even know where to take this conversation. I was like, this woman is extraordinary, incredible business owner, mother, friend, leader. I get like, just on and on and on and all the things that you’ve done in your career. And so I want to just start there with your journey, like the journey that led you to where you are today. If you’re willing to kind of give us a peek behind the curtain. Let us know how did you get here? And how did you get to the point where you wrote your book everyday magic?

Mattie James
Yeah, it’s That’s so kind because my husband and I were talking about that today. We had a tickle a road trip this morning heading back home. And we were talking about that because I think that is both the the gift and the curse, right? When you can do a lot of things he’s done. It is still important to decide what a focus is in a particular season. And I think that’s the season I am certainly and it’s like, Okay, I’ve done all these things. And all of these things, meaning I started out I went to school for broadcast journalism. The funny joke, well, not a joke, because it’s a truth. The funny truth is, is that I’m the only one on my team who does not have a college degree. I’m the only one who didn’t finish school. I left school early, I thought I was going to become a pop star. I moved to New York City. I’m first American generation in a West African family where my family’s from Liberia. And let me just be clear that my West African father was not entertained that I decided to leave college to go become a singer. Spoiler, I don’t become a singer. You know, I don’t land that super amazing album deal or record deal that I thought I was going to land. I do audition for American Idol. I don’t make it. I auditioned for making the band, you know, uh, don’t make it. And I lived in New York for a year but it really what I think New York was for me was it taught me work ethic. Because it was the first time I wasn’t in the bubble of my parents, you know what I mean? I didn’t have that safety net. And I you know, grew up the way I grew up, I was really always like, we were always the token black family and all white environment. So I also think it exposed me to so much culture, you know, and I mean, not even just black and white. I mean, you know, Jewish, you know, Asian, Puerto Rican Dominican, I, you know, all the things so I think that was just such a really good education for me, even though it wasn’t quote unquote, college. Fast forward after like, 2006 I left school well, not school, I left New York. I moved here to Atlanta because my maternal grandfather had fallen ill and I’m so glad I did because I ended up spending that last year of his life here, and then I just started working retail which I would not wish on my worst enemy. The hours are not awesome, but I learned a lot about sales. And it’s, you know, when you look back, it’s easy now to see what certain points of your life were for. Because I definitely know for a fact that working in retail taught me the art of sales. And I did that for about I got maybe like three years. And my I still had this dream, though, of being a host or journalist or whatnot. So I ended up I meet Chris, you know, who was my boyfriend, then fiance now husband, we get engaged or whatnot. I am like, I kind of have like a little moment where I’m like, I want to start my life as a woman as a wife, you know, working retail. So, so I left retail, became an intern, and started working for a radio station. And at the time, it was the largest sports radio station in Atlanta. I was a marketing intern there and I was the first person to start their street team or whatnot. And it was really great. From that internship, I actually made a connection, I actually had real impressed the VP of the radio station. He then actually connected me to a friend of his who ran marketing for Brown Forman, the makers of Jack Daniels and I ended up getting a more another marketing opportunity and internship there. While I was there, I won Miss Liberia, USA, and then six weeks later, I got married. So it was a lot going on. But it was 2009 and I don’t know if anybody remembers 2009. But the market had completely just the bottom fell out there was just like nothing happening wasn’t the best time to like figure out your life. But you know, I was just rolling with the punches, we got married, bought a house. And eventually I did have to go get a real job, you know, a nine to five. And so I did wasn’t in retail anymore. But I was a showroom manager for a home decor company for about three and a half years, which also taught me so much of what I do now. It really did teach me about merchandising really did teach me about marketing. I definitely used a lot of the things i i learned from retail and just even learned in New York City just kind of hustling and bustling, and then I got let go from that job. Almost four years later, they did a lot of changes. And then since then, that was in 2015. I have been a full time creator and entrepreneur. And so essentially now I run the Mati Jas company, which essentially houses all of like my social media and Mattie james.com. And I also run boss fluence, which is a professional organization that teaches creators influencer marketing and how to create a profitable business. That was the Cliff Notes version. But maybe I’ll write the book one day where I’m like, there’s a lot in between

Natalie Franke
there, there is so much to unpack from that. I mean, one of the biggest things that just stands out is your ability to find and I’m going to use some of your beloved words here. Find the magic, yeah, each season of your life. And you know, whether it was college or making that brave and bold decision to pursue your dreams and your passions, when that didn’t turn out the way maybe you had hoped. You didn’t ever let that stop you, you kept going into the next thing and the next thing and it almost as if like as even hearing you retell it. It’s incredible because I could hear a different version, through someone’s mind that didn’t see the magic. Like if someone else were to tell that story. It wouldn’t, it wouldn’t have maintained kind of that that magic and those learnings from season to season to season. Because you haven’t once like even in you know, college, you took this bold leap, becoming a pop star. It didn’t work out. But it was never a failure. It was a launchpad. Right, it was a launchpad into something else. It was a launchpad for every business owner listening to this right now, I think you’re hearing what success truly can look like. Right? What you’re hearing is, as you move through your life, and you’re defining success, and Mattie continues to define success and push boundaries, and like you’re just getting started, I know you are just getting started. Right? We have the ability to reframe our relationship with our own journey and with failure. And so kind of leading into this idea of everyday magic. You know, what does that even mean? What does it mean to create everyday magic?

Mattie James
Yeah, it’s so interesting, because I guess I did stop. I stopped at 2015 When I went full time and then, you know, really learned the ins and outs of influencer marketing. And what was very interesting was in 2015, our first daughter Mesa was nine months when I got Lego for my job. And so what has happened throughout my career as a creator is that my family has grown, you know what I mean? And we moved from our first home to our second home. So what was happening is that as I was growing in business, I was also growing in life. And I think that is such a really delicate journey to balance because I think that This is happening for so many of us. And it was really hard. And it was really hard because I treated it like it was a performance instead of being present and the reality of what it was. And so eventually, in 2016, that led to my husband and I getting separated. I talked about this in the book, and that was really hard. Spoiler, we’re still married, we’re doing it much better shout out to therapy and shout out to to God. And it was really important to me to do life differently after going through that, because I wanted my daughter to experience a way better version of not only me, but her parents after going through that, and she was so young when that happened. So I think we were able to kind of rectify any kind of collateral damage. But I think what I learned is that, instead of trying to make things perfect, instead of trying to make things, a spectacle for the sense of getting credit, I really had to create something that encouraged me to get up every day and do the work. And that’s what everyday magic is. It’s basically a LiFE framework where you make every day meaningful, aesthetically pleasing, goal oriented, intentional and consistent. And when I realized that any time I make life, one of those things, I am so deeply full. And so it’s like so why don’t I just make this a habit? Why don’t I make this like a foundation of how I approach life. And what it does is one, it’s so personal. So you Natalie’s you know, magic is not going to look like Mattie’s magic, you know, and I mean, Lisa’s magic isn’t going to look like Tom’s magic, it’s just going to be completely different. And that’s why it matters, right? Because each and every single one of us has something that matters to us. That’s why it’s meaningful. Everybody deems something specifically beautiful to them. And that matters. And it’s funny, because when I read the reviews of the book, which have just been so again, encouraging, I know I use that term a lot. But I truly know that that’s my gifting, like I was put on this earth to encourage others. And so for it to be encouraging to me, it’s just so fulfilling. But it was interesting. So many people were surprised that aesthetics were part of that framework, right? I think we all talk about intention, I definitely talk about consistency a lot. We all know that we need to set goals. But the reason why aesthetics was so important was because aesthetics is about creating safety. When we deem something aesthetically pleasing, we all feel more safe, right? When you walk into a spa and you hear soothing sounds, you feel safe at that spot when you’re traveling and you walk into a hotel that is visually aesthetically pleasing to you guess what? You feel safe in that hotel. So when I say aesthetics, yes, I do mean the literal sense, but not in the sense of being aimlessly materialistic, but certainly in the sense of creating safety and personalized safety at that. And I think sometimes we completely underestimate how important that is, especially in our everyday lives.

Natalie Franke
I couldn’t agree more. I absolutely couldn’t agree more as someone who’s neurodivergent with ADHD and has struggled with that, for a lot of my life, something as simple as clutter to somebody else wouldn’t bother them. To me, it becomes such a catalyst for an inability for me to do anything else, I have such a difficult time working in a space where it’s cluttered, or I haven’t taken the time to organize or clean. And if you lean into the science of this, because we do like to do that around here. There’s also some really interesting research around things like clutter and the impact that working in a space is cluttered can have on you and also even something like you know bright light, working in a space with light high ceilings, increase your creativity, I will link that in the show notes. So So being intentional about you know where you’re working if you can, and if you’re you I work in my bedroom every day, but I open all the blinds, right? I try to cultivate that aesthetic space where I feel safe to create safe to dream. And so it doesn’t have to be a Pinterest board right looking looking space. No, it’s about taking control over what you can right and using what you have to create a space that you love to be in and to see the person you’re becoming right in in the aesthetics of that space. Which is so inspiring and I love I love the a of the MA GIC.

Mattie James
Yes, the alien magic is important. You know what I mean? All of its important but the A is really important. And to your point when I was doing research for the book, and I think I elaborate on this in the making your space magic chapter I talk about how clutter you know what I mean for everyone, you know, literally He creates micro trauma, right? So when you’re trying to function in a space that has clutter, right? It literally is, like, traumatizing you and like, I think sometimes like, we are annoyed. And we think like, it’s just us being annoyed. And it’s like, no, no, no, you’re actually, like you’re actually getting emotionally traumatized, because you have something that is out of order. And the the example I love to give is that when you go to a public bathroom, when you see a sign that says out of order, what does it mean that it doesn’t work. And so anytime you are in a space that has clutter, and it is literally out of order, you are in a space that actually technically is not working. And when you are in a space, trying to do any kind of work, whether it’s domestic or professional, or creative, and you’re trying to function in something that doesn’t work, you’re trying to function and confusion. And I mean, that’s literally hustling backwards. And so for me, it’s important for us to understand that these details in the magic are not things that we are, you know, they’re they’re big deals, and we should approach them as such, you know what I mean? If something matters to you really understand why that matters, and figure out how you can create a little bit of it every single day, or at least on a weekly if not monthly basis. Same thing with aesthetics, you know what I mean? Same thing with your goals, you know, I’m like, it’s impossible to score without a goal. And we have to do things intentionally. And my favorite thing to say about intention is that it doesn’t have to be deep, it just has to be deliberate. You just have to do something on purpose, we are all vehicles of purpose. And last but not least, if you’re not doing it consistently, then it really shows whether or not you are committed to it. And the thing I love to over emphasize to everybody is that you are the magic, the thing that you’re saying is meaningful is magic, because you are the person who literally justifies it, right? You justify why something’s meaningful, you justify why it’s aesthetically pleasing, why it’s goal oriented, intentional or consistent. So you are the magic. And so understanding that and having that mindset, and anything you do, and I always think it has to start at home and with life first because I always tell people, if you cannot handle home, baby, you’re not gonna be able to handle business. And we just have to, we just have to do things in order we just talked about when it’s out of order is not going to work.

