When we talk about the science of self-made success, we’re not just talking about sales, marketing, and data analytics. We’re also talking about things that are difficult to quantify—the human being behind the business, the one whose heart and soul makes all of the magic happen—yes, we’re talking about you. In today’s episode, we are sitting down with one of my favorite poets, authors, and actors, Arielle Estoria, to dig into the process of unfolding yourself and knowing your worth to discover who you were always meant to be.
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The process of unfolding & showing up
As Arielle wrote her book, The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home, she went through the grueling process of writing about certain seasons of life. Through extracting thoughts, feelings, and ideas from within herself, Arielle shed a lot of tears and re-lived some of those experiences.
Her intent was never to write a tell-all or share this juicy story with her readers, which meant that she found herself still putting up walls. To truly deliver the book she wanted, she had to go through her own unfolding process to discover who it was that she wanted to share with the world.
This meant that through each and every draft of her book, her editor helped chisel away a little more of those barriers in order to share her truest story while also honoring the other people involved in those stories. Over the course of three years of writing this book, Arielle went through a few different phases of awakening new parts of herself.
Knowing your worth
Independent business owners often find themselves asking, “Do I matter? Does the work I’m doing matter?” It’s important to acknowledge that this discouragement that business owners feel often means that what they’re doing really matters and is valuable. If you’re struggling with these thoughts, allow that reminder to be fuel for what you’re doing.
Arielle has experienced this in her own field, specifically when it comes to comparison. She remembers when she first discovered writer and poet Amanda Gorman, she assumed there wasn’t room for herself in the spaces she wanted to be in. Her husband had to remind her that there is room for both of them, as they each brought something different to the table. Every single person will touch individuals in different ways. While you won’t be for everyone, you will be the right voice for someone. That’s one reason that unfolding and discovering who you are meant to be is so valuable to not only you but others.
“You yourself are not going to be for everyone—that’s not realistic. Everyone has different palates and different things they need to hear in the different spaces that they’re sitting in.”Arielle Estoria
The value in your impact isn’t in the numbers or the reach that we often get caught up in on social media, but it’s in the one person that finds beauty in what you have to say. Simply put: You do matter.
Staying inspired as an independent business owner
We often talk about the freedom and benefits that come with being an independent business owner, yet there are a multitude of struggles we face that are so impactful to our overall decision to remain an independent business owner. This means that we’re met with the decision to either stick to the practical (oftentimes taking a corporate job) or chase after our passion as an entrepreneur.
These wavering moments often come in times when things don’t go your way or you’re faced with sometimes impossible scenarios. The key to these decisions is finding inspiration. Arielle’s inspiration comes from building a foundation to fall back on.
For her, this foundation is rooted in confidence—knowing that the doors that were made for her will open. Confidence is Arielle’s key tip for knowing your worth. She knows you can know your worth, too. Whether it’s saying no to the wrong opportunities or getting rejected, Arielle has found acceptance in those decisions. Not every opportunity will be the right fit, but in saying no or getting a rejection, you’ll make room for the right opportunities.
Unfolding can help you discover who you’re meant to be
Through the process of unfolding and finding yourself, there is a lot of vulnerability that comes along with it. It’s not easy to let go and unfold, as there is a lot of fear:
- Fear of safety
- Fear of being rejected
- Fear of not belonging
That risk puts most of us in a state of fight or flight. Many of us will stray away from the unfolding process in order to protect ourselves, yet that risk is simply part of the investment. Consider the opportunity for growth in yourself and your work when you make the decision to start unfolding.
The biggest differentiator between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail
When asked about the biggest differentiator between businesses that succeed and the ones that fail, Arielle highlighted businesses that keep people, clients, and coworkers, as the priority. When businesses take people out of their daily operations and mindset by making individuals a number, it dehumanizes them. Not only from a client standpoint but an employee standpoint as well.
The businesses and organizations that are sustaining have people behind them who are sustained and nourished on a human level.
- [3:00] The inspiration for unfolding
- [6:24] The unfolding process
- [8:46] Arielle’s journey
- [12:28] Do you matter?
- [16:00] Arielle on independent business
- [19:29] Foundation of inspiration
- [24:17] Learning to say no
- [28:04] Fear in unfolding
- [30:49] The biggest differentiator between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail
- [34:10] A reading from Arielle
- Buy black-owned: The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home
- Buy from Amazon: The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home