The mindset work that builds wealth with Jaime Gordon

Akua: Welcome back to our money talk series where we are having the conversations about money that actually matter. And you are going to love today’s episode. But before we hop in, I know so many of us as business owners, we are currently getting ready for tax season. We are in the thick of it. And so we are providing a free resource, our tax filing checklist.

And this checklist helps you get all of your documents ready and organized that you feel confident going into tax season. So head to our show notes to download that checklist and let’s get into the episode. Today’s episode on the unbreakable business podcast is one that you will be listening to on repeat Jamie Gordon, who is a life coach who helps business owners get unstuck to get the life that they want joins on the show to talk about money mindset, but we go.

Way beyond that. We talk about the deep work that is required for you to get the life and business that you want. Jamie shares so much wisdom and challenges us throughout the whole conversation. We talk about how we need to work through our money blocks, real questions. We need to be. Asking ourselves so we can get a better understanding of who we are and most importantly, having more compassion and grace for ourselves with our progress.

This conversation I feel is going to stretch you in such a good way that is needed so that you can receive more of what you want in your life and business. Welcome to Unbreakable Business, the podcast where we uncover the untold stories behind entrepreneurship. This isn’t about polished success stories.

It’s about the sleepless nights, unexpected roadblocks, and unshakable grit that builds businesses that last. Every week we sit down with entrepreneurs who faced it all, sharing raw, honest conversations about challenges, growth, and the moments that made them unbreakable. Whether you’re just starting out or chasing your next breakthrough.

This podcast is your reminder that you have the strength to keep going.

Hello, Jamie. Welcome to the unbreakable business podcast. How are we doing? I’m doing so good. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to have you here because we met what, like a little over a week ago, like for the. Like a minute ago. A minute ago. And you, we were both speaking at an event called Conquer Live, which is an amazing retreat, like mastermind for small business owners.

And it was so much fun. And you gave an amazing talk on money mindset and all about receiving. And I was like, all right, we, we got to stop playing games. You got to come here immediately, quickly. So. Thank you so much for coming by

Jaime: my absolute

Akua: pleasure. You know, so one thing I would really like to talk about, because especially in the talk at conquer live, like you really just talked about all about money and us just being in a place to receive it.

And I think this is something that a lot of us as business owners struggle with. Like we all want to make more money, right? We all want to, whatever your money goals are, right? Whether that’s six figures or not, or, you know, more than that. I mean, whatever it is, I think, um, When we have these goals, we’re like, yes, I’m going to achieve it.

But then like, we have all of these roadblocks, right? Of like, that can really hinder us from receiving wealth. And so the question I have for you is, what has your journey looked like with money and how has that evolved to where like you currently are helping business owners really address some of these, these blockers?

Jaime: Absolutely. So I started out my journey with a really kind of a scared money mindset. I grew up in a home where debt was perceived as bad. Uh, the, that the love of money was evil, uh, that people who were making, I remember actually being at like family gatherings and I had some cousins that had like, we’re making good money.

Their families were making good money and they would like come in with like their expensive purse or their. You know, make a mention that they would buy and then they would like proceed to say, well, I got it on sale or, well, there was a deal, right? Like discounting, like almost like it was yucky to touch wealth, uh, financial wealth.

And so money wasn’t just, yes, I wanted money, but there was another part of me that didn’t want money. And I was also just like, my identity had been one of like, I am a person who doesn’t make a lot of money. I, my husband always had his own business and I always was in a supportive role, whether I was working like part time doing stuff or working for his company.

And so like, while his company was generating good income, I didn’t think I’m somebody. Who makes a lot of money. So I remember when I was going through my, uh, coaches academy, this was 2018, the first certification that I did, and they made us get up in front of the classroom and say how much money you wanted to make that year.

And I threw tears, like actually standing in front of the class of people, my peers, and so embarrassed to say that my goal was 50, 000 because it felt so small and so enormous at the same time. And I was like, I was terrified at the thought of what it would require of me to do, and that it felt impossible.

And also, like, if I had that much money, like, what did that mean? And so it really took me, I didn’t do it that year, I made enough to pay myself back for the certification, which wasn’t cheap, but I didn’t make the 50, 000. And then I started to realize, like, okay, I need to change not my story with money, but my story with myself, um, which included money.

And as that began to shift, I started to double my income and then double my income and then double my income and double my income to the point where there was one point where I did a course launch because I wanted to expand my coaching outside of individuals, and I really wanted to be able to touch more people and.

In my lunch, I made over that 50, 000 mark and so there is, and I’m going to say it’s not just a one time journey like, you know, the journey isn’t always straight up, right? Especially in the, uh, entrepreneurial journey, you’re going to have, you’re going to have seasons where you. Based in famine, uh, and really when we get to that, that famine place, which I’ve had that like famine season, uh, my, in my business this last year, it really has brought me to a new understanding of where there’s more blocks and I don’t even like the word blocks.

I like to call it misunderstandings that are actually. They’re just waiting for me to untangle them from who I think I am. And, and from that, right, I start to take new, aligned, and authentic action. So, yeah, that’s, I help people not just with their money mindset. In fact, I laugh at myself that I’m in the position to even do a talk on money mindset because I still feel like I am the guide by the side.

I’m in the trenches. with everyone. And yet I’m also in a position of leadership and choosing to use my skill set to help people get unstuck, not just in money, but money is a core thing that if we’re stuck in money, we’re also stuck in other areas. So we could tackle other areas or we can tackle money.

As soon as you start to unravel it in one area, it automatically starts to unravel in the other, which is such good news. You get paid for your back there.

Akua: Oh, 1, 000%. And um, I’m really interested to know, number one, I love that transparency of like last year, right? Like you’re in this famine mode. I got kicked

Jaime: in the teeth.

Yeah. You got

Akua: kicked in the teeth. And so you’re like, Oh my gosh, like all of these new misunderstanding, I love that too. Instead of like, instead of a block, it’s a misunderstanding. Yeah. So all of these misunderstandings that are unexpectedly coming up. And so I’m really curious for you, especially cause you said like you were talking about, you’re talking about money mindset, but like you’re in a position where it’s like, I’m not, I’m not making that much right now and I’m trying to navigate that, but I think I love that though.