Natalie Franke
I tell you dropped so many mics, there are no mics left Mattie, like I say, what do we what do we even say from there, I mean, my gosh, you’re 100% right on every single front. And it also makes me even think down. Like as you were talking about aesthetics, you’re talking about clutter, I’m thinking about how we run our businesses, and all the work that I do day in and day out, you know, with client flow and with honey book. And it matters like having a streamlined process, having clear objectives, feeling that momentum of your life moving and not getting stuck, right not feeling friction, not having too many things all surrounding you where you are overwhelmed. And all of this plays into how we can show up and then use our magic to make an impact in the world, which all of us have an opportunity to do every single human being every one of you listening to this, you have so much potential to impact so many people. And so one question I would have is, you know, what would your message be to somebody that maybe doesn’t feel that they can own their own magic? Like maybe somebody that feels like, well, this, this is great for other people, but like, what about me, like what do I have to offer? What would you what would you say to them?

Mattie James
That’s such a great question. It really is about stopping and allowing yourself to be still and either revisiting or even visiting for the first time. What your why is why are you doing anything that you are doing? Right? Does it always starts with purpose, your purpose is your why? And again, it doesn’t have to be deep, it just has to be deliberate, but it’s also okay, if it’s deep, you know, for me, I started boss fluence, and we just had to talk about this because I’m like, already have such a very active and busy personal brand that I didn’t really have a reason to start boss looms as an organization. But when I first started blogging and creating in 2009, I was often always the only black creator in a campaign I was like, you know, one if not two. And after a while, it definitely gets old being the only and especially growing up like that. I have had a lot of experience. And for me, I really wanted to create an organization where black creators could come in and learn the ins and outs can get taught, you know what I mean? Could be provided resources and experiences with like minded people where they didn’t feel like the only and that they could also be taken seriously. That’s my why. You know what I mean? And that’s my Y is completely okay, your Y is completely okay. A, but it’s gonna be hard to maximize your magic to literally fully just reach the highest peak of your potential when you don’t have an understanding. And a lot of times we’re so busy trying to have an agreement with what society thinks we should be, instead of individual and personal lies understanding that we miss out on the magic not because we’re stupid, not because we’re, we’re late not because of anything other than we didn’t stop and take the time out to get the understanding. You know, this is something I literally have just learned in marriage counseling. For the longest time, I thought that my husband was seeking constant agreement, when he was literally just seeking constant understanding, the most important thing that you can do to any person on the face of this earth is to understand them. But that also includes yourself. So if you are unsure of what your magic is, just take some time out journal, you know what I mean? Even if you don’t have a lot of time I get it. We have little kids, we have school, we have work, we have all the things, start to journal, start to write down ideas that you have, and then start to seek the common thread. But anything that makes you light up has everything to do with your magic. And every single one of us has light, which is why all of us have magic. And I talked about this yesterday, actually at the conference I was speaking at is that a lot of times, we don’t give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, especially women. And I think the thing you have to realize is that you have a light, and you have permission to shine. And that I thought I think it was interesting to me that when I was doing my research, I was like, Oh, the first thing that God created this, like, the first thing that God created was like, right. And I was like, oh, so when he creates each of us, I imagine that’s the first thing that he creates in each of us. And our job is to find out how our light is a sign for us to shine and whatever capabilities right? Whether you’re somebody who is vegan, and you make incredible vegan food, and you get people excited about eating more plant based, whether you get excited about or whether you’re supposed to shine in a way that gets people excited about being an independent business owner, or whether you’re somebody who gets people excited about, you know, smartphones, there’s no wrong answer here. But anything that literally makes you feel like you’re lighting up has everything to do with your assignment. And your assignment is magic. There’s no question about it. And so it’s really important, it’s really important, even like I was just telling the story, figuring out that common thread, right? When I was telling my story, what I understood was that I was okay with moving forward, I was okay with continuing with going and I was going to shine my light, whether I was an intern, I was going to shine my light, whether I was in New York City, I was going to shine my light, whether it was in Atlanta, but your job is to continuously find and seek things that make you shine your light because you are that you are literally light walking on this earth and is your job to shine. And anytime we live our lives, we operate in business and in life, we’re we’re shining our light, we’re giving other people permission to shine as well. And if you ask me a light, that shining bright essentially makes the world a better place. I’m okay with that sounding as cliche as it possibly sounds. But you and I can both you know, we can both say that the world would be a better place if we were all shining a lot more.

Natalie Franke
Yes, I agree. 110%. And speaking of shining, like one of the things I think a lot of business owners struggle with, and we I hear this all the time, you know, it’s just the amount of tasks that they feel like they have to take on in any given day, right? Like all of the work that goes into running a business, all the work that goes into leading a team, all the work that goes into strategizing and thinking beyond just the day to day tasks. I could just keep going and going and going. And I know that we spoke together at a conference a couple of weeks ago, in Nashville, Tennessee, and you know, we talked a lot about marketing. We talked a lot about like marketing strategy, the future of marketing, what’s emerging in the influencer space, what is you know, kind of changing in the landscape. I didn’t even touch on marketing and all of those first couple of sentences of things that are on on an independent business owners plate. And so I’m curious you know, you wear a lot of those hats you carry such an immense amount of responsibility on your shoulders at any given time. Like all of our listeners do. Any advice for navigating it when the days just feel so heavy, like when all of that just feels because I know it seems effortless like you and I were chatting it’s sunshine and yet I also know that when the cameras are off like you also have responsibilities immense once right when the business closes for the day. You’re you’re heading home not to relax and put your feet up in the tub. No, no you you are like headed home to raise some extraordinary children and have a partner and be committed in that partnership and take care of family members that you love and friends that you are there for you’re involved in your community locally. Like I could keep going. But my point is for all of us, sometimes that just feels like too much. Yeah, maybe I’m projecting a little here, y’all. Okay? Really, I’m asking for me. Sometimes that feels like too much. How do you push through anyway? And how do you keep going? And any advice or anything that you’re willing to share? Even if it’s just vulnerable and real? And I’m here for it. I’m welcoming it?

Mattie James
It’s such a good question. Because I don’t know anybody who doesn’t ever feel this way every once in a while, right? Because it can just be a lot. And I think you have to take a deep breath. Really, that’s like the first thing I always start with, because it’s like, Am I just getting enough oxygen? Or maybe I’m not, you know what I mean? So let me take a couple of deep breaths. And then let me start to figure out what I’m really actually to me, it’s usually like, whenever I feel like something is too much, I usually am feeling like, I’m not enough in some capacity. And then I need to understand where that came from. That’s really it right? So if I’m feeling like, for instance, right now, in my company, I am the sole content creator, everybody else does everything else, right? Everybody else either runs the community, they handle brand marketing and correspondence, or they handle operations. But right now, in my company, I’m the only content creator. And so what has been intense is being like, oh, my gosh, I feel like I’m the only one who was doing this. And you know, it’s just a lot, right. And a lot of it really was, you don’t think you can get this done. And it’s like, and you don’t think you can get this done because you believe that you’re not organized enough, right? And you don’t believe you’re an N, you believe you’re unorganized? Because you’re not good at organization? And it’s like, Well, are you not good at organization? Or have you not taken the time out to organize? Because those are two different things, you know, because even if you’re not good at organization, who on your team because you have one, right? You’re I’m so fortunate enough to have that, who on your team is good at organization? And can you sit down with them and be like, hey, I really need help. Because I got to get this content out. As you guys know, we just talked about this in the team meeting, it doesn’t have to be a monologue, this doesn’t have to be a solo mission. Most of the missions that we’re on are not solo missions, but we’re trying to do it by ourselves, which is why it’s not working out for us. The other side of it could be that maybe you are organized, but you haven’t made time to do the organization part. You know, I tell people this all the time, whether you’re an analog person or digital person, you have got to write things down. It is literally something I write in the book, because I’m like, close the tabs in your head. Because anytime we leave tabs open, we leave space for overwhelm. Your job is to close the tabs in your head. So you’re really just thinking about what is in front of you. Anytime we are overwhelmed, we are likely romanticizing the past, right? Or we’re dreaming and hoping for the future. And I think there’s a time and place for that. But once we start doing that in the constant, and we’re not taking the time to be present, then we really have to stop and say, Okay, why am I holding on to something in the past? Or why am I thinking about something in the future? What am I projecting on myself thinking that I’m not enough for, because that’s usually where it comes from, you feel like you have so much going on, and that you’re not enough for it to handle. And it’s like, you’re right, you need to ask your coworker, you need to ask your assistant, you need to ask your partner, you need to ask your kids, if they can actually, you know, load the dishwasher. You know what I mean? While you finish your dinner, and whenever I have been honest with myself about that, and that that requires an explicit honesty that isn’t always comfortable. But a lot of times it’s freeing because it’s like, I’m actually not bad at this, I just actually don’t have to do it by myself, because I don’t have the capacity to but also I’m not supposed to. There’s very, very few things that we’re supposed to be doing on our own, like outside of like, therapy and self care, like everything really could be and should be a collaboration. And I really do believe that and as I get older, deeper into my marriage deeper in parenthood and motherhood deeper into entrepreneurship, I fully wholeheartedly believe that

Natalie Franke
community is critical. It is a foundation from which we succeed and we grow. I completely agree. And I’m curious, like in your journey, I mean, you really you’ve worn so many hats, you’ve you’ve taken on so many different projects. And now you’re at this place where you know you’ve again, you are a success, you have made such an incredible successful business and life for yourself. If you want to go back to the Maddy, who was telling her parents telling her dad that she was going to leave College and was facing a lot of fear, probably feeling the weight of some judgment from somebody you respect immensely and want to be proud of you, right? You’re going through that moment in your life, if you were to go back and talk to her, what would you tell her? What would you say to her on that, that precipice of taking that big leap and doing something that that scares her,

Mattie James
I would tell her that your belief in yourself is huge, and it’s going to help you become the woman you’ve always wanted to be. And that dad, not only is going to be proud of you, he’s going to be the first person to read and finish your book and to tell other people about it. Like, it’s so funny how immensely proud of me he is, because he’s just really such a traditional West African dad, like, if you’re not a doctor, or a lawyer, like in our community, it’s like, what is the point? I think, for me, it has been really huge, because I own you know, when you’re that young, I think, you know, the beauty of being in your 20s is that you have just like this, this blind courage, this blind bravery. And so I was just like, Well, no, I know, it’s gonna work out for me, I know, it’s gonna work out for me. And as you get older, and as you get more logical, you lose more and more of that. And so honestly, even though I would have a lot of advice and tidbits for her, I certainly would love to see her now, so she can rub off some of her courage on me. Because I think sometimes, too, you have that energy, because I didn’t have kids, I didn’t have a mortgage. I didn’t have all these other things that I have going on now. Will that make me kind of reconsider, like, Okay, should I take this risk? You know, what I mean? Like, how will it affect my family or whatnot. But what I would let her know is that her tenacity is going to pay off her willingness to show up and do the work. And that’s really what it’s all about, right? Do you have a willingness to do the work, you know, yes, you are going to get tired. And yes, you should recognize when you need rest, when you need help, and when you should be still. But then also, again, make sure that you are in tune with the magic of your current season, and then go and do the work. That’s why the magic is so important, because it justifies the work. Because, you know, I love what the Rock says he’s like, everybody’s tired, but we all got to work. Everybody tired, we all got to work. So we just need a good reason to work. Because when we don’t have that reason, you know what I mean? It’s kind of like when you’re working out, uh, you know, you have like three more reps and like your arms are shaking and stuff like that. But you’re like, you know what, I’m going to Bermuda in three weeks. And I know what my arms need to look like in this swimsuit. So I have a reason that’s part of the magic, right? That’s part of the magic. The magic just justifies the work because the work has to get done anyway.

Natalie Franke
Yes, and you so much that you said in there, one I want to highlight is, a couple of times, as you were retelling your story, you said, I knew it was going to work out, it’s going to work out for me, it’s going to work out. And I love that because I think you know, that is a mantra, even for anyone listening to this, like reminding yourself, it’s gonna work out for me, it’s gonna work out for me, just affirming that even if this particular thing doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that the journey isn’t going to it doesn’t mean that you aren’t stepping into the person that you’re becoming to do extraordinary things. It I could hear you reminding yourself over and over again, hey, if if this if not this path, it’s going to work out for me, it’s going to work out for me. And it. It’s such a powerful statement. So to take that away. Yes, absolutely. And then the meaningful aspect of that magic, like leaning into that, especially when things get hard, especially when you’re faced with, you know, unforeseen challenges in business or facing the criticism of folks that love you so fiercely, that they’re afraid for you, right? Which is so often a common thing where it’s like, yeah, where somebody might say like, Oh, don’t go do this thing. And it’s not because they don’t believe in you. It’s not because they don’t want to see you happy and successful. It’s because they love you oftentimes, so much and so deeply and so fiercely, that the thought of you failing shreds than to bet as a mom, I know this feeling Yes. With my loved ones. Like, I just want them to be happy to have joy and have success. And anytime I see one of my kids running towards like, you know, generally at this point, they’re toddlers, so it’s a physical, you know, threat to their safety. Like, you know, my especially my daughter, she has zero fear and so she’ll just climb things jump off things, and I, I feel a pit in my stomach and I’m gasping for air and I realize I can’t stop her from doing those things. Right? And for leaping into the unknown, even if I know she’s gonna skin her knees or I worry that she will Yes, because there’s also the possibility that she won’t, and that she’ll catch her balance and that she will keep running.

Mattie James
Yep, yep. Because also how do you learn balance without leaping? There’s I don’t know. Anyway, Also, the other thing that we were talking about yesterday is that, um, like also, what lesson do you learn that when you’re only told it once, you have to go through something, you know, repeatedly to really get it, you know what I mean? Like even thinking about the, the concept of riding your bike and learning how to ride your bike without training wheels, you had to fall so many times, but again, you were just so dedicated least I was, I remember being six years old, in Huntsville, Alabama, learning how to ride my bike without training wheels in our apartment complex, and just how many times I fell down, you know what I mean? And I’m pretty sure I skinned my knee. But I was like, regardless of that pain, I still want to know how to ride my bike. And now it’s a skill that I have forever, right? You know, so it’s like, also extend yourself grace, like, just because you didn’t get something the first time doesn’t mean again, that you’re bad, or that you’re stupid, or that, you know, you’re, you know that something is wrong with you, right. And that’s, that’s always what’s so fascinating to me that as human beings, we have this tendency to automatically assume that something is wrong with us, when there is so much right with you, and you miss out because you want to focus on what’s wrong with you. And it’s like people are literally dreaming to be in the position that you’re in, you’re not I mean, to have the the access that you have to have the position that you have to have the mindset that you have. But we get caught up and like a one or two things that are different from a friend of ours or a colleague of ours or somebody that we admire. And it’s like, I want you to focus on what is right with you, and then blow that out of the water, right that to the wheels fall off. Because that’s really what we’re all doing. None of us, none of us are perfect, right? All of us are magic. And the people who decide to focus on their magic are the people who win. And I talk about this all the time, when I was talking to my sister about this, who’s also an entrepreneur who just blows me out of the water, she teaches people about finding their messaging and getting clear on their messaging. And the reason why she’s so good at that is because she has the ability, because she’s confident herself for you to tap into your confidence and operate your messaging out of that, if you got crazy. And for a year, you just operated every day at a high confidence where you’re like, I’m magic, even if I don’t have X, Y and Z I imagined and you just operate from that, not only would your business change, your life would change. So it’s like stop defaulting to what’s wrong default to what’s right. You and then use what’s right to be a solution to what you deem, quote unquote, what’s wrong, or just run with what’s right. You’re not I mean, we’ve got to shift our mindset mindset literally will make or break your magic.

Natalie Franke
Wow, this has been such an incredible episode, I am going to replay this one every time I need encouragement and to feel pumped up and fired up. I always close out the podcast by asking a question and I feel like I might know your answer to this one. But nonetheless, we’re going to ask it anyway, this is a podcast about the science of self made success. And so I want to know, what do you think is the biggest thing that differentiates the businesses that succeed from those that fail,

Mattie James
they never gave up? They never gave up. Anybody can give up. Anybody can give up. But the people who say okay, you know, I might, I might have missed the mark here. But I’m going to still show up. I’m going to show up, even though I looked stupid in front of some people last month, when you know, my email went out. And I didn’t actually put in the names of people. And it just said, you know, first name, I’m going to show up, even though packages showed up to people’s houses late and I told them that they were going to get their products. This time. I’m going to show up, even though I didn’t get selected in this list that I wanted to be a part of, I’m going to show up, you just have to keep on showing up. Again, there are so many reasons why you shouldn’t but the people who keep on going, they are the people who win. They are the people who win. And I mean, and you can see this in so many different examples, in music, in sports, in movies, certainly in business, but in life, the people who keep showing up, not only for themselves, but they show up because they know that their gifting their light their magic is to give other people permission to show up in their gifting their light and their magic as well. That is what will never fail. That is what will never lose. Because when you start to show up out of service for others, and not just to please yourself. It’s really impossible to win and I really truly believe that the brands and the companies and businesses who decide to do that they are the ones who break through the noise To make a real difference,

Natalie Franke
joy and service is such a key core value for me and I love love the conclusion there. That is fantastic Mattie, I have no doubt our listeners are going to want to know more about you want to find you on the internet in all spaces. Also I would love for you to share more about your community that you have and your book everyday magic. So where can our listeners find you?

Mattie James
Okay, so you can get the book everyday magic anywhere where books are sold, but you can certainly find it on Amazon please please grab yourself a copy. I think it’s one of those books that you can reference over and over and over again. You can follow me at the Matty James on social that’s th e ma tt i e j A mes and you can follow my organization boss fluence at B O S. S fluence. We have a free private Facebook group, such a dynamic group in there. We’re super, super encouraging. And of course you can check me up on my website Matty james.com.

Natalie Franke
And as always, as links will be available in the show notes. And we are buying a bunch of copies of Mattie’s book to give away as well. It is amazing. I’ve read it. It’s phenomenal. So I can’t wait for all of you to dig in and keep this conversation going in the pages of her book everyday magic Maddy, thank you so much for joining us.

Mattie James
Thank you so much Natalie for having me.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Episode 13 Transcript: Beating the loneliness epidemic

Natalie Franke
In today’s episode, we are talking about something that impacts half of CEOs half of you. And it is so dangerous to your health that it is similar in lifespan impact to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Any guesses? We are talking about loneliness, I have the opportunity to sit down with award winning journalist Best Selling Author and founder Antonio Neves to talk specifically about the loneliness epidemic, and how we can fight back against the friendship recession. This episode, you do not want to miss it. Before we dive in, please note that this episode contains conversations and statistics about loneliness, mental health and suicide. If you’re not in a place to listen to this, we truly understand and encourage you to skip today’s episode. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Frank, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve it.

Natalie Franke
Antonio, thank you so much for joining me.

Antonio Neves
I’m so happy to be here with you.

Natalie Franke
We always have a good time when we’re talking. And even prior to hopping on this, I was like I need to hit the record button because you just started dropping gold before we even kicked off this interview. And the subject that we were talking about is something that you and I both are very passionate about. We’re talking about the loneliness epidemic, we’re talking about this friendship recession, we’re talking about the fact that so many people are struggling with this. It’s not something we talk about a lot like I mean, truly, maybe you and I do but beyond that, that’s something people like to talk about. And yet, there are so many misconceptions about who it impacts for example, a lot of people think, Oh, if you are successful, if you’re at the top of your game, if you have a ton of followers and friends or a big company that you’ve built, this just isn’t something you struggle with. But I’m curious to know if if you’ve seen that to be different, or what your thoughts are around all of the above.

Antonio Neves
Yeah, the friendship recession. That term which was coined a couple of years ago is absolutely real. I specifically as you look at it when it comes to men, it’s estimated that one in seven men do not have a single friend in their life. Think about that. It’s estimated that 50% of men don’t have the number of friends that they would like. And people said to slip typically stereotypically, but research backs this up typically men don’t share what’s really going on in their life with people with their community and other men. So right now men are struggling with loneliness with isolation with with this connection. And, you know, it’s easy to think that we’re not because we have access to our, to our phone to to send that text or to leave that voice note or to jump on social media. But that is not a substitution for real human connection and men are going through it. And look, Natalie, I experienced this myself. This was like the genesis of my book stop living on autopilot. Eight years ago, like according to the internet, I was living my best life ever. I was speaking on stages all across the world. I was married to a beautiful woman had newborn twins had the house with the white picket fence. And I don’t want to make you know, listeners jealous, but we also were driving a sexy Honda Odyssey minivan. According to the internet, I was living my best life ever. But beside behind the scenes, I was straight up struggling with these newfound responsibilities as an entrepreneur, what it meant to be a husband and what it meant now to be a father, something I didn’t really experience growing up. And what did I start to do, I started to isolate. And I started to disconnect. And things did not change for the better for me until I stopped isolating wasn’t until I stopped disconnecting and started reconnecting with my community intentionally with a specific group of men. That changed absolutely everything for me.