That’s the beauty of entrepreneurship because I think a lot of the times we view things as black and white of like, I have, if I’m an expert at this, that means I always gotta be at a hundred percent. I always gotta be good. And that’s not the case. Like, right. And so I just love that you were like, all right.

I’m in a famine season right now, but I’m still going to step in and help others and help them get to, um, help them get unblocked and get them to understand more of their misunderstandings so that they know how they can move forward in their business.

Jaime: Absolutely. Because without the authenticity, the, the overwhelming, like fraudulent imposter syndrome will come up and either you’ll be.

Moving out of integrity with yourself. Nobody, that’s not success. That’s not wealth, right? Even if you make a buck, it’s still not well, or you let the shame consume you. And then you basically curl in the fetal position and watch 15 episodes of. something on Netflix.

Akua: Which, that is actually such a good point because I like, I think we, when we’re working through those, a lot of those things, we don’t realize how we’re going to react until it happens.

And so like, even for me, when I’m going through a hard time and like, I’ve now even had to like catch myself in certain behaviors, like when I want to binge, I’m like, why are you binging? Because there’s something else that you’re trying to avoid that you don’t want to work through. And so I love, I love that.

And so for you, what was some of the blockers that you had experienced last year that you have had to work through or are currently working through?

Jaime: Yeah. I think one of the, uh, blocks or misunderstandings is that if I was good at what I do, like if I’m skilled at my craft, that I would be making lots of money.

And I’m sure, you know, it’s so funny, especially like photographers, they have gorgeous work, gorgeous work, but they’re not making any money, right? It’s hilarious. Uh, the. And the reality, and I say, be honest, assess, look for feedback, where, where am I, I actually need some help in my strategy, in my approach, right?

But what really happens is we start to take it personally and we go, I’m not enough, like I’m not good enough versus my approach isn’t good enough. Like, like I’m not a good enough, you know, entrepreneur. And that’s why I’m not making money. Well, really what you’re saying is I, my worthiness. is somehow like hinged on this identity.

If I make money, I’m good. If I don’t, I’m bad. Or that’s just one of the misunderstandings, right? Because you could also say, if I make money, I’m evil. So then it becomes a threat. Like there’s a thousand ways we can twist this little, it’s like a Rubik’s Cube. Like every time you turn it, there’s like a new little like misunderstanding to take a look at.

But for me, going back to being willing. So I, I think when you hit a misunderstanding, we can get so sure about what it is, like the thought occurs to us, and then we look for evidence to confirm that thought, and then we play it like a repeating record, and then all of a sudden we’re showing up in a way to confirm it over and over and over again, it’s what your brain is designed to do.

No back. But the reality is, if we want something new, we not only need to do something different, but we actually need to, uh, go up with it. The stream. And what I mean by that is, uh, our actions is the last, like It’s one of the last rungs. I like to think of it like dominoes. It’s the last, one of the last dominoes that falls over.

And most of us go, this isn’t working. Let me try to change the behavior. Without ever looking at like, what are the dominoes before that? That are actually creating the momentum that are ending me up here over and over and over again. It’s really hard to change from a perspective of like doing something.

But actually getting over to the space of like, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? Am I willing to feel it? Am I willing to question what I’m thinking? Am I willing to look at new possibilities, even if it’s painful? So that I’m not actually stuck with like the groundhog day of what I’ve said is for sure true.

Cause

Akua: it is, it does take a lot of internal work and it’s, it can, cause that’s something I’m even currently working on myself. It’s like really deconstructing a lot of like, I’ve been working more on like. regulating my emotions, being much more like having more of an abundance mindset. And I don’t think we talk about enough of how truly this is a daily practice and work that you have to do every single day, because first you have to acknowledge the problem.

Great. Now you’ve acknowledged it, but now you have to actually like. Catch yourself in the middle of it where sometimes it’s like, it just feels easier just still having the original, like the pre, the original thought, right? The negative thought is sometimes just feels easier than actually having to work through it.

And so I love that you said that, like allowing yourself to feel those emotions, because if you, if you don’t allow yourself to feel it, it’s going to keep coming up. It’s going to keep coming up, but allowing yourself to feel it so that you can make the progress and being able to be in a place to receive.

And so obviously with your own experience and you’ve worked with other. Like clients, I’m just helping them get unstuck just in their business in general. What are some things, what are some blockers that you have seen business owners struggle with when it comes to attaining more wealth in their business?

Jaime: Yeah, I think especially for high achievers, one of the things that I see actually that’s like an abundance block, uh, is actually comparison and competition and you know, like, okay, yes. Comparison is the thief of joy, but I would think that comparison and competition is there’s one side of it. That is a thief of joy.

And then there’s one side that’s actually key to abundance. And so if we didn’t actually need to like, stop comparing or stop competing, but we actually looked at like, what is the actual function of that emotion? And if we did that, we could go, Oh, I keep comparing myself. Where I’m jealous of this and all that’s telling you is that you desire it,

Akua: right?

Jaime: And then so from, so when I compare and I go, Oh, I’m not as good as them now, I’ve, I put myself in a space of whack. And I’ve also come down to shame and guilt, which is really hard to come to create anything from that space. Or I can look at that same thing of comparison and I go, Oh, what about them? Am I, what is it I see them doing that I actually desire for myself?

Right. If I see like, uh, she’s. Look at her. She’s like, I can’t believe how fit she is. And I’m not, Oh, I have a desire to be fit. Right? Like if we didn’t villainize the comparison, but we actually looked at it like as if that emotion is speaking French and you have to do the work of translating it to English.

Like it came out in this, like the green eyed. And when you translate it, you’re like, Oh, it’s desire. Now a desire is more abundant than the lack of, I’m not like that person. So that’s one of them. Um, another one I see is where they think that what actually the question I like to ask. So if you’re listening to this, Ask yourself, what am I, what am I afraid of if I actually got the thing I wanted, right?

And then, so like say, you know, for a lot of people, it’s like that six figure mark is, is, you know, and then the next one would be like two 50 mark, right? Like, and if you asked yourself, okay, if I was going to make that six figure mark, let’s say, what am I afraid it’s going to happen? And you’re like, nothing, I’m not afraid of it at all, like bring it on.

That’s okay. Because consciously you’re like, yes, please, unconsciously, you’re pushing it away, right? You’re actually not willing to receive because you are holding on to some beliefs. So you keep going, okay, what if I could make 200, 300, 400, let’s say in a year you had, you doubled, you chose and you committed and dealt and quadrupled your income to 400.

What are you afraid of then? And you’ll be interesting. What will pop up for you? You might go like, well, then I won’t have any relationships. Well, if I do that, I’m going to totally burn down my health. If I do that, I’m going to have so many more complicated tax forms and, uh, like employees and right. You just let it all come out.

And what you’re going to find at the core of it is really what you’re holding onto. And when you can meet the need. Of that core desire, then you don’t need to hold on to that strategy. Cause when you said like, oh, my money block is a problem. It’s not a problem. It’s actually a solution to an unconscious desire.

And so if you can solve it a different way, it doesn’t have a job to do. So like, let’s say you don’t, for me, when I do this exercise, one of the things that comes up for me. Is that if I was to, you know, double, triple, quadruple my business, I go, uh, my life would be unmanageable and I would, my children would pay the price.

Like I would not be present. I would burn my relationships down to the ground. And for me, I think about like, where did that come from? Like, Oh, like I, I’m one of six kids. My mom was very busy and I longed for more individual time with my kids. Right. So that’s a really on. Think about the strategy that my little five year old me came up with.

Well, if you’re not busy, then you won’t ignore your kids and you won’t hurt them, right? So it’s actually genius, but it’s out, it’s an outdated strategy for me now. So the need there is for me to create, uh, healthy relationships and like boundaries around time. So now I get to choose, am I going to use that information?

I can shame myself for it and go like, that’s silly. That’s stupid. That’s not really how I feel. Or you go, Oh, there’s some desire there for part of me. It’s working against me, by the way, to get to receive that money and I go, Oh, I want to make sure that I pay attention to my kids. I want to make sure. So then I create boundaries like my work day is done.

So when my son, I only have one at home now, when I walk, when he walks in the door at 4 p. m., I’m not on a work call. Rarely will that happen, like an emergency basis. Will I be working? If I’m not traveling, I’m home and present, like putting those boundaries. Then after a while, when I put those boundaries and the resistance towards moving towards what I want starts to lessen, I don’t have to like manhandle my will, I don’t have to like white knuckle it, I start to meet the needs.

And when I start to meet the needs, you just find yourself doing the things. That you were scared to do.

Akua: Oh my gosh, this is just phenomenal. And I loved it. The first part that where you shared about how when you find yourself jealous of somebody, it’s a desire. And I had learned that this year as well.

And I felt so free because there was somebody that I follow. I admire her work. I love her. And I never felt that way towards her before. And. I was on Instagram and I just, I felt it. I was like, why am I super jealous of this person? Though I had never been before, I’ve seen their content so many times, that has not changed.

But all of a sudden, and I was like, oh Akua, that’s your next step. Like what that person is doing. That’s what your next step is. And I was like, Oh, you know what I mean? And it was just like, and it, and so then I was like, okay, so clearly for me, my body’s telling me like, this is the next step for me. So then what are the steps I need to do to get there?

And that has been an absolute game changer for me. And like, I’m still working through like, yes, there’s some people like I just completely mute, whatever, fine. But the other people like, where I’m like, okay, so managing that, I’m like, okay, it’s not jealousy. It’s like, I’m in. I’m low key really inspired what you’re doing and like, I want what you have and like, you’re just inspiration for me to attain it.

And so that’s something that I have been reminding myself. So I love that you shared that because it’s true. We do, we say all the time, all the time, comparison is the thief of joy, but also comparison tells you what could potentially tell you what your next step is and where to go.

Jaime: And you know, it’s sitting right next to that one, sitting right next to that is this idea that there’s not enough to go around.

So if she has it, I can’t have it.

Akua: Right?

Jaime: Like how many times have I heard? Well, my industry is just really flooded in my area or, you know, like the economy is really bad yet. There are people who are still making the money that are. And so the, the idea that if I get a slice of the pie that you don’t like, either we get book, it’s smaller slices of the pie instead of being like the pie is actually endless.

Like, and if we actually believe that, then we would actually be more collaborative. Yeah. In our work and as entrepreneurs, uh, loneliness is, uh, you know, a desire for connection. And when we just, we shut down that desire for connection, we end up with apathy and apathy looks an awful lot like scrolling and complaining and.

Numbing ourselves or, uh, working endlessly, right? So like the, cause when I, there’s the competitive, right? Like right next to it, I like to look at like, okay, do I actually believe that there’s enough for everybody?

Akua: Like

Jaime: if, if I don’t believe there’s, see how it would feed the competition, right? Feed the comparison because that means like, oh, she, she’s doing well.

That means I can’t do well versus like, oh no, she’s proof. That it can be done. Like thank you. You. And then when we feel judgment towards that person, what we often want to do is like lean away. And I had a coach one time say like, Oh, lean in, lean into the judgment. Don’t mute that girl. Like actually, you know, if you can’t actually do the work behind the judgments, mute them.

Akua: Yeah.

Jaime: But if you can lean in and go, what about her bugs me? What do I not want to be with in me? That I see, what hurt do I have from that, that I need to forgive? Because also, unforgiveness is also an abundance block. Like when we, and, and I will say, and this is actually, I think one of my biggest areas of work that I continue to need to do is releasing past judgments of myself and forgiving.

Because without it, you’re literally like tethered to past you.

Akua: Yes. You are just dropping so many like. Okay. Just gem after gem, because that is, that is so, so important. And I think I just, there’s just so many layers that you have said to of like, even earlier too, with what you said about like, just the question that you have to ask yourself really of like, and coming from a place of curiosity.

So instead of judging yourself more, so ask yourself, what is it about this person that bothers me? What, like, what is it about them? Um, what is it that they’re specifically doing, right? And again, that’s just going to lead you to have a deeper understanding of yourself and like the things that you want to work on, but also to have like what it is that you want to attain.

And so, and I think that’s something I’m learning as well of like leaning more into just abundance and like, just. There’s plenty to go around. I read this book. It’s an old book from like the flipping seventies. It’s really outdated, but I love it. I read it all the time. I need to know the book. It’s called the law of prosperity.