Natalie Franke
What pushed you out of the isolation? Was it a specific instance a moment? Was it something like what actually got you to take that step outside of the loneliness bubble? The darkness, I think of it like a rain cloud, to kind of forge a path forward that was different.

Antonio Neves
Yeah, well, there’s a couple of things. One during this time, I actually developed a horrible secret habit. I became a secret cigarette smoker. And I will never forget, one day I was smoking a cigarette in an alley in Santa Monica, California. And what I perceived to be a homeless man came to ask to borrow a couple of cigarettes. And he looked like he had many better days. So I gave him a couple of cigarettes and we started talking like cigarette smokers do and he noticed that I was wearing this bright green glove on my hand like this plastic glove and he’s like, why are you wearing this green gardening gloves on In your hand while you smoke, and I was like, my wife doesn’t know that I smoke, I wear this so she can smell the stench on my hand. He looked at me like I committed a crime, like he felt sorry for me. Yeah, he was going through something horrible. And he looked at me directly in the eyes and said, Hey, man, you got to figure that out. You got to figure that out. And that moment was like a catalyst for me to start changing things. And it was a reminder that sometimes, you know, angels can show up in the most unique places in our lives. And I’m also fortunate during this time that I had a group of friends that regularly would check in on me, and that would regularly invite me out. And this is a great reminder to everyone listening and watching right now to check in on your friends. We make a lot of assumptions that everything is cool in their life, based on text based on social media updates, etc. But you never know what someone is going through. And what this led to was me meeting with a group of guys on a regular basis. Every Thursday morning at 7am. We met for a walk and talk and a hike. And we talked about business, we talked about relationships, we talked about health, we talked about finances, we talked about parenting, you name it, and it was an environment that was very intentional. Because what we were doing, we were being allies to one another, those people that encourage you that inspire you, that challenge you that push you and here’s a big one that hold you accountable to be the absolute best version of yourself. Those guys knew something was going on. And finally I was vulnerable enough to be willing to share with this group. Why? Because they were vulnerable enough to share with me as well. And now was a major catalyst for me breaking out of this fog, it was straight up community that I was expected to see every single week.

Natalie Franke
And as business owners, it’s so easy for us to feel like we have to put that facade up all the time and make it look like you know, everything’s perfect from the outside. But yet, behind the scenes is where we really need community that we can show up to in that vulnerable state of saying like, Hey, this is something I’m struggling with, or I’m going through. And honestly, I just need either someone to listen or some advice, and it’s in that type of Safe Space safe environment. I’m curious, I heard you say recently, you know that you need to find friends. You can have breakfast with specifically breakfast or coffee. Right. And you mentioned the mornings and you are again like the founder behind man morning, the newsletter, the community, the chapters that are now growing. What is it about the mornings for you? What is it about community that gathers at that point of time in the day that you found to be so impactful?

Antonio Neves
Yeah, so these guys that I would meet with, there’s like six or seven of us and we’d meet every week again in the morning. And we ended up calling it man morning, because we were all dudes that we got together in the morning. And Natalie, there’s something special about meeting a group of friends at 7am or 8am. First, think about your friends right now, how many of your friends do you have that will meet you for breakfast or a cup of coffee at seven or 8am? A lot of people don’t have those folks in their life. But there’s something powerful about meeting at that time for coffee or breakfast. You know, I have nothing against meeting at 6pm or 7pm for for cocktails or beverages. But the truth of the matter is this. The conversations that you have over coffee or tea or breakfast in the morning, those conversations are very different than the conversations you have after work in the evening over cocktails or beer. I’m not judging that cocktail or beer conversation. Those are cool, you can have a great time. But the intention of starting your day with the sun, it is so empowering. Like you know, we obviously we know a workout can can boost endorphins. And those things get the day going extremely well guess what? Those types of conversations can do the exact same thing. And it actually even changes something the night before, like whatever your plans are like, Oh, I’m going to bed early tonight. Oh, I’m not going to have a drink tonight because I’m meeting my friends. Those morning conversations can change absolutely everything.

Natalie Franke
I love that I and I’m someone that we were just chatting about this. I’ve got two little kids, two toddlers. So staying a bit like after 8pm staying up past that point. Hasn’t happened in a long time in this house, which is so embarrassing to say but I’m more of a morning person now that my kids are waking me up at 5am Like clockwork anyway. So, you know, I can definitely attest to that. And to the power of those conversations early especially with friends that are in that season of life running a business raising kids, they’re up at the same time. Like there’s power in surrounding yourself with folks that are willing to walk through life with you and I love that you found that circle and those people

Antonio Neves
and you bring up an interesting point like once you get married you have kids you have other responsibilities as the day goes on. The odds of certain things happening decrease like if I don’t get my workout in in the morning do you think it’s gonna happen after 5pm You know, if you don’t really connect with your spouse early like post dinner with the kids these conversations that are happening we’re know we’re exhausted. So I find the only way to do certain things that I care about most times is to do them in the morning. And do I like getting up early to work out before the kids wake up? No, I really dislike it. But if I don’t do it, odds are it’s not going to happen as the day progresses.

Natalie Franke
Yeah, I like the walking aspect to that you’ve thrown that in there. It’s something like my husband and I walk a lot, we try to get 10 to 12,000 steps a day. And that’s a newer thing that we’ve started doing. But just the power in movement, to open your mind to have conversation, I use that technique a lot when as a manager in a leadership capacity. When there’s something stressful happening, you know, whether it’s, you know, at my job, or with a teammate, or going through a launch, I always say walk and talk, let’s walk and talk, let’s, let’s get outside of our current space, or enclosed environment. Let’s get into the outdoors, let’s open our minds and start to move. Or just shifting that around, which is so cool, too. And, and I find that so interesting. One thing I want to zero in on here that really struck me, I was listening to an interview that you did. And you said two of the most dangerous words that you can hear somebody say, when you ask them how they’re doing. Do you Do you know what I’m talking about? I

Antonio Neves
know exactly what you’re talking about. Can I tell you what those two words are? Yeah. So

Natalie Franke
if you ask somebody, how are you doing? And they respond,

Antonio Neves
I’m fine. I’m fine. Those are two of the most dangerous words you can hear. Because most times behind I’m fine. Is stress is fear, our challenges, our problems, all these things that we don’t know about as men, dude, we’re really good at saying I’m fine. Now, especially and I coach, so many of these men and women who say they are fine. These are leaders, these are CEOs, these are executives with a lot of responsibilities. And the truth is this the reason why people say I’m fine, it’s not necessarily because they don’t necessarily want help or need help. It’s because these are many high performers, that they’ve checked off many of the boxes in life that you’re supposed to check off to be successful. You get your education, you have a good income, you have a good career, maybe you’re married, maybe you have kids, maybe you have that whole Everyone dreams about they’ve accomplished that American dream, and beyond. And then they feel this guilt, this guilt of who am I to complain, there is so much going on. In this world, there are so many challenges. So many people will have a worse than me. So they feel this guilt, but really opening up and sharing what’s really going on in their lives. So that’s why I always say make sure you check in on your friends. And if someone says I’m fine, use that level three global listening and just say, I hear you say you’re fine. But based on the tone of your voice and your energy. When I say it, I’m actually hearing something else. What’s really going on. So you have to follow up on that question. You just can’t accept it right then in there. Again, these people feel guilty. And when it comes to like, you know, this isolation epidemic and this this loneliness epidemic is leading to real mental health challenges is leading to physical health challenges. And we can talk about even suicide, what breaks my heart is that 80% of suicides are committed by men. And I wonder, I know every situation is unique now that but I wonder how many of these men for a long time told people that I’m fine, I’m okay, I’m doing all right, check in on your friends, people need more support than you think they do. And right now, right now, the listeners don’t want you to think about somebody in your life that has told you they’re doing fine. And when you stop listening to this, pick up the phone and give them a call.

Natalie Franke
That is such incredible advice. And especially as business owners, like we’ve talked about in these roles of leadership with all of the responsibility on your shoulders, you feel like you have to answer I’m fine. And so something that I’ve done is, you know, I’ll always tell friends, especially if we’ve had this conversation, we’re hanging out in a group and they say, oh, yeah, I’m fine. And when we leave that group, when I have the one on one time, I always remind them, you know, it’s okay, if you’re not fine with me. Like, when you talk to me, it’s okay, if you’re not fine. I’m a space where I’m here, whatever you need to extend that opening. And even as you talked about people coming forward and being vulnerable, you can always be the first one, if you really send somebody struggling and maybe just doesn’t feel safe to share it. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to be vulnerable, right? And I know you’ve you’ve shared that be willing to kind of step forward and be vulnerable and share something that maybe you’re walking through that’s difficult that you’re struggling with

Antonio Neves
you bring up a really important point. And what I’ve learned in my life, this this is in personal relationships, business relationships, and that is that revealing can actually create intimacy, the more we’re willing to share them, the more it can open up with others as well. But we have to be willing to be vulnerable, like vulnerability isn’t an option. If you want deep connection. In something else, we must know especially if you’re a leader, if you’re the head of a department, if you’re the head of an organization, sometimes you’re not necessarily going to be able to get that support from the folks that report to you and beyond. But that’s why it’s important to join organizations whether it’s a man morning or other organizations that support support IT leaders or coaching groups, etc. So you can talk to peers, you can talk to colleagues who are experiencing similar things with my man morning group, sometimes Natalie, I’ll go through an hour like I did today. And I barely spoke during the whole hour this morning, but I got so much out of it, because I was reminded that I’m not the only one experiencing what I’m experiencing. And other people are experiencing this as well. And these community, there’s people that support you, here’s the deal. They don’t have to be your best friends, right? These are the people you kick it with every single day you connect with every single day. But they can be part of that community where there is trust, where there is confidentiality, because let’s be clear, not everyone deserves to hear your story that everyone deserves to hear your story. But go to those places where these people exist and be willing to share and 100% will be reciprocated.

Natalie Franke
Never underestimate the impact of one powerful conversation on the trajectory of your entire life. And that is all it takes that one conversation in a space like you’re describing, to transform everything in life. And in business. I want to pivot a little bit from this struggle that we experienced with loneliness to this opportunity that each of us has to do exactly what you’re saying lean into community get kind of moving and take action in finding a space where you can lean in. Part of what I loved most about your book, stop living on autopilot, was the fact that you encourage people to take personal accountability. And I’m going to share just one quote that I really love from you, that says a new job, new zip code or more money can’t save you. Only you can. It’s an inside job.

Antonio Neves
Oh, that that right, there is some heat, some heat that I wrote, by the way, here’s the here’s the Polish version of the book, as well. A lot of times we think if we move across country, if we move to Bali, if we get a brand new job, if we leave that relationship and get a brand new relationship, everything miraculously is going to get better. But guess what, if you move to Bali, you get a new relationship, you get a brand new job, guess who’s still there you are, you’re still there, I want to just remind all of us and you know, my book, as you know, is definitely filled with, I’ll call it some tough love. But love is critical. I’m a firm believer that I love giving folks pat on the back. So everything’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be all right. And people deserve to hear the truth, as well. And I want to remind people right now, and by the way, everything in the book, I was reminding myself, you know, first and foremost, this isn’t just me speaking from some mountaintop telling folks to do X, Y, and Z like, No, this is for me as well. You know, people care about us, Natalie. And no one can care more about our lives than we do. I have to remind myself each and every single day that no one owes me anything. But we owe ourselves absolutely everything. And we talked so much in society about this word commitment, like you got to commit you got to commit commitment is not a one time thing. When it comes to your marriage. When it comes to your work. When it comes to parenting. When it comes to committing to that community, you have to recommit every single day, to what’s most important. And that’s me being willing to do the work as well. I also posted something recently that hit a lot of people in the face in a good way. And it was something to the tune of a standing ovation, won’t heal your pain. I say that because I speak in organizations about workplace engagement and team building, and, you know, productivity, etc, you know, 40 to 50 times a year. And I get so many people that come to me that want to be speakers and Tonio. I see you speaking on these stages in front of 5000 people and hundreds of people, how can I be a speaker? And then I’ll dig in. And I’ll ask them some questions about their interest in speaking and what they want to share and why they want to do that. And I can tell what they’re really seeking Natalie, they’re seeking validation. They’re seeking a round of applause. They’re they’re seeking people pointing at them. It’s kind of like 20, think about Twitter or social media. And that blue checkmark that people get, and after I remind myself is a guy that works in TV, who saw that validation who wanted to be picked, so I felt loved that I felt a value. That validation starts from within now, and no blue checkmark on social media can verify you, you were verified the day that you were born, there is work to be done and we have to commit to doing that. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who make you better. People who are going to push you and hold you accountable friends, you know, some people will tell you, your friend, someone will say something to the tune of like, oh yeah, I know I missed that opportunity. I didn’t do it, but it’s never too late. You need that friend that leans in and says you know it’s never too late. But the longer you wait the harder it’s going to get. Today’s the day, lean forward, take action commit, and then recommit tomorrow as well. If I keep going, I’m gonna start preaching. So we better we better be careful over here.

Natalie Franke
I didn’t want to say anything, I just want to let you keep rolling, I am soaking this up. And I cannot wait to re listen to this entire episode on repeat anytime I just need a little nudge and a little push. And I love you said no one owes you anything, but you owe yourself everything. And I think that that is something that you know, I see a lot I know you work a lot like in building community for men. And in my space, I work with all folks, especially though when I’m sitting down with women, I find that we are often and this this transcends I mean, it’s like all of us deal with this. But we are often the ones who are running around trying to take care of everybody else. And a business owners. That’s literally what we do joy and service. We’re serving clients, we’re serving customers, we’re racing around trying to help everybody else. And it can be so easy to forget that we owe it to ourselves, right to take care of us first that we can’t, you know, create that extraordinary company or lead that dynamic team, if we’re not first nurturing the source of that leadership. And I’d love to hear from you, you know, what are some of the things that you do to take care of yourself to guard you know, that to guard your heart to guard and protect that energy source that creativity within you with all of the work that you’re doing the travel that you’re doing speaking on stages in front of 1000s and 1000s of people, it takes a lot out of you? What is it for you that keeps you grounded that protects that for you?

Antonio Neves
Yeah, there are a variety of things. But first, I just, you know, for that person listening, and I’m talking to myself as well. But that’s one where have you considered loving yourself the way that you love others? Have you considered servicing yourself the way that you service others? Right? What what keeps me grounded is I can I can tell you, you know, I’m the author of this book, that’s been a stop living autopilot that’s been translated into multiple languages, I can tell you that I speak on 50 Plus stages a year to 1000s of people I can tell you about my mokotjo amazing coaching clients, I can tell you about all my background, all the stuff that shows up on Google. Let me tell you right now the things that that keep me refreshed, that keep me grounded are all those things that would never show up in the Google search. All those things that would never show up on my LinkedIn profile. You make folks and call me bestselling author, podcast host coach excetera speaker, you know what I call myself I call myself GGS husband. I call myself August and Harper’s dad, when I need to recommit to something when I need to stay grounded, I need to think of those big rocks right there. That is the core of that is the essence of my being years ago, years ago, Natalie, I was dating a woman when I was living in New York City working in the television industry. And I was out a lot in the public profile, hosting events, going to galleries and all of that. And I’ll never forget, we went meet this girl went to a gala together, amazing woman. And we came back that night to her apartment. And while she was getting undressed in the mirror, she said something to the tune of. And she said it lovingly, she said, You know, sometimes I wish that you could give me the same amount of attention and energy that you give to strangers. And that hit me so hard. Because as business owners as service providers, we give so much to everyone else. But sometimes it’s amazing how we can sometimes give our least our worst to the people that matter most in our life, our spouses, our significant others, our partners, our kids, our family, and our friends. So I travel a lot. I’m on a plane. So sometimes, when I’m coming home from a long trip and I’m tired and I’m exhausted, I will have to park two blocks away from my home after getting back from LAX. Not to amp myself up now to tell myself Tony, don’t you go in that house tired? Don’t you go in there saying how exhausted you are? Don’t you go in there looking for what’s wrong if the rooms a little bit messy if the dishes aren’t in the sink? No, you go in there and you bring joy you bring light? In a powerful question we can always ask ourselves is what shows up when you show up? Do things get better? Or do they get worse? You know, I don’t know about you. But I want to be a builder. I want to be a destroyer. And I can’t say I’ve always been that dude that light things up when he comes home from business trips that that I have to make a conscious choice every single day to recommit to being the best version of myself. So that means working out. I don’t want to get up at 430 this morning to work out but I know I’m a better husband and I’m a better father. I’m a better professional when I sweat and I get that crazy out of my head. That means cutting off at a certain point at the end of the day and in this remote work environment. As you know it is so easy just to work all day. You may not be at a desk, but we can continually be doing this working. Even though we’re at the dinner table. I have to have an off time for that. I have to make sure I’m eating full food that really really fuels me and As we’re talking about today, surrounding myself with people who make me better, surrounding myself with people get this, who are clapping when I win? Those people that are excited to see you win, think about the people in your life. Are they clapping when you win? Do you have any business owners, they think they have friends, but they’re actually competitors who aren’t necessarily rooting for them. You need these people in your life because they’re going to fuel you through this ebbs and flows of things going good, bad economies, losing clients, challenges and marriages, you got your problems, as you know, so much going on. We need those folks in our life. Yes,

Natalie Franke
we talk a lot in you know, the work I’ve done with rising tide and with our leaders, I always say, you know, when it comes from Seth Godin is quote, like, you know, be the leader you wish you had when you started, but it’s like, be the friend that you wish you had in business, when you were building that business, the type of friend that put competition aside, and truly rooted for you truly cheered for you. And then when things didn’t go, well, they were the first one to bend down and help pick you up. Right, they were the first one to be there for you to support you. Because I you know, I’ve seen that even in my own careers. It’s, it’s easy for people to come alongside you and you’re winning seasons, but also, yes, we want to see them clapping for us, when we win, watch for who is still there, and you’re losing seasons, watch for who is still there, right on the grind up when you’re building the business. And people doubt you and they’re saying, you know, oh, I can’t believe you know, he quit his job to go do this thing, or I can’t believe she’s doing XYZ, the critics are always going to be there. But watch for the people that step in and say, No, you don’t get it, they’re going to be successful, you don’t get it, I see what he’s doing. And they stand up for you in those seasons. Because those are the types of relationships you deserve. Like your, you deserve, you deserve. And the moment that we start thinking to ourselves, Tony, like, I deserve a friend who’s going to fight for me as hard as I fight for everybody else. I deserve a partner who is going to be there, you know, when when things get rough. And for each of us in these different moments, like I can say to you, my my husband, my partner, I mean, he is I, I say this to Him all the time I say I’m married way up, I’m married way up, and he’ll joke and be like, no, no, I’m married way up. Be with somebody you know, in your life, whether that’s a friend or a partner, a business partner, find the folks in your life that look, you know, at each opportunity in their relationship with you, it through that lens through that lens of like, you know, it’s not about even meeting 5050 It’s like they want to show up 9010 Right, and they know you’re gonna show up for them. 9010 on those days, especially when you need it. Partnership, friendship, relationships, in life and in business are everything

Antonio Neves
are absolutely everything. And one thing we don’t talk about, and this was one of the most popular man morning issues of the newsletter ever, we talked about how we forget that friendships require effort. Yes, we forget that friendships and community sometimes required doing the end convenient thing. Sometimes that means with my men’s group, after driving an hour, I’m gonna lay some I’m gonna have to drive an hour. And I’m complaining, I’m in LA traffic and all this kind of stuff. But guess what, once I show up, and I’m talking to the guys, I forgot about that hour, when your buddy invite you to help them with a home improvement project early on a Saturday morning. It’s like the last thing you want to do. But when you get there, and you’re helping them hang some cabinets in his garage, and he opens up by something challenging he’s going through. We are so glad we’re there in a day and age where things like rock car, you know, ride sharing services, like Uber and Lyft are so ubiquitous and your friend reaches out and says, Hey, can you pick me up from the airport and you’re like, Yo, just get a get a lift? Once that person gets in the car and you pick them up at the airport, even though it was inconvenient and you to start laughing immediately. You’re picking up where you left off. You’re like, Oh, I’m so glad I did this. Be willing to put in the effort. Even if it’s inconvenient. I say great friendships are built on inconvenience.

Natalie Franke
I love that. Oh, I love that I’m on fight. You’d literally have me all fired up Toady. I’m like, Yes. Yes. And yes. And mic drop and Mic drop. I agree. 110%. And this is a podcast, all about the science of self made success. And truly, you know, I think I think we’re hitting on something that we often dismiss as if it’s not an, you know, unnecessary element will say, oh, all you know, go hang out with my friends another time. I’m too busy. Oh, I know, I feel lonely. But like I can deal with it. It’s not crucial. It’s not, you know, something I need to address right now. But what I’m hearing from you and what I also know to be true is that that’s just not the case. Like we have to address these aspects of our lives on a daily basis. We have to be leaning in and making that effort that you’re talking about, with friends, friends that you know, you know, could be in multiple different intersections of our lives. And in regards to independent business owners. This also includes other business owners, right finding folks that are doing something similar, that can understand the pressures you’re facing. I understand the responsibilities you’re carrying, and can come alongside you and support you in your journey. And so I’m curious for you, like, you know, have you had any mentors in particular folks you’ve looked up to in your industry folks who’ve really inspired you in this way who’ve, you know, been alongside you on your journey that, you know, you consider now maybe to be a friend?