And it’s actually, yeah. And it’s like a super old book by Catherine Ponder. And I love it. I’ve read the book so many times and I always remind myself cause she says it’s in the first chapter of like, there is gold dust in the air for me. And like, there’s gold dust. for everyone. Like there’s enough gold dust to go around.

And I know it sounds so cheesy, but I say that all the time to myself. I’m like, anytime, like, cause it just creeps up. Like, I’ll just be sitting there and I’m like looking at like my finances finances. I’m still working through, right? Like, but I always, I’m like, I’m forcing myself every day. I check my bank account, but I can’t act like I don’t get.

Anxiety. I still do. And I always myself like a hood. There’s gold dust that like, if I don’t hit my goals that I want to hit, I’m like, Oh cool. There’s gold dust in the air. Like it’s going to be figured out. There’s gold dust. There’s, there’s gold dust for you and me for everybody. That’s what I always tell myself.

So,

Jaime: well, I, I love that the reminder and like the gentleness of saying like, Hey, there’s gold dust for every bun, but can I offer you some feedback? Yes, please. The word like I forced myself to, so just like neurolinguistically how the world occurs to us shows up in our language. And if you look at the words you’re using and not just the words that are coming out of your mouth, but the words that bounce around your head, like if you notice them not with judgment, but with curiosity and go like, Oh, I’m forcing myself, well, how long can we force ourselves without paying the price?

Akua: And

Jaime: if we didn’t need to force ourselves, what else could we do while still holding ourselves to the action? Like if there, if it wasn’t forcing ourselves, what if it could be like, I’m leading myself, I’m parenting myself. Right. And as you start to change that language, like it starts to occur differently because the ecosystem we set up inside is that we either chase ourselves with a stick or we dangle ourselves with dangle a carrot and like forcing is chasing with a stick.

And that’s a part of. Right? Because we don’t just, we don’t grow and change just out of pure motivation and delight. That doesn’t happen, but just noticing like, Oh, based on my language, it occurs that I’m forcing myself to do something that I know will be like pay off in the future. And if it didn’t need to be forced, what if I could actually be like, Oh, I don’t enjoy this future.

Me is really happy that I’m doing it. Like some gentleness in its stewardship rather than, than slavery.

Akua: Oh my gosh. I love that so much. Again, it’s like handling yourself with care. And I think that’s something that we’re so hard on ourselves as business owners. And that’s something because I am at a heavily a high achiever.

I am like mediocrity is not in my vocabulary. Like I refuse anything that I do, but. It comes at a cost, like a lot, like I am burnt out. Like I’m, so a lot of that I’ve had to really continue to restructure. And I’m always like a cool, like, how could you reparent yourself? Ask myself, like truly. And like, and that’s just something I’m trying to, to still navigate of like, even to cause I’m like, it’s like seven, I checked my bank account and like stuff like that.

I’m like, Ooh, like, again, so I think, again, we need to remind ourselves of like handling ourselves with care. And when you like, when we, when we see other people that, and that how hard they are on themselves, we’re like, Hey, don’t, you know what I mean? We offer the encouragement and all that stuff, but so many times we don’t give it to ourselves.

And a lot of times we need it the most. And so absolutely.

Jaime: Yeah. And if we don’t, it’s kind of like if, if you’ve ever been to like therapy or like in coaching, I remember when I was in therapy or coaching, I would start to hear their voice in my head before I metabolized it as my own internal voice. And that’s what my clients would be like.

I’m doing this and all of a sudden I hear you ask that question, right? And then it becomes their voice and it just becomes integrated into who they are and how the world occurs to them. So it’s like the, the re, the reparenting is legitimate. It’s, it’s how we earn, uh, that peace. And that wholeness that we desire is by doing, because like parenting isn’t just, you know, like there was one point my son, uh, he, when he’s 23 now, but when he was little, he would get ear infection after ear infection and he hated the medication, like claw, like would just like clench his jaw completely shut.

It’s raging ear infection. I have to get the medicine down and I remember at one point literally like pinning him down I had to put his legs under my like my legs over his arms. He’s on the ground I’m like sitting on his chest. I’m not like weight bearing on this. Yeah, by the way I’m hovered over him and I have to like Deck the little syringe in his jaw and like pry it open and then pour it a little bit by a little bit and he’s Trying to spit it out until he swallows it and I was it was horrible Right.

He hated it. I knew if he could get that medicine down, the ear infection would subside and he wouldn’t be in pain. Right. I was willing for that short term pain for the longterm gain of the future that, you know, I don’t want the future. If I don’t do that, what? Hearing loss? That sounds fun. Children used to die from ear infections.

No, thank you. Is it worth that almost violence to get that medicine down? Yes. And so sometimes our growth feels violent. Right. When we are looking at, oh, you open up that bank account and you look at it. Wolf, when you look at your credit card statement, wolf, when you look at your honey book, you know, contracts in the invoices coming in and you see that you’re not booking what you did last year, or you’re, it’s lower than, or there’s not an inquiry wolf, but if we won’t look at it, we can’t order it.

And if we can’t, or it is going to stay chaotic and chaos is a money block.

Akua: Jamie, I just, this is so good. This is so, so needed because again, it’s like making that connection in all areas of your business, how that can lead to a money block. Right. And I, like you said, growth, our growth can sometimes feel violent. I’m like. That is so true. Especially when things just go unexpected.

I mean, you know, you get sued by a client, um, you know, just crazy things. It feels violent. Right. And like, it’s like, again, like, but you have to face it. You have to, so that you can be able to navigate it to come out on the other side, to unblock those things that you can receive more in your business. And I think, again, that’s just such an important, important reminder of like, no matter what season you are in your business, number one, it’s temporary, but to like lean into what you said before, like, coming from a place of curiosity, leaning in of like, and do the work, do the work.

Because I think again, it’s totally 1000 percent going to pay off. And so I want to ask for business. And I mean, you have shared already so many great tactical things throughout our conversation, which I have loved, but for business owners, they’re like, okay, I feel super stuck right now. What are some things that they can be implementing like today?

Yeah,

Jaime: so I think number one is a lot of people say, like, Oh, just think abundantly or, you know, believe that there’s possibilities. But when you’re like, On the mat. And every time you get up, you get slammed back down. You’re like, I don’t even want to do that. So I actually suggest that you try to come to neutral.