Antonio Neves
Oh, absolutely. I have so many mentors, you know, I have so many that I can name you know, folks names that you would recognize of authors and different coaches across the industry, fellow business owners that you would never know their name, but they’re killing it. And they’re doing extremely well, folks that I’ve 100% been in my corner, I know, I can call them they know, they can call me, they seem to always call at the right time, or send that text when I need it, or give me that push. And something else. That’s important, even though I have those mentors, and a lot of people will say, That’s great for you, Natalie, that’s great for you, Tony, I don’t have those people in my life. Well, if you don’t have those people in your life, there’s a couple of things you can do one, I always feel like mentors are the people that I listened to. So if you listen to this podcast right now you have two mentors in me. And Natalie is the books that I listen to those are net, those are mentors, as well. And I want to say something to every business owner right now, because we have every excuse as we’re looking at our balance sheets not to spend money, right, right? Oh, I can’t make that investment. I can’t do this. Sometimes you have to write a check. Sometimes you have to write a check to work with a coach. Sometimes you have to write a check to join a mastermind. Sometimes you have to write a check to join a community that monthly subscription that you pay to show up every single month for something that check that right there is an investment in you being a better everything a better business owner, a better spouse, a better friend, a better a better parent, you name it, when you interact with these people. And yes, sometimes you have to write a check that rubs off on you provides like an amazing kind of friction for you’re going to get insight and it’s going to provide certain types of of leaps, in growth for you that you wouldn’t have. I paid to join a variety of communities that join virtually. And it makes me think back when I was in grad school at Columbia University. I remember working on my master’s thesis now this amazing Pulitzer Prize winning author as my master’s advisor, and I was freaked out because I had like this amazing talent as my advisor. And he saw that I was hesitant to regularly turn in drafts of my thesis. And he challenged me on is like, Yo, why are you always late? Why are you Why aren’t you? Why aren’t you turning this in on time? I said, because when I turn it in, I know what’s going to come back filled up with red ink, and it’d be so much work to do. And he laughed, and he said something to the tune of Don’t you know, you pay for the red ink. That’s where the magic is. So that red ink, I’m talking about sometimes writing that check to get that encouragement to get that support to get that inspiration to get that accountability, we need that red ink, we need that good friction in our lives. So many of us, you know, I firmly believe that we are all like, you know, amazing beings living in Zig Ziglar used to call these billion dollar bodies, right? But it’s kind of like, just imagine, imagine even if you’re not a fan of like say Lamborghinis, you know an amazing Italian sports car. But imagine if you owned a Lamborghini, Lamborghini amazing generic cars and over 200 miles an hour. Now imagine if you owned that, and you only drove it at 35 miles per hour. That’s not what a Lamborghini is built for. And so many of us are living these 35 mile per hour lives. You have so many different gears you can shift to in your life and in your business, especially if you’re willing to surround yourself with the right individuals. It can make all the difference in the world. Oh, if the power

Natalie Franke
of the people in your life. I love that in closing this up. And I don’t want to I could keep going for hours. I really could. I just looked at the time. I was like, wow, we Wow. Okay, yeah, we will be good. I want to ask a final question. And this is a question I asked all of our guests at the end of our episodes. And because this is a podcast about the science of self made success. I’m curious to know, Tony, what do you think differentiates the businesses that succeed from the ones that fail?

Antonio Neves
Difference between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail? I will say is that goes back to what I said earlier, those folks that are truly committed, it’s easy to get an LLC, right. It’s how easy it is to go to one of these websites and start an LLC or a corporation. It’s easy to spend time creating a logo it’s easy to to spread the word to the communities Guess what I just started XYZ company these are our service offerings etc. But what do you do when all that goes away? When those when that LLC paper is a little bit dusty and that their corporation papers a little bit dusty and people are wondering what’s going on? It’s those folks that are willing to commit and recommit every single day to those things that are most important. I find that people that when one thing they are, is consistent, and they may have some big goal, they reach a certain amount of revenue. But I find that the people individually and the companies that are successful, whereas they may have this big goal, this big vision they’re tackling, what they do is they make sure on a daily basis, they’re doing those key activities every single day that will lead to that those lead measures so many people focus on the end goal that quote unquote, lag measure, but I find that the people who are successful are the ones that are willing to do those small things every single day, when no one is watching. It’s great to be on stages is great to be interviewed on podcasts. It’s great to be quoted in interviews. But that is such a small part of the work that we do what you do on an average Tuesday, when no one is paying attention. When you’re not on stage, when you’re when you’re not being profiled, that’s going to determine your success, or failure. Are you willing to do the work when no one is watching? It’s so cool to watch the Olympics, and watch that man or woman win the 100 meter dash in front of a stadium full of people. People forget about the four years leading up to that when no one was in the stands. No one was in the audience. No one was clapping for them. But they still had to show up every single day. What are those people have in common? They committed their recommitted every single day. And they did not do it alone. No one. No one who has accomplished anything of significance did it alone, and neither should you.

Natalie Franke
And with that, Antonio navs, thank you so much. Thank you.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.

Episode 12 Transcript: Embrace the inevitability of change and turn fear into fuel

Natalie Franke
When I first started my wedding photography business, I had to print out knock quest directions to every single event that I photographed. At the time, I didn’t have enough money to buy a GPS, which was a luxury. But I was able to print out these directions and turn by turn hope that I wouldn’t miss an intersection along the way. Back then I never could have imagined that today, we would have not just access to a GPS, but one on a phone that I carried with me all the time, everywhere that I went, that would even reroute itself when traffic occurred, or could tell me if there was a speed trap up ahead on a highway. Why am I telling you this story, because in business, we don’t know what the future holds. And uncertainty can at times feel overwhelming, it can bring about a lot of fear. But what I’ve come to understand in my decade and a half as an independent business owner is that change is inevitable. We may not know what that change will look like or what the future will hold. But I can promise you that it won’t look the way that it looks today. In this interview, I have the opportunity to sit down with Jason Feifer, the editor in chief of entrepreneur, magazine, keynote speaker, podcast host and author to talk all about our fear of change, and how as business owners, we can turn that fear into fuel and forward progress. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Franke, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.

Natalie Franke
Jason, thank you so much for joining me.

Jason Feifer
Thank you for having me.

Natalie Franke
I want to dive right in to talk about change. Now, in your career. What has changed that has ultimately led you to becoming the editor in chief of Entrepreneur Magazine? Are you always you know, gunning for that type of job? What interested you in entrepreneurship, tell me about the leaps and bounds that you’ve gone across in your career to arrive at the place you are now.

Jason Feifer
When I interviewed Malcolm Gladwell A while ago, I asked him this sounds like I’m not answering your question, but I promise if I asked him what makes a Malcolm Gladwell project because you know, Malcolm Gladwell best selling author, podcaster, etc. And everything he does has this distinctive Malcolm Gladwell Enos to it, and I wondered what is his filter to identify those projects? And his answer to me really stuck with me, which was, uh, he said that to the best of his ability, he never tries to define himself or his projects. Because he said, self conceptions are powerfully limiting. And that is the language that I wrote down on a piece of paper and stuck it on my wall self conceptions are powerfully limiting, which is to say that if you have a specific idea, a too narrow idea of who you are, and the kind of work that you do, you will limit yourself to that very narrow definition and therefore turned down all sorts of other opportunities along the way. And I also really love that I love that, first of all, because it was great advice, but then also because it described it put words to the thing that I had been doing. So to answer your question, How did I become editor in chief of Entrepreneur Magazine? The answer is that I was open to constantly revising what my goals were. And really even my understanding of the work that I did, I came to the phrasing that I used for a long time was that I want to have a plan, and then have a plan to abandon the plan. Because I think that having a plan or having a goal is useful in that it gives you a direction to move in, you have to go somewhere. So if you’re lost in the woods, it is not useful to wander in a circle, you will never get out of the woods. So you have to pick some direction, and then go but that doesn’t mean that it’s the right direction. And some other information may reveal itself along the way that’s going to help steer you towards actually how to get out of the woods. And that is more or less what I’ve been doing in my career, which is I started with an idea. That idea in the very very beginning. graduated college took my first job at a newspaper. The very first idea was either I want to be a reporter at the at like a New York Times or some large paper or I want to be some kind of columnist, maybe a political columnist, I didn’t know. And then as I did more as I gathered more Information, I would start to revise that, oh, I’m actually pretty good at this, oh, this is actually pretty fun. I’ll be honest with you the idea of entrepreneurship, and even working with people in business, that was a late revelation. And it really only clicked for me, after I got to entrepreneur, which originally I saw is just another media job. And then once I started to realize that entrepreneurship wasn’t just about business, but it was about thinking, and that’s really where I live, I’m not, I can’t tell you the best way to price a product, I can’t. But I can tell you how smart people think. And that’s always been the thing that’s really driven me is understanding how people think and how to apply that kind of thinking to your own work. And so once I realized that that was also a part of this world of entrepreneurship, I realized I can live in, and I own that space, and provide value in ways that I had never done before in my traditional quote, unquote, media jobs. And that became very exciting. And that was the latest step in a lot of evolution.

Natalie Franke
I love that I agree. 100%, around mindset and the power of how we think not just about ourselves, but we begin to think about our role in the world. And it sounds very much like throughout your own journey, you were open to change, you were open to the possibility of new things coming your way and your trajectory evolving as you evolved as you became more aware of your own skill sets and what existed for you. And as you said, you know, moving into entrepreneur, like just uncovering the possibilities and leaning in when you have those opportunities. One thing, though, that I see a lot within our community and I can personally attest like I’ve experienced it myself is that fear of change, that fear of the unknown, and actually just turned it out for a second in a recent newsletter that you shared one thing better is your newsletter highly recommend to anyone listening, you say it’s so good.

Jason Feifer
You can find what Mises will tell people how to find it, which is yeah, if you just plug one thing better dot email into your browser, one thing better dot email, you will get it.

Natalie Franke
It’s it’s a fantastic newsletter, super digestible, super impactful. And you said in a recent email to your audience, he said, Today, I will give you a simple truth. You cannot make the fear go away, but you don’t need to. And you also say fear doesn’t have to hold you back. You just have to fear the right thing. Let’s dig into that, you know, there is so much fear around the unknown around change, especially as a business owner, and yet the ability to lean in to that possibility of change is also something that propels you into success. Yeah. How would you recommend you know, an independent business owner think about the unknown, think about change as they’re facing things like AI and economic headwinds, and all of sort of the confronting realities that we’re navigating right now?