You don’t have to come to abundant, come to neutral, right? And if you can get to neutral, man, you’re having, like, if you look at the map of consciousness, like at the very bottom, there’s like shame and guilt and blame, like that’s where like our victim story, all that sort of stuff. If you come up to the baseline where it starts to come into the abundant space, the gateway is neutrality.

Akua: And

Jaime: if you can get yourself to neutral and you may have to get to neutral, if you’re like down in the depression, you’re going to have to come up to anger before you can get up to neutral. But if you can get up to neutral. Cause the anger is going to actually cue you into conversations. You need to have anger is going to cue you into passion.

Like I, like, I’m sick of this. I want right. Like that’s desire. That’s rising, bringing you up. And the possibility are so much easier to see and implement when you get to a place of neutral. Now, right above neutral is willing, willing. Ooh, this one’s a good one. Willing to feel the scared, willing to feel the regret, willing to feel the shame, willing to feel the hope because hope can feel so freaking dangerous.

When you’ve been disappointed over and over again, and you haven’t had a place to actually figure out how to navigate disappointment and actually grieve, especially high chambers. I’m going to, I’m going to go on a limb and say that 50 percent of the listeners of this podcast are any Grand Prix’s because you guys eat podcast.

for lunch, dinner, breakfast on two times speed and, uh, there’s a, that’s me,

Akua: but I’m not a three, but, but

Jaime: number you, I’d have to know.

Akua: Oh, I’m a six, but when I’m unhealthy, I’m a lot of people mistake me for a three. And when sixes are not doing too hot, they go to a three, like the unhealthy three. It’s like very arrogant.

stubborn, but either way, yes, I listened to everything at two X speed.

Jaime: Right. So, and you create this like hungry ghost syndrome where you keep like, like you keep feeding yourself achievement, achievement, achievement, right? Like I’m like this goal, this money is going to make me happy. And then it just like falls right out.

Uh, so the, the willingness to be with like the emotions you don’t want to feel. The willingness to look at possibilities, the willingness to look at hope, the willingness to. Allow yourself to value what you value versus what you think you need to value. Like for example, speaking and coaching, like doing live events.

I love doing live events. And I was, for a while I was traveling regularly, working for two different companies, going and, uh, spending multi days with a bunch of like. Rockstar entrepreneurs. And they would be, they would be teaching them stuff about business Instagram and that I would be there in real time getting people unstuck as I didn’t have to prepare.

It was like intuitive. I got to be my jam. And then I started to get inquiries for like speaking gigs. And so then I tried to force myself into this box of what I should be and have like a PowerPoint and have, and I remember like going, okay, that was kind of fun. That was okay. But I just I don’t know. And then I went to this event in Nashville and I was sitting behind stage waiting for my turn.

And I remember thinking like, ditch your talk, ditch it. You need to ditch it. You need to just go out there and there’s a different, there’s a different need in the room. No, no, no. I ignored my intuition. I went out and gave my talk. It was so boring. And not me. And after, and my husband had come in to, to see me, cause he happened to be like traveling close by.

He came and watched and I was like, I went to lunch afterwards. I said, okay, give me some feedback. He’s like, really? I’m like, yeah, C minus. And I was like,

Akua: Oh

Jaime: yeah. Talk to my girlfriends that I’ve worked with and they’re like, yeah, it’s not your genius. Like, I don’t know what that was. That wasn’t you. And yet it’s terrifying to just like, Hey, pay me a bunch of money, come talk.

And I don’t know what I’m gonna say, but the more I’ve been willing to do that, so much more fun. Like, I didn’t know what I was going to say when we met at Conquer. I had an idea. I had some, like, props of some ideas that popped into my head that morning, like, that’s my jam. Like, if you’d given me the questions you were going to ask me, it would have been like beep bop zort.

Like, that’s not the way I work. So the willingness to be like, I’m willing for it to be absolutely garbage for me to stay in integrity with the way that, like, my That’s risky. I’m willing to be kind to myself when it fails. I am willing to not be big, bad principal up until now. That is where I go is the principal’s office when something doesn’t work out.

So then I get afraid of failure because on the other end of failure is me wagging my finger at me. You suck. So it’s the willingness. To do like the willingness to like have a sales conversation and for them to say, no, the willingness for you to try something and it not work, the willingness to write a book because you’re passionate about the book, knowing that it may never set.

The willingness to get bad reviews about a product, the willingness to launch a marketing campaign that flops, the willingness to actually feel it all like that’s where we built the resilience and we can actually move forward.

Akua: Oh my gosh. I just, I’m just taking it all in because I feel it’s just, it’s so important and I love what you shared of even of just like, right?

Like Yeah. Just getting yourself to neutral but even before that I’ve like where you talk about like, you know You find themselves in depression and it’s like getting yourself to anger and anger is what feels passion and I think it just speaks to which I think this this whole conversation is to Instead of like suppressing our emotions good or bad like lean into them and express them Yeah Because that’s what’s truly gonna propel you forward like, you know like and that is something that I think even we like if you’re angry be angry and like Accept it and use that to fuel you to the next thing, right?

To be passionate and then get yourself to be willing. I think, I love that because I’m like, we think in our mind immediately of like, Okay, I have the scarcity mindset. Okay, boom. I’m just gonna do some affirmations every day and then like, And it doesn’t work that way. That’s like asking a baby to do a cartwheel.

Yeah,

Jaime: okay.

Akua: Right. Go ahead. You know, yeah.

Jaime: Right, no, they gotta learn how to crawl, and then they’re gonna learn how to stand, and then they’re gonna learn how to walk a few steps, and then they’re gonna walk, and then they can run, right? Then maybe we’ll talk about a somersault. Not even a cartwheel yet. So the idea that you’re supposed to go from scarcity To abundance is laughable.

Akua: And

Jaime: the fact that you think you can put on an affirmation and for that to work, but I think of affirmations without the deep work is like popping a mint and never brushing your teeth and thinking that you’re cleaning your mouth. Yes. You know, and for some of us, it’s not even, I got to clean my teeth, but I got to go to the.

Periodontist to get what is there and that’s not bad, but let’s be real that, that we can’t say I am successful. I am successful. I’m successful. I’m successful. Meanwhile, we have, we’re under the misunderstanding that successful means worthy. Yes. Right. That, that successful means that you’re more valuable.