Jason Feifer
Yeah. So love that question. Let me actually back up and then answer it. First, I just want to show you how methods of thinking can port like import from one place to another because I find that to be an incredibly useful way to pattern match and to gain insights into new spaces. So when I wrote that the fear doesn’t go away. Honestly, what I was channeling was this insight from a friend of mine in a completely different space, which was I was friend Katherine Morgan Schaeffler, she wrote this book called The perfectionist guide to losing control. And it’s really aimed at women who struggle with this, this idea that they’re perfectionist, and they’ve been told that that’s a bad thing. And she wants to help women reframe that as a superpower. Yeah, think

Natalie Franke
about that, by the way.

Jason Feifer
Production is losing control is great book. And I have heard her say over and over again, that it is purposeless to just tell yourself, Oh, stop that, like stop thinking that way stop being like that, because it’s not a useful way to think because you can’t do that. You can’t stop on a dime a thing that is just a part of you or the way that you think. So if you so you spend a lot, you can either spend a lot of time trying to stop it not succeeding, and then feeling like you’re a failure because of that. Or you could take as the starting point that this is not a changeable thing. And if it’s not a changeable thing, then the next question, how does it has to be? Well, then how do I use it? How do I make it purposeful? And hearing her say that got me thinking about all the other ways in which that exact framing can be applied? So when I think about fear, I also think is not reasonable to tell people Oh, just stop fearing that because they won’t, and they can’t. So it’s not a useful way to think instead, why don’t we start with there is the fear and that’s not going to go away. So how do we make it useful? Now I tell the story in the newsletter, which I’ll just repeat briefly here, which is that the very last social event that I went to before COVID, shut everything down was my friend’s birthday party at a crowded restaurant. And I was sitting next to Megan Atia who runs founder made, which is this trade show event series thing. And I’ve spoken at her event many times. And so you know, she’s a live events, business, and live events at that point were shutting down, we didn’t know it was gonna happen. And so I’m sitting next to her. I’m saying, Megan, what are you going to do, because these live events are shutting down. And she said, I actually am really excited about this, because we have had all these ideas for new lines of business. And we have never been able to explore them because the Live Events absorb all of our resources and energy. So now if they’re going to go on pause, we have time to explore all these other things. And at the time, I thought, this is a fearless person. But later I realized, no, that’s not what’s happening. Megan, like, everybody very reasonably was afraid of what was going to come next. But she was using fear to propel her forwards, she was using fear to think what am I missing? What is the solution that is going to be available to me that I need to find. And if I don’t work hard, I won’t find versus what could have happened, which is using that fear, to just say, Oh, my God, I can’t lose this thing that came before. And therefore I need to look backwards and try to clean as tight as possible. So in everything, if you feel like, there’s just something that’s a part of you, and fear is a very natural thing. We need to accept that it’s there, and then start to think about how can it be useful.

Natalie Franke
And so much of fear is just hardwired in you’re 100% Correct. It’s, there’s a purpose for it. I mean, a lot of our fear is meant to keep us alive. And whether or not it’s rooted in the right thing in our modern world is, you know, to be determined, but 100% to say to someone, just don’t be afraid doesn’t work, turning that into something that feels you turning it into kind of a force for good in your life or in your business. I love that advice. I talk a lot about competition through that lens where, you know, we we have a big monster here community over competition, and it’s not to say that you’re not going to compete, you will, you’ll compete fiercely. But it is to say that you want to ensure that the type of competition you’re operating with is one in which, you know, it pushes you forward and others forward, it raises the tide rather than destroys from within. And it’s the exact same thing. It’s like, okay, competition can be a force for good if it spurs innovation pushes us forward, right kind of gives us that tiny dose of fear that there’s somebody nipping at our heels. So we show up as our best selves, we do the best work that we can, versus becoming obsessed with the competition, right, paying more attention to what competitors are doing, than to the actual clients or customers that are in front of us. And I really love the power of that mindset shift. Is that something that, you know, you see, kind of being really critical in this moment, in particular, my brain just go straight to the AI changes. And, you know, I’ve talked a little bit about them with our community. And there’s a mixed bag of emotion, there’s a lot of excitement around the power of AI to reduce some of these mundane tasks that a lot of these independents are doing. Because again, we wear all the hats, right? Like you are the solopreneur you’re doing it all you are everything from sales, to marketing, to customer support, you manage everything. So this excitement around that possibility. But there’s also so much fear, is this going to take our jobs? Is this going to, you know, change the way that we do business? I’m curious, like, you know, how can we apply some of that that mindset to the day to day? Or how are you applying that to your thought leadership in these spaces, like as you share, you know, out to entrepreneurs, is there something we can take away from that with the current landscape that we’re looking at?

Jason Feifer
Sure. Oh, well, I wanted to stop you 20 times as you were asking that question, because I have like different answers for every little part of it. But let me go with this. Okay, let’s talk about AI. And as a way to think about AI and then also just as a way to think about change. I was speaking I was speaking and I was speaking at a gathering of attorneys are going attorney retreat for mid size. I don’t know how to evaluate Law Firm for a law firm for bigger a bigger law firm. They had hired me, they hired me, I flew out to San Francisco, I’m at this nice fancy hotel, and I’m addressing with 300, lawyer lawyers or something. And after my talk, which is about how to find opportunity in times of change, the questions come and they are all asking about AI and Chachi pt. And afterwards, I was talking to the CEO. And I said you know it was so interesting that all of your attorneys are obsessed with GPT. What is that? And he said, I’ll tell you what they’re really concerned about then say it I’ll tell you what they’re really concerned about, that they’re really concerned about is that they are afraid that AI GPT are going to is going to make motion writing more efficient. And lawyers function Going on billable hours. So if their work becomes faster than they build less, and that’s what they’re worried about. To which I immediately said, that is so fantastic. Because you know, who likes billable hours? Nobody, nobody likes billable hours. Everybody hates billable hours. billable hours is a terrible, horrible system. Clients hate it. And lawyers hate it, right? I mean, it’s the way that they operate. So they had their, that’s their incentive structure, but like they hate it, too. Everybody hates it, it is a crappy system that we have, because nobody was incentivized to come up with anything better. But now, AI is going to break that, because it is going to make legal work more efficient. And law firms are no longer going to be able to function on billable hours. And now there is an incentive for somebody smart, perhaps the CEO of that law firm, to figure out a different way to operate. So if you zoom out, what have we actually seen here, what we’ve seen is that AI is going to break something that was already broken. And when it does that, we can finally come up with a solution. That makes sense. And once you start to think of it like that, you see that that’s actually what’s going to play out over and over again. So for example, I have friends who are college professors, and they are worried that their students are all using Chachi, pte to write their essays, and therefore they can’t evaluate whether or not those students are actually absorbing the material. But guess what? essays were always a terrible way to evaluate whether or not students had actually absorbed the information an awful way, and everybody hates it, the students hate it. And the professors hate it. Because it sucks to write an essay, just just for one person who’s only going to read it with the eye of like, Did you suck at this? And then professors don’t want to sit and read a million of these things. It’s terrible. But again, there’s never been an incentive to move away from it. So we’re gonna break something that’s already broken. Okay, so let’s take that now. First of all, what do we have we there was scary, that AI was going to change things, until you actually investigate what it’s changing. And you ask an important question, which is, is this actually worth changing? And the answer is, yes, it is. And then next, we have the opportunity to shape what comes next. Because AI isn’t a black hole, it doesn’t just absorb things, and then it disappears into foreverness. It there’s a future something happens next. So why don’t you be a part of making the next thing? That’s the opportunity? And that to me is exciting.

Natalie Franke
Talk about a mic drop moment? Yes, yes. And yes. 100%. And it’s part of the reason why I’m encouraging, you know, our community to lean in at this moment in time, even in spite of that fear that a lot of them have, you can’t influence the trajectory of something, if you’re not a part of it. If you’re not, you know, educated on it, and experimenting, and I say you don’t need to become an expert in AI. Just stay curious. Stay curious and stay open to the possibility in looking at the future, though, of Independent Business of small business of entrepreneurship. You know, what, what do you see on the horizon? Do you think it’s a good moment to start a business, we’ve seen, for example, these record setting numbers of new business applications in 2021. Also maintaining strength of new business applications in 2022, we’re seeing a shift in how people want to work. Gen Z is more entrepreneurial than any other generation, I could go on and on and on. does the future look bright? For entrepreneurship? If not, what are some of those broken structures like you want to see us change, you want to see communities like mine fight to change? I’m really, really curious to hear your perspective on this.

Jason Feifer
So I’ve been very excited to see those new business application spikes. Also very interesting to see that as you and I talk, right now, we’re in a economy that nobody can figure out where you have very large companies, laying lots of people off and declaring bankruptcy. But if you look down at the small business level, it’s actually very strong, strong growth, strong hiring, investment, optimism. So what is that? I mean, I think that what that is, is that you have a layer of entrepreneurs at the small business level, who are incredibly close to their customer, and understand what that customer needs at a very focused granular level, in a way in which large businesses sometimes drift away from them. And you know, what, why, why are big tech companies laying people off? And then oftentimes, it’s because what they were doing was spending money just on gobbling up talent with the thesis that that talent would produce something but they didn’t actually have in mind what their audience needed. They just figured they figured it out. later, which is fine until the economy shifts, and suddenly you’re just holding it back. So I feel pretty good to be honest about entrepreneurs. And I think there’s a reason why Gen Z is so entrepreneurial. And the answer is because they came up in a completely unsteady economy and a completely unsteady world. And the lesson, I think, that they took from that was that nobody will take care of them as well as they can themselves. And that breeds a kind of self reliance that I think is excellent. And so what’s gonna happen next, well, we already see him what people say all the time, it’s never been easier to start a small business. And that’s true, because we have these tools that are available to us in a way that decades ago, we’re not I mean, just think about all the things that people decades ago had to build from scratch every single time. And you don’t have to do that now. And that’s incredible. And that will only become I think, easier, as things like aI start to automate the most drudgery of small business. So I would say that for anybody who is in business now, or who’s thinking about getting into business, the thing that you should be thinking about is this, you may feel a lot of change in disruption in your own environment. But don’t forget that you are not the only one experiencing that everybody is experiencing change in disruption. And that means that they have new needs. And those needs may not be well fulfilled by the incumbents that they used to rely upon who are not as nimble as you are. And so now is actually a pretty amazing time to step back and say, what do people need now? Because they need solutions. And I am in the business of solutions.

Natalie Franke
We saw that resiliency in our community, in particular, during the pandemic, just you talked about the live event space, we have a ton of event professionals, wedding professionals, and as we know, the world shut that down. And that’s precisely what they did. Right? It was that moment of, you know, okay, what’s the need today? What is changing in the landscape? How can I show up and serve and looking at problems, not necessarily as problems but potentially as entrepreneurial opportunities? What would you say to a business owner who, you know, maybe has started this on the side over the past couple of months, they have this side hustle, or maybe it’s even evolved into something where it is full time, they’re looking at the potential of growth, they’re looking to go all in and to scale. But as we’ve talked about, with fear, we’ve talked about with the unknown and uncertainty. They’re in that mindset of like, I can’t leave, I am clinging to the cliff with everything that I have. And I refuse to trust that my bungee cord is going to get me right like and protect me if I leap off. Or even what do you say to yourself in those moments? Like, is there a mantra or an affirmation, inspirational story in history to look to give us a little bit of hope, give us a little bit of inspiration, obviously speaking for a friend here.

Jason Feifer
So here’s the thing, no time will ever feel like the perfect time. There’s no way that you wake up. And you look at your watch. And it says today, like today’s the day right? And then you just like feel it you don’t you don’t feel things the way that you wish that you would feel things. This is this reminds me of something that is a little unrelated. But I want to tell you this quick anecdote as a way of of framing it, which is I read this thing that Ryan Holliday wrote years ago, Reinhardt is his best selling author. And he wrote about what it was like to learn that he was a best selling like New York Times best seller for the first time. Like, what’s that? Like? What’s the experience like? And the experience was that he was mowing his lawn. And he got a call from his agent. And his agent was like good news. You know, you’re on the New York Times bestselling list. And Ryan, you know, surely thought like anybody does, like, that’s awesome. And then they talked for a minute or two, and then hung up the phone. And then Ryan like, looks around. And he’s like, Well, I’m, I’m still out here on the lawn. And I still, you’re still got the lawn mower. So I guess I’ll keep mowing the lawn, right, like a external event does not change you in the way that I think we often think that it will. Because oftentimes, from the outside, we see people who seem like they transformed. And we’re waiting for that inside of ourselves. And it doesn’t happen, because that’s just not how things work. Because your life is actually one of increments. So if you’re building something, it is a little bigger and a little better today than it was yesterday. And yes, sure. For somebody who may be new you at the very start of it, and then close their eyes and didn’t hear anything and then open their eyes and it was like five years later, now you have this thing. It looks like boom, oh my God, but that’s not how you experience it. So there’s never going to be a time where you look inside yourself and you’re like I have changed. And now I am the person who can do this big step. So what do you do? How do you actually get there? Look, I think that the answer is that we have to start to map it for ourselves, we have to have a sense of what it looks like an means to trigger the change. It might be worth you stepping back and looking. I mean, look at look, a lot of these things are emotional, but a lot of them are also financial. So it’s worth stepping back and saying, alright, what does it look like, for me to safely or comfortably or whatever it is that you need in your life, make the shift into whatever it is that I want to be doing next? Maybe that’s it, I turn a side hustle into a full time business and I leave my job. Is there a revenue marker? What do you need to be making? What kind of growth do you need to have so that you feel confident that this thing is on a trajectory where it’s growing? Well, and if you put more effort into it, it would continue to grow even stronger? There are way right like in Annie Duke, who wrote this great book quit about how quitting can be a decision making tool she calls a cause these kill criteria, where if you want to know whether you should quit something, then you set about, you know, six 912 months out, what does it look like, for this thing to be failing like, this is either this is happening at this time, or it’s not this level of growth or not. And that helps you make that decision about quitting. But you can do that on the flip side, too. And you can do that about growth, what’s the growth criteria, I’m going to make this decision if I’m bringing this amount in, do that. And then you will know whether something changed because you yourself inside of you will never feel like something changed.

Natalie Franke
That level of accountability as well, like the ability to have the forethought to say okay, when I hit these metrics, or when I see this particular thing happen, that is my indicator to make the leap, and I’m going to hold myself accountable or, you know, leaning into the power of your community, other people that do similar things to what you do, that’s where you have them help to hold you accountable to that I absolutely love that strategy, for kind of giving yourself that point in time when you know, you’re going to leave when you know, you’re gonna push past that fear or turn that fear into your fuel and move forward. I’d love to know you obviously read a lot. You’re a bookseller, a book nerd like me. Was there one book in particular, that was a game changer for you, or one book that you think every small business owner absolutely needs to read to put on their TBR besides your book, which we’re gonna talk about in a second, which obviously, is on the TBR. But beyond that, was there a book that for you, that was like, in particular, like, if I’m going to tell you one book, this is the book you need to be reading?

Jason Feifer
Hmm. So here’s, here’s the thing, I actually don’t read a lot of business books. And the reason I don’t do that is because, number one, I write so much that I don’t want to accidentally absorb and then steal someone else’s idea. Totally. So I don’t want to see what other people are doing, and then have it slip out as my own. I also when I consume things, I tend to really like to find things that show me that the boundaries are not where I thought they were. And so the the works of art, or of any kind of writing or like are the things that stick with me, or when I’ve read something, and or I watch something, and I and I say, Oh, I didn’t know you could do that. I didn’t know that you could tell a story that way. I didn’t know that you could write that way. I didn’t know that you could relate to an audience that way. It encourages me to then question my own boundaries. What if I did something a little different? And you can find that in fiction? The first book that I remember reading that did that, to me was A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, which is a memoir is just written in this incredible way. But for what it’s worth, I would say because you’re asking about like things that entrepreneurs could read. I do think that any any Dukes book quit was really, really smart. And also I injured Chen’s the cold start problem, which is about how to grow network effects. It was was just really insightful and helped me understand that concept. A lot better. And I don’t know, I’m sure I’ll come up with others later.

Natalie Franke
I those are all great. And I’m a big believer in fiction as well, I think sometimes, you know, I’ve there have been multiple books for the past year where I’ve leaned into them for escapism, and like, take me to a magical land where there are Fe and magical powers. And you know, like a warring political system, I want to just be immersed, and all of a sudden I’m reading it, I get into a point in time, you know, where I’m just reading a quote from a character and I step back and I go, whew, I needed that as a leader today. Like I needed to read that heading into this meeting with an employee and it’s has nothing to do with entrepreneurship has nothing to do with business. So I also love books that challenge and open our minds or even just take us to to a unique place. I love that you threw a fiction option out there before the business books, but I want to kind of pivot then into your book. So tell us a little bit about your book. Tell us about you know what we can expect when we dive into the pages and what the key takeaways are going to be,

Jason Feifer
yeah, so the book built for tomorrow comes out of this observation, which is that the most successful people are the most adaptable and that it’s not a skill that you’re born with. It’s a skill that you learn. And I wanted to know how people did it. And I was very interested in this before the pandemic, but the pandemic was the moment where you got to see everybody go through the same change at the same time, and then radically diverge. And so I spent the first 220 20 years when I wrote this book proposal, and then 21 is when I wrote this book. And what I really wanted to understand was through the combination of the stories of the most adaptable entrepreneurs that I’ve met six, famous and non famous stories from history, and then also psychology, to understand what it actually means to navigate change and to understand your relationship with change, and to start to see things that feel scary as not scary, which is a weird thing to do. But once you get there, it starts to reveal doors where other people see walls, which is, which is why when I was at that lawyer retreat, and I heard about AI, and in billable hours, my mind immediately went to but wait a second is billable hours a good thing, because most people will think we have to protect the thing. But the foundational question is actually is it a good thing, right? Like, if you build the reality of change into how you process the world and think about yourself, then suddenly, things that seem like they must be protected, are actually things that might want to be replaced with your good idea. And that’s an incredibly exciting shift.

Natalie Franke
I can’t wait to read it, we end every podcast episode with a single question. And I have a gut feeling. I may know which direction you’re gonna go with this. But I also have been surprised many times before. Okay, that question is what do you believe is the biggest differentiator between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail?

Jason Feifer
Hmm. Ryan Reynolds told me that to be good at something, you have to be willing to be bad. Because he’s gone from being an actor to being a very savvy business guy. And when I interviewed him for entrepreneur, we were talking about that transition. And he said that like to me to be good at something, you have to be willing to be bad. by which he means that we often think that when we try something new, the dividing line is whether or not we are good at early does this take naturally to us? Are we good at this thing. And we see other people who are good at it, and we are not. And that feels like maybe we’re doing it wrong. But what Ryan is saying is no, the dividing line is not that the dividing line is whether or not you are willing to tolerate being bad long enough to get too good. And I would say that, that is a pretty good explanation of why businesses succeed or fail as well, which is to say that, when you start out with a business idea, it is almost certainly not going to be the idea that actually wins the day or the one that scales. But it is at least the idea that just gets you out and gets you out talking to people engaging with people and discovering what they need, and how you can fulfill that and know the journeys that you’ll hear. And that I hear all the time. And then I’m sure you know, you hear all the time is, is not one of I set out to do a thing, and everyone loved it. And then I just made a bazillion dollars, instead of the journey is I set out to do a thing. And then I learned that that wasn’t quite right. But it was actually on to something else with this other thing. And then I started talking to these people, these people told me this thing, and that really got me thinking about that. Right. And like, that’s how it works. And so do a stat that I hate is the step in nine out of 10 businesses fail. Because even if that were true, and it’s not the failure part is too definitive. Because if someone sets out to start something, and it doesn’t work out, that does not mean that that person failed. Maybe that idea was a failure. But maybe they take the lesson from that idea, and they build it into the next thing, and that’s what’s successful. And you hear those stories all day long. That’s for example, Stewart Butterfield, who started this video game that he raised a lot of money for, but that just didn’t work. And so he decided to shut it down and return his investors dollars. And then he realized, hey, wait a second. We Build this internal chat function in the video game. And that was actually pretty useful. What if I just started a company that was just the internal chat function, and that became slack. That’s the story of slack. And that’s how it happens. It does not happen with an idea that succeeds. It happens with a person who goes out and learns. And that’s the difference.

Natalie Franke
And with those powerful words, thank you so much for joining me, I have no doubt our listeners are going to want to learn more about you find your book, where can they do that? Where can they you know, engage with you further.

Jason Feifer
Oh, thanks. So you can find the book wherever you find books available in audiobook ebook, hardcover, whatever, anything but stone tablet, and then I’d mentioned the newsletter, you’d mentioned the newsletter. Thank you. So again, once again, that’s one thing better you can find it at one thing better dot email. And, you know, reach out to me on social media. I’m very active on LinkedIn, and Instagram and website and whatever, get in touch.

Natalie Franke
Awesome. Jason, thank you so much. Thank you.

Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.