And I’m not talking about monetarily valuable, but more valuable human, or you know, you say the affirmation and it, and you try to manhandle your behavior into something new without actually like clearing up the clutter of the misunderstandings. That’s so much harder. Now you do it long enough. Yes. Cause it will seep down into your unconscious.

So I say it’s not, it’s like a tool in the tool belt user. Absolutely. But especially, you know, it’s really helpful is when you can see, like, for example, the misunderstanding I was under is that if I make a lot of money that I’m going to abandon my family. So then I created that, okay, so my affirmation that would actually help because I’ve seen that misunderstanding, I’m forgiving that misunderstanding.

I choose to like act in alignment to protect that boundary, right? So my affirmation then could actually be in support of it. I make a lot of money while being deeply connected to my family. And then that becomes like a reminder to that part that’s scared and keeps throwing a wrench in the tire. Right. I keep falling off the bike.

Right. But if I actually have the conversation with that part of me and meet that need, well then that that person can actually help pedal. And it’s not like a once and done conversation. No, it is. It’s like breathing. There are going to be parts like inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, exhale. Like the amount of times I, uh, uh, find myself in the old, Paradigm, the old identity, the old strategies that are really just me trying to love me, just really crappy strategy for my adult goals.

Um, it’s constant. But if I can’t see it, I’m stuck with it. If I’m judging it, I’m stuck with it.

Akua: Oh my gosh. I love that. And I think I needed to hear that because I feel like a lot of times too, like I’ve been just doing a lot of that deep work and I feel like I’m like not making progress, which is so frustrating because you don’t see it.

You don’t see it. You know what I mean? And so like, I think again, Just with business owners, like you have to do the deep work. Um, I think I love how you like said, like affirmations, those types of things. It’s just a tool in the tool belt. And it’s like, you have to take things a step further, really lean into those misunderstandings.

How can we be gentle with ourselves? How can we reparent ourselves? How can we really come from a place again of curiosity and ask ourselves the hard questions? So that we can clear up these blockages so that you, again, you’re stepping into a new identity. And I, I remember I said this too at, at Conquer during, uh, your panel where I was like, Hey, like I have a goal in my mind and even with this show and, you know, everything like that.

And I’m like, okay, that’s going to require a different type of Akua. I’m going to have to do things that I’ve never done before. And so in order to do that, what are some things of how do I get there? And so I’m like, I remember we talked about, I was like, yeah, like, you know, I want to be a multi six figure business owner.

I’m like, okay, well, what would multi six figure Akua do? You know what I mean? Just those types of things. But I loved how you said, and like, that’s how I’ve been doing it. I’m like, okay, like I have my interviews, you know, I’m going to. Where more like, you know, get done up, right? And like where I feel confident interviewing, right?

Like that’s what multi six figure Akua would do. Or, you know, how does she show up? How does she handle conflict? How does she speak to herself? How does she speak to others? And so those are the things that I’ve been saying to myself. But then I loved how what you added to that was. But like, this is not saying that like God and spend a whole bunch of money in this and that.

She’s like, you were like, work with what you have. And I loved that. It’s like, I just want to remind business owners as you’re doing this and you’re becoming, you know, this new person, like just continuously lean into what you have because you have everything that you need to be able to be this, this new person and like to uncover your like blockages.

And so that you can be able to really receive and move forward in your business.

Jaime: Absolutely. Because the idea that you can buy a car that you can’t afford, so you can project an image that you aren’t actually integrated with, right, is not actually what, when you say like act in accordance with future you, like, well, what would millionaire Jamie do in this exact circumstance?

And you know what? Like I was thinking about this this morning in the shower, I was thinking about, uh, how do I find out more of like, My, like, identity tweaks I want to do. Like, how do I know what, and I thought, Oh, judgments. Judgments are always like such good, good gold. And so I like was thinking about, okay.

What are some of the judgments, if I looked in generalities and I got really petty, of people who are really like bad with their money, how do they behave? What do they like? What do they don’t like? How do they think about their finances? Right? Versus kind of like, you know, like the habits, the habits of, uh, seven habits of highly successful people.

Right? You’re looking at like, what do they have in common? Well, wouldn’t it be helpful to see what other people in lower socioeconomic, what do they have in common? How do they think about it? Um, Am I up to that in my own little way? Right? Like, for example, like maybe, uh, buying something that they can’t afford to project.

Hmm. That’s, that’s actually the behavior of a low income earner, not a high income earner. And yet we think, do you see how we’re trying to like brush our teeth with mud? Like, yeah. Versus well, what, how, how did they. If all of a sudden the millionaire and you know, like there’s those TV shows where they take a millionaire and they’d be like, okay, you’ve got 30 days or 90 days to make your business back.

Like, what do you do? Well, guess what they’re still doing. They, they’re still working out. They’re still taking care of their belongings. They, they are still in their healthy mindset. Like they’re, they’re doing their, even they can’t afford to go to the gym anymore. Cool. They’re doing like a workout video in their, whatever, you know, like on YouTube.

Uh, they’re, they’re washing the crappy car. That they have they’re ironing their cheapo clothes, right? They you see what i’m saying? Like we we actually make it up We we look at the our culture is so fascinated with like form rather than function That we want to project the pretty rather than like The, the function.

And so we think that it’s like outside of what we, we think we need to go out and spend in order to like have the abundance, but really it’s like, Oh, I actually have an abundance of dirty laundry right now. Oh, wow. Look at that. I could actually deal with that. Like I have an abundance of mail piled up in this clutter.

I could organize that abundance, right? Like it’s actually different than what we make it mean. Cause when you think about that, even like personal hygiene, do you think a millionaires, like. Not taking care of now. They may have the luxury of getting their hair done and going to get waxed and have a personal trainer and a personal chef.

If you ripped everything away, they’d still be taking care of themselves. They’d still be taking care of themselves. Yep.

Akua: They’d

Jaime: be doing it on a dime, but they’d be taking care of themselves. So we think it’s like, Oh, I need to get dressed up. Well, only if you’re a version of the millionaire needs to be dressed up.

Cause your mantra could be, I make a million dollars in leggings. Like I 99 percent of the time when I’m on coaching sessions, I am. No makeup. Sitting on Zoom. Like, I don’t care if you’re making a million dollars a year, or you’re making Right. Now, am I going to get up on stage like that? No. Not unless it’s my own event.

Akua: Then

Jaime: I might actually do a, Hey, come in leggings and no makeup. But that’s because that’s, like, my value. I like both. This idea that we have to, like, project perfection works against us in a lot of ways. 1,

Akua: 000%. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love that you took that even, even deeper. Because, like, even for me, I was like, Okay, like, what Number one lets me know that I’m on the right track.

’cause I was, okay, cool. Like, why do you like, like do you want dress up? ’cause I’m like, yeah, I wanna feel good every single time that I go into an interview and like, I don’t wanna question myself. You know what I mean? Like stuff like that. And so I think that’s just a good run of like, what do you value?

Because yeah, you can be, you can absolutely be successful in some sweatpants, like, you know what I mean? I think again, it’s like what do you value as a business owner and what. Where I think for me too, I’m like, where I’m still Akua, like, yes, I’m still the, like, I’m this new person, but to my core, like who I am, my spirit, you know what I mean?

Like, that is the same. And so I think I love that where I think it just really makes sure that the decisions that we’re making and the, the actions that we’re doing or taking is aligned. And I think that’s something that’s really, really important. Jamie, I could talk to you forever because this conversation has been absolutely phenomenal.

And so a part of the Unbreakable business, we now do rapid fire questions. I’m going to try. I know I’m going to try real hard not to ask why or anything because people be like, why do you ask? I’m like, because I want to know why every time people give me an answer, but I’m going to, I’m going to do my best.

Okay, here we go. Are you ready? Yes. What is your favorite money mantra or affirmation that helps you stay aligned with abundance?

Jaime: Mmm. Actually, one of them is fun is I make money while peeing. Now I have to ask why. Okay. What? Because, because one of the money blocks or money misunderstandings, uh, is that I have to work hard for money.

Yes. And so then we actually will so not see opportunities right in front of us of where we could 10 X our money without putting in putting actually even less effort in. I’m not saying we don’t have seasons of, of hustle. What I’m saying is that we, when we believe we have to work harder for money, then why would I want to work?

Uh, why would I want more money if it means sacrificing all of my time? Does that make sense? So, uh, but one of the like workflows that I do is I look for evidence of where it’s true, right? And, you know, like getting a, an email, a little alert on your phone while you’re peeing that you just had a contract paid.

Like, you’re just peeing, you’re getting paid to pee, paid to pee, right? It’s just like a reminder of like, Oh, or even like a, another one would be like, uh, when I’m having fun, I make more money. Right. Cause for me and our child’s like, I don’t want to make more money cause it means I’m gonna have to do things I hate instead of being like, Oh, actually when I do what I want, when I do stuff, that’s fun.

Not that I don’t parent myself through the stuff I don’t enjoy. Cause that’s part of growth and business and maturing. Like, and then I look for like, where have I had fun and made like, even just yesterday I was on a session and I remember thinking, Oh my gosh, I’m having so much fun. Oh my gosh, I’m having so much fun.

Like we were laughing and having a good time and powerful stuff was happening. And I’m like, this is fun. But if we don’t actually reckon, like, if we don’t pay attention, we can go all day and go like, uh, I hated work. It was boring. I, blah, blah, blah, right? It’s because we have to also, we have to notice the good stuff.

Our brain’s not actually cued to pick up the positive

Akua: like

Jaime: it is with the negative because negative is. Part of survival and positive is not so you have to actually practice it.

Akua: Oh my God. I love both of these explanations. I’m going to always ask why I don’t care anymore. That was good. Okay. What’s one habit you’ve personally adopted that’s dramatically shifted your financial life?

Jaime: Hmm. One habit. That’s a really. Interesting question. I guess I don’t think of it as a habit. I do think looking at your finances is helpful. I’m trying to think of what, what financial habit. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this stumped before. I’m going to have to do some discovery work on why that feels confusing to me.

Um, there’s, there’s something there for me. Uh, I, I will say focusing on who I want to be rather than the result. Like, I change the criteria of success out of the results. And into like how I want to serve, right. And that makes it just feel a lot cleaner for me.

Akua: Oh, I love that. Focusing on who you want to be instead of the result.

Jaime: Yeah.

Akua: That will totally change.

Jaime: Yeah. Yeah. Cause like if the result is the, like I always tell this with my clients too, like let’s change the criteria to what’s within your power rather than what’s not because then everything is a success. It may not have the outcome you wanted, but like, if I’m willing to be, like, so like if, uh, my intention is to be authentic as we have this conversation, it could go horribly.

And I’m authentic. I just gotta win. Yeah. And then I can, right?

Akua: Yeah. Love that. Um, okay. What’s the best piece of financial advice you’ve ever received?

Jaime: Oh, the best piece of financial advice. I don’t even know what the best, I think it’s when it’s the, when it’s the best, I’m going to come out of the best.

I’m going to come out of like, what are some, some really good ones that I, that I, yeah, because the best is creating an internal competition. Good. Uh, look at your finances. Okay. So this actually, oh, it’s rising to the top now. Set your intention, right. And look at your results. And if there’s a difference between the two, you know, your, your intention was not actually the result.

And that is very helpful because if you say like, I’m going to save a thousand dollars, let’s say, and you don’t save a thousand dollars, your intention wasn’t actually to save a thousand dollars, your conscience, your conscience. And conscious intention was to save a thousand dollars, but when you see different results, then you can get curious about, Oh, okay, so what’s happening for me, that’s actually right.

And then that’s, that’s gold also, because then you get to see what systems you’ve set up. So in terms of like money, right, it’s, it’s a, it’s a magnifier of what’s already going on for you.

Akua: And

Jaime: to, it just is. Looking at like, who am I going to be? Who am I committed to like, because being is so much easier than doing it informs the doing, if you try to do with a different kind of be like, I can’t show up scared and, and not wanting to be seen and then show up fully, there’s too much resistance there, right?

I’m going to. So coming back into the intention. I know that’s not specifically financial, but

Akua: No, but I love that. Love that. Okay, last one. And I just love too how you’ve been taking these and like, even if it’s not money, I still think like, it’s perfect. I love all the answers. Okay, so what’s one money myth that you love to debunk for good?

Jaime: Two that rise to the top. One is that I I need to work hard to to make money. Um, because if that was the case, people that, I mean, how many times have you gotten to an Uber car? And they’re like, I’ve been doing this for 13 hours today. Yeah. Right. So many times. Right. Because if it was true that working hard brought money.

Then our teachers would be making lots, right? Like we know that’s actually not true, right? It can be true, but it all can also be true that, uh, we can make money otherwise without working endless amounts of hours to the bone, right? Yeah. Um, that, and I, I think if, well, honestly, if we could, if we could D debunk this idea that money makes us.

More worthy or valuable. That would be massive because when we hit a failure, uh, when we can’t, or actually worthy and safe, those are the two I would pick.

Akua: Why do I feel called out? Cause I’m like, I want more money to feel safe.

Jaime: Yeah.

Akua: Yeah.

Jaime: But the reality of it is, is that like, if you lost everything and you were sitting on the park bench, like.

And you’re eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, like your peanut butter and jelly sandwich would taste the same, right? Like, I’m not saying that there wouldn’t be danger, but you’re already in danger in your mind, right? Like, it’s not like you escape the feeling of, of danger. And this one is a big one for me.

Like, because for me, money feels like stability and safety. Now, logically, I know that that’s not true, but it feels true. Right. Because here’s an example there. If I had to go live in my car, lost everything and had to go live in my car, I would be so terrified and it would be, I feel like I would be just miserable.

And yet I follow some guy on Instagram. That has chosen to go live in his car on. Yeah. Yes. Right. And he like door dashes and he does a YouTube channel. He’s loving it. Right. And then he like raised money to like build his small home. Like he’s, he chose, he chose it.

Akua: Right.

Jaime: So like, it’s interesting how like my worst nightmare is somebody else’s choice.

Akua: Yeah.

Jaime: So is it actually about safety or is it my perception of safety? Safety, yeah. Oh, that’s so good. Right? It’s like the, and it’s not about gaslighting yourself, but it’s just looking at like the quote that nothing good nor bad, but thinking makes it sound. So William Shakespeare quote, which I’m sure I’m butchering, but the idea of like how we perceive.

Our little reality creates our heaven or our hell.

Akua: Love that so much. Oh my gosh. This is like, I just know this is an episode I’m going to go back and listen to and also process like I just, even just from this, today’s conversation, I just have so much to process. And I think if you’re listening, you probably do too, because this has been just so impactful, so needed.

And I even just feel even with myself of really. Continuing to do the deep work, but doing it in a much different way. That’s more gentle. That’s more kind. And again, like really just even, I just, even with the Shakespeare quote that you just shared, I’m like, that really does put perspective, like put things in perspective.

And I think that’s, that’s, I think a lot of us as business owners, we. We separate the two, right? Like, okay, here I am as the person and here I am as the business. And you can’t like, and that’s what this podcast is all about. It’s like merging, talking about the merging of the two. ’cause like my life experience is the way that I operate.

That’s how I run my business. How we do one thing is how we do everything, which is why I did like some

Jaime: of those like fun exercises at the, the conference was so that, so that we could see, oh. How I do this little game is actually how I show up in this. Or if you get into a cold front and you’re like, I’m somebody who gets in right away.

And I like, I will beat everyone’s time. Right. You’re probably going to have that same energy versus you’re like, I’m not even getting in because I don’t even like the cold. Right. You’re probably going to be a little bit more of an avoided personality. Like how we do one thing is how we do everything. So.

That’s why, like, in my work, it doesn’t matter what conversation we have, it’s going to connect to something, which is going to connect to another thing, which is going to connect to another thing, like, it’s like, you’re coming here to work on this, and then you get results that, over in another area, but you have no idea that it was wanted and needed, but when you started to shift who you were.

And how you’re related to things, dominoes fell.

Akua: Yes. 1000%. And I think, yeah, I’m just, I’m so excited to, to really process through this conversations and even ask myself some harder questions because again, I, I want to, I like the person that I’m coming. I’m, I’m liking this new Akua that’s being formed. And so like, and it’s been hard, but in such a good way and just uncomfortable, but being stretched.

And I think this is another conversation too, there’s even processing through that. It’s going to continue to stretch me and I hope if you’re listening, like it stretches you too as a business owner. And so Jamie, I loved this conversation and every question we love to end with is what is having an unbreakable business mean to you?

Jaime: I think it’s having an unbreakable like relationship with yourself because the business may come and go like at one point you’re going to be 85 years old and you probably aren’t going to be working your business anymore. It’s really about like, am I willing? To be curious with myself, give myself compassion, hold myself to the actions that I say that I’m going to do, right?

Am I building trust with myself? To me, if you can build trust and you can be trustworthy with yourself, like you’ll be trustworthy in your business. And if you’re trustworthy in your business, you’re going to get results. And so to me, unbreakable is business. It’s, it’s not the question. It’s like the unbroke, like, how are you unbreakable for you?

And that’s going to be personal. Like, what are you doing? That’s breaking you right now. If it wasn’t, if you weren’t finishing yourself, like what are you doing? That’s like making you unbreakable. Maybe it’s I’m offering myself forgiveness or I’m resting when I need rest, or I’m willing to put myself out there for X, Y, and Z.

Like, it’s. The willingness to like work on you as a conduit, like your business is just like. But for you to like, put your gifts out there.

Akua: Yes. Oh my gosh. Love that. Love that answer. Uh, Jamie, thank you. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. This has been truly, I think, and a very important conversation, that business.

So I just, I think we don’t talk about this enough and I think it’s true, like really addressing how we operate, how we, view the world, our experiences and really just doing the deep work to get to where we want to be so that we can have an unbreakable business. And so thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your gifts today.

And so for those that want to connect with you, where can we find you?

Jaime: Well, first of all, thank you. This is so much fun. I love having just conversations. And if you’re looking for me on Instagram, my handle is unstuckologist and my website is jamiegordonlifecoaching. com.

Akua: I mean, she gonna get you unstuck.

I mean, you definitely got me unstuck today. So it’s a very fitting. So yes. Oh, Jamie, thank you. Thank you so much for joining us today. And for everybody listening until next time, thanks for tuning into unbreakable business. If you love today’s episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who needs a little extra inspiration.

Remember no matter what life throws your way, you have the power. To keep going and your business can be unbreakable to you until next time. Keep building, keep growing and stay unbreakable